It’s been a few days since I posted because it’s been busy here with my new baby!  Gracie has done extremely well – she is very loving and smart.  The reactions to my comment about me not seeing the chihuahua in her are about 50/50 – some totally see it (even with one good eye!) and others don’t see it either.  The vet told me, when I took her in for a check up to make sure she was healthy – told me he thought she was mixed with some sort of terrier breed.  He also said she was very healthy and the perfect dogs for kids.  The boys were with me when we went and they were happy to hear that!  They LOVE LOVE LOVE her!

Rona and Sofie returned Saturday and they have been doing well.  There have been a few tense moments as they both jockey for the alpha position, but overall it’s been good.

Oh!  I finished my four weeks of boot camp!  Friday we did another times mile – I was apprehensive because I’ve hurt my left calf and running is very difficult for me.  I was concerned that I would not be able to finish or that my time would be very bad.  But, if you know me, you know I am very stubborn and decided to run as much as I could through the pain.  I was disappointed that I didn’t do better, but I still ended up cutting some time off.

First lap 4:03, second lap 4:02, final lap 3:53 for a totally time of 11:58, down from 12:21.  Oh, and when I first did push ups I could only do 6 without stopping.  I ended up doing 16 this time…..I think I could have done more but I got bored.  🙂  I go for my post evaluation on Thursday and will let you know the outcome.

Tonight I am leaving for New York City!  My friend Cathy is a huge Bon Jovi fan (and I am not exaggerating!) and invited me to go to TWO concerts out there!  I guess the tour is ending and they will probably not tour again for a couple years.  So she invited me!  She flew out Friday as there was a free concert yesterday in Central Park.  Originally I couldn’t go because I had motorcycle lessons this weekend, but they had to be rescheduled to Sept.  ANYWAY, I leave tonight on a red eye and arrive Monday morning.  The concert Monday night we have front row tickets!  And then the concert Tuesday night we are in the 8th row.  It should be very fun!  I am also excited because I’ve only been to NYC once, when I used to work for ADP.  I was in New Jersey for training and a coworker took me driving around one night.  I was able to go into the Twin Towers, the subway, etc.  But it was only for a few hours.  So this should be exciting to be there through Wednesday.  We are staying at the Trump Towers and that is AWESOME!  So I will take pics and let you know how it does!

Kids are doing great.  I am doing pretty good!  That’s all for now!

That question has been popping up in my head a lot today.  Why?  Why did I hit the wall?  Why do I subject myself to boot camp each morning?  Why are people sometimes so very stupid?  Why is it so hard to find a freaking job?  Why ask why?

I am dumb, I am sure!

But really, I am NOT sad!  I am sitting here, after KICKING BUTT on Guitar Hero (Sorry Rona, I killed Satan the first time and am catching up with you!), I had a yummy dinner of roasted chicken, am watching a new Intervention, received an awesome call from Kenny, look forward to seeing Kirstie tomorrow, and realized life is amazing.  So why ask why?  Life is what it is – if I knew the answer to some of my questions, would that change anything?  Maybe, maybe not.

Special shout out to an “old” friend, Journi, who has found me!  MySpace is COOL!  We have been “chatting” all day online and it’s amazing how the years we’ve been out of touch have melted away!  Um, like 14 years I think!  Whoa there!  I am very happy to be in touch with her again.

Okay, I have to get back to Intervention, which is going down right now!  I need to see if the dude is going to get help and if he actually stays off the drugs……yeah, such a crazy life I live!  But I won’t ask why……

Having survived the 4th of July and the traditional celebration of our country’s independence, I am rather intrigued by the idea of independence.  Yes, there is a definition to follow!

As derived from the root word “independent”:

1: not dependent: as a (1): not subject to control by others : self-governing (2): not affiliated with a larger controlling unit <an independent bookstore> b (1): not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent <an independent conclusion> (2): not looking to others for one’s opinions or for guidance in conduct (3): not bound by or committed to a political party c (1): not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood) <independent of her parents> (2): being enough to free one from the necessity of working for a living <a person of independent means> d: showing a desire for freedom <an independent manner> e (1): not determined by or capable of being deduced or derived from or expressed in terms of members (as axioms or equations) of the set under consideration; especially : having linear independence <an independent set of vectors> (2): having the property that the joint probability (as of events or samples) or the joint probability density function (as of random variables) equals the product of the probabilities or probability density functions of separate occurrence 2capitalized : of or relating to the Independents

So, having read that, I am glad that our country fought for independence from the English crown so many years ago.  Yet, I can’t help but analyze my own life.  I like to think of myself as very independent – self reliant, a free thinker, autonomous.  I get all prideful at times regarding this as well!  Yet, as I sit and type this, I realize that this is a crock!  I realize that I am very, very dependent on others.  How so?  Well, I rely too much on others’ opinions to define me.  I am too afraid to share my true feelings, afraid to be rejected.  Yet, if I do that, do the others really KNOW me?  I work so hard at fitting into other’s perception of me, I lose myself, and yet I sit here crying inside, hoping they see the real me – and yet do nothing to present the real me!  What is THAT about?

So, I am dependent and dumb at the same time!

Okay, I can sense the pity party coming on so I will end this analysis!

Special shout out to Edgar, who is doing a great job starting his Web Design/Programming/Drafting business!  If you know anyone who needs help with any of these, you should contact him!  He does a GREAT job!  Check out AdvantaSky for more info.

There is one thing you really need to know about my living arrangements……the people in this household are serious competitors!  Guitar Hero, Rock Band, telling jokes, drinking wine……and COLORING CONTESTS!!!!

Coloring contests?!?!!?!!  YES!  Check this out:

Apparently, one of the adults won a coloring contest when they were a child and it was a big deal.  As such, there was some smack talking going on about how that must have been a fluke!  And, therefore, the coloring book and crayons came out.  The judges (Rona, Josh, and myself) had a hard time deciding on the winners, and decided each would get a prize (can you see that was a decision made by Rona?  LOL)  However, there WAS a Best in Show winner….more on that later.
Picture One

Picture Two

Picture Three

Picture Four

The judges came up with the following results:

Picture one – Best use of texture in a crayola medium, colored by Sandy

Picture two – Best in show, colored by Aaron

Picture three – Most creative use of crayons, colored by Emma (who is 10)

Picture four – Best use of color in a crayola medium, colored by Stephanie

Now, you should have SEEN the faces when the above were announced!  You see, the person who had won as a child was AARON, so he won again!  I seriously thought Stephanie and Sandy were going to KILL us!  Of course, Aaron was saying booya left and right!  Sandy was all making fun of Tinkerbell’s tan lines in his coloring, etc.  It was hilarious.  But I have to say, Emma did a GREAT job of adding bling to her drawing!

So, this is a great example how competition, in and of itself, is so important to us here in PTown!  Pathetic?  You be the judge…..

Technically, this would be:

a statement expressing the essential nature of something b: a statement of the meaning of a word or word group or a sign or symbol <dictionary definitions>

Having said that, how would you define yourself?  Intelligent?  Happy?  Old?  It’s interesting how we see ourselves and also how we explain ourselves to others.  For example, if you thought you were pretty, would you TELL people you were pretty, or let them figure it out themselves?    And how do you measure happiness?  Is that based on an inner knowledge or on outside stimulus?  Do we NEED things to be happy, or do they just add to the happiness that is something that is inside of us that was placed there by our Lord or our faith or our essense?

I, like you, WANT to be happy.  I can laugh with not much influence – in fact, Rona could probably tell you I laugh pretty darn easily!  And that is a part of me that is so natural, so real, and such an immense reflection of my inner happiness.  When I am laughing, I find a peace as if they universe is aligned and all things are perfect.  Yet all things are NOT perfect, and that’s why it is so supernatural to me.

So what the heck am I SAYING here?  Maybe “finding happiness” doesn’t have to be so complex, really.  I make it too complex.  I define things that I want (or, as the case may be, tell myself “I need” it) and tie happiness to those objects.  Or create scenarios in which, once reached, I will be happy.  But maybe happiness is not reached, but is with us, inside.  Maybe I need to focus on the simple things when defining my happiness, and anything above that could just be gravy.

For example, I have the best family and friends a person could ever ask for!  Why do I seek more?  Why do I tell myself that I NEED more?  Because, in truth, just having my family and friends in my life make my heart sing.  And that is supernatural.

Further, despite the crap that has been flung at me from “Christians” lately, I cannot deny that Jesus brings me much happiness.  It’s funny – when things were going well in my life, I threw out that phrase rather easily.  Yet, after the last 3 or so months, when my days were blacker than any other time in my life, He truly showed me His supernatural peace, love, and acceptance.  I could try to ignore it, try to run from Him, but He loved me throughout my darkest moments.  He did not manifest the horrible, pharisaical attitudes of that reached by a Christian Credit Union located in Brea, California (and based on information that, at best, was crap), but manifested love for me when I needed it the most.  And that has made me happy as well.

Okay, so officially, the definition of happy is:

enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment <is the happiest person I know> <a happy childhood>

And that is all the reflecting I will do today!

One thing about being unemployed is you lose track of what day it is!  My boot camp is helping me with that, although taking it four days a week tends to get a little muddled still!  The toughest part is having to think what day it is to cheer my first glass of wine!  LOL

Anyway, it is approaching a month since I parted ways with my last employer – y’all that know who that is, know who that is.  That’s a weird feeling, as I’ve never really been unemployed before!  I have been looking for a job, but I have to tell you, it’s been tough – way different than I am used to!  Either I am overqualified, they want to pay me too little, or I really don’t get a response!  So, there you go.  I refuse to be pitiful or give up because I know there is a great job out there for me!

Well, I began writing this BEFORE boot camp, and now it is AFTER boot camp and I am BEAT!  So I’m off to shower and nap!

…..but now have a new life!

Okay, let’s do a quick inventory of my addictions: Coffee, computer/internet, sunflower seeds, and Guitar Hero. Blah, worthless! Because there’s a new kid in town! Let me explain:

I was excited to find out that Sandy and Aaron would be visiting – they arrived last night around 10:30pm. EVERYONE was excited by this news, including Kenny and Josh. When Kirstie found out about the news, she and Elliot headed on over too! Their appearance was cause for great rejoicing in all areas! The world truly felt whole again!

But, wait, there is an important factor I am excluding! Aaron, who will probably be rewarded with non-stop “Aaron Days” **, brought his ROCK BAND game!!!!

For those of you who do not know what Rock Band is, it is similar to Guitar Hero, but adds to the guitar drums and a mic. All players form a band and rock out! Talk about ADDICTION! We were up until 2:30 am (including Josh, who was too excited to go to bed, although Kenny hit the hay at about 1 am)! I think we would have stayed up even longer if we weren’t so bone tired!

BTW – everyone did quite well on the game! Rona is the best bass player, I did alright singing, on the guitar, and the drums. Sandy does some mean singing! Aaron was not feeling well but still rocked the guitar and used his rough voice well. Kenny stuck to the drums and rocked. Kirstie kicked it on expert guitar, of course. Josh did surprisingly well on the drums and sang “Mississippi Queen” better than his mom! I think we should go on the road……

So, now my existing addictions pale in comparison! If you haven’t every played it, be warned that you will become addicted! And maybe that’s a good thing!

Okay, people are still sleeping here, but the gardener is outside making awful noise, so I hope to be able to play again soon! Woohoo!

Gina OUT

** I have been known to assign days to individuals, where they are “it” and get special treatment. Aka “Today is a Rona Day” (which, incidentally, she complains never occurs). Since Aaron did such a good job with the game, filling my heart with addiction, he will be treated special the entire time he is in SoCal. If you would like to know how YOU can be given your own day, let me know and I will advise you!