American Idol Results…..Yikes I’m Nervous!

I am writing this as the show is being broadcast, so that’s why I am nervous!

Let’s see if Paula does anything as strange as last night!

Jason – he is cute and he seems really nice. But you know what? I can’t freaking believe he is safe!!! Amazing. Girls must be voting!

So does that mean Brooke is going home??? Fingers are crossed!

David A – he has to be in, don’t you think? Yeah, no surprise there.

David C – I love him I love him and he’s safe! Yeah baby!!!!

So is it Syesha or Brooke???? I hope it’s Brooke which is funny since I’ve called Syesha out many times. Hmmmm. Weird………………………

Brooke is gone! Sorry Steve, but it was time! And her sobbing at the end ALMOST made me feel bad……almost, but not quite!

American Idol – The Final Five

It’s getting more tough people! Carly is gone and there are only five people to beat up on, and I like the Davids for sure! So what can I do????? Well, at least I can do the weekly play-by-play and see what happens! Let’s do it.

NEIL DIAMOND NIGHT!!!! (I am a secret fan…..for my 14th birthday I asked and received his Jazz Singer album!)

First Songs:

Jason (5701)- I think this genre is very good for Jason. This song he did quite well, although I did get a LITTLE bored. But he looked pretty cute, even if I didn’t receive any texts about how hot he was! 🙂

David C (5702) – I like that he chose songs that are less known and hey, he gave Neil goose bumps! LOVED IT! He rocked it but it still have a ND flavor. His voice was a little rougher, and he sounded GOOD. Yep yep! Missed you David but YOU’RE BACK!

Brooke (5703) – I never realized ND wrote “I’m A Believer”! And I love this song, even in Shrek! But Brooke? She so screwed it up! Was it in the wrong key for her or something? She still had that painful, shaky voice thing that worked for last but didn’t for this week! Yuck man. Seriously, she’s actually here and Carly isn’t???? Sheesh.

David A (5704) – he took two very, very high profile songs of ND for his performances; the first being Sweet Caroline. I did a symbolic rolling of the eyes when I realized his choice. But you know what? He changed it enough to make it his own! And of course his rendition and voice was beautiful. Good job Little David!

Syesha (5705) – “Hello Again” in one of my favorite songs. A little concerned……will I like it? YES! Her voice was MUCH bigger on this song than I remember and I actually liked it, even with the Whitney-esk ending.

Side note: Paula cracks me up! Hello, there has only been ONE SONG DONE SO FAR! So where the heck are you getting “The first song was okay but the second was not so good….” etc.???? Give her some more tequila!

Second Songs:

Jason – boring, boring, boring. And I don’t think it was well executed, either. I can’t vote for him!

David C – I love this guy and am SO GLAD that he is back! I love his voice, I love his renditions of music, I love him. Even Simon loved this song!!! Vote vote vote!

Brooke – she sucks and needs to go home. Seriously. I am sick of her, although she sounded a LITTLE better during the chorus. CARLY WHERE ARE YOU????? (I am ignoring the judge comments)

David A – I wasn’t sure about this when it first started…..but he pulled it off! I liked it and I want him to do well, even though I want David C to win.

Syesha – I liked it! more than I have in the past and you know I’ve called her as going home……

Okay, a little back pedaling…..

I posted from Lamentations earlier, and I found some comfort in verses 56-66 of Lamentations 3, for in my personal situation I yearned for my enemies to feel pain just as they have caused me unfair pain.  I pictured my enemies being struck down or at least smacked around by God.  But you know what?  Lamentations was pre-grace and if I truly want those that are persecuting me to suffer, than I am no better than them!  I need to accept Christ’s grace for me AND for them, and I need to LOVE THEM no matter what!  This proves to be much more difficult than to picture them in pain and even embarrassed by their judgments.  But, is that Christ-like?  So, I believe the Holy Spirit is leading me to see the errors of my view on this and has reminded me how Christ wants me to be.  So, I humbly submit the following verses and pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me in this attitude.

Matthew 5:38-48 (NIV)

An Eye for an Eye

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Love for Enemies

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Crying Out….

Lamentations Chapter 3 (NIV)

Per Clarke’s commentary: “The prophet, by enumerating his own severe trials, 1-20, and showing his trust in God, 21, encourages his people to the like resignation and trust in the Divine and never-failing mercy, 22-27. He vindicates the goodness of God in all his dispensations, and the unreasonableness of murmuring under them, 28-39. He recommends self-examination and repentancs; and then, from their experience of former deliverances from God, encourages them to look for pardon for their sins, and retribution to their enemies, 40-66.

1 I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of his wrath.

2 He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;

3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.

4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
and has broken my bones.

5 He has besieged me and surrounded me
with bitterness and hardship.

6 He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.

7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
he has weighed me down with chains.

8 Even when I call out or cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer.

9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
he has made my paths crooked.

10 Like a bear lying in wait,
like a lion in hiding,

11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me
and left me without help.

12 He drew his bow
and made me the target for his arrows.

13 He pierced my heart
with arrows from his quiver.

14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;
they mock me in song all day long.

15 He has filled me with bitter herbs
and sated me with gall.

16 He has broken my teeth with gravel;
he has trampled me in the dust.

17 I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.

18 So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.

29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.

30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

34 To crush underfoot
all prisoners in the land,

35 to deny a man his rights
before the Most High,

36 to deprive a man of justice—
would not the Lord see such things?

37 Who can speak and have it happen
if the Lord has not decreed it?

38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?

39 Why should any living man complain
when punished for his sins?

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD.

41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:

42 “We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.

43 “You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.

44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.

45 You have made us scum and refuse
among the nations.

46 “All our enemies have opened their mouths
wide against us.

47 We have suffered terror and pitfalls,
ruin and destruction.”

48 Streams of tears flow from my eyes
because my people are destroyed.

49 My eyes will flow unceasingly,
without relief,

50 until the LORD looks down
from heaven and sees.

51 What I see brings grief to my soul
because of all the women of my city.

52 Those who were my enemies without cause
hunted me like a bird.

53 They tried to end my life in a pit
and threw stones at me;

54 the waters closed over my head,
and I thought I was about to be cut off.

55 I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit.

56 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief.”

57 You came near when I called you,
and you said, “Do not fear.”

58 O Lord, you took up my case;
you redeemed my life.

59 You have seen, O LORD, the wrong done to me.
Uphold my cause!

60 You have seen the depth of their vengeance,
all their plots against me.

61 O LORD, you have heard their insults,
all their plots against me-

62 what my enemies whisper and mutter
against me all day long.

63 Look at them! Sitting or standing,
they mock me in their songs.

64 Pay them back what they deserve, O LORD,
for what their hands have done.

65 Put a veil over their hearts,
and may your curse be on them!

66 Pursue them in anger and destroy them
from under the heavens of the LORD.

Biblical Thoughts…..

1 Corinthians 13


If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Matthew 16:5-12

The Yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees

When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.”

Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

Matthew 23

Seven Woes

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

“Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.’

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ‘teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.

“Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? You also say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gift on it, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? Therefore, he who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And he who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. And he who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers!

“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation.

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.'”

All verses NIV

Amazing how different my boys are!

Well, I know they are different; partly personality and partly due to their ages.  But they SO crack my up!  Josh has recently taken on some mannerisms of Kenny that I find endearing, and Kenny is going through the “I am about to be a teenager so I have to be cool, but I don’t want to be a jerk” stage.  Both are fun to watch.

As an example of their differences, here are two pictures.  They were taken on the first day of school since coming back to California.  Both were a little nervous because it was a new school and they would have to make new friends, etc.  So I go, “Josh!  I need to take your picture because its the first day of school!”

Josh - First Day of School

I did the same thing to Kenny, and here is HIS picture:

Kenny - First Day of School

This was AFTER Kenny lectured me, “Mom… KNOW how first impressions are!  DO NOT do anything to embarrass me because the kids will remember you and they will be saying ‘Kenny is the one with the crazy mom!'”

Yeah, they sure are different, but I LOVE THEM!

American Idol Results – Whoa There! – And other Crazy History

Okay, what the heck? CARLY WENT HOME?!?!!?!!? BROOKE AND JASON ARE STILL THERE????? Whoa there! I am shocked, shocked, shocked. My friend Aaron was jokingly saying there would be an upset and Carly would go home – I blame him!

As many of you know, I am an avid reader, especially on the internet. I came across this crazy history and thought I’d share.

The Salem Witch Trials (taken from this site)

The events which led to the Witch Trials actually occurred in what is now the town of Danvers, then a parish of Salem Town, known as Salem Village. Launching the hysteria was the bizarre, seemingly inexplicable behavior of two young girls; the daughter, Betty, and the niece, Abigail Williams, of the Salem Village minister, Reverend Samuel Parris.

The Witch House

The Witch House

The Witch House

In February, 1692, three accused women were examined by Magistrates Jonathan Corwin and John Hathorne. Corwin’s home, known as the Witch House, still stands at the corner of North and Essex Streets in Salem, providing guided tours and tales of the first witchcraft trials. John Hathorne, an ancestor of author Nathaniel Hawthorne, is buried in the Charter Street Old Burying Point.

By the time the hysteria had spent itself, 24 people had died. Nineteen were hanged on Gallows Hill in Salem Town, but some died in prison. Giles Corey at first pleaded not guilty to charges of witchcraft, but subsequently refused to stand trial. This refusal meant he could not be convicted legally. However, his examiners chose to subject him to interrogation by the placing of stone weights on his body. He survived this brutal torture for two days before dying.

It is remarkable 552 original documents pertaining to the witchcraft trials have been preserved and are still stored by the Peabody Essex Museum.

Eerie memorabilia associated with the trials, such as the “Witch Pins” used in the examination of witches and a small bottle supposed to contain the finger bones of the victim George Jacobs can be found in the Clerk’s Office in the Essec Superior Court House, Salem.

Some quotes of those who were hanged:

Elizabeth Howe “If it was the last moment I was to live, God knows I am innocent…”
Rebecca Nurse “Oh Lord, help me! It is false. I am clear. For my life now lies in your hands….”

For a more comprehensive history, check this site out:

Wikipedia Salem Witch Trials

Sorry for the random post. Oh wait, this is Just Rambling, so I guess randomness works! I leave you with this questions, “what would YOU do if you were accused of being a witch in a time when the accusation was all that was really needed?”

American Idol – So What do I think THIS WEEK?

Here are my notes for this week. Key: ALW = Andrew Lloyd Webber. And special mention to my friend who is getting really good at texting me her reactions to the show!!!!

Syesha : this was the first time I completely enjoyed her. She did an amazing job with the ALW song, which I have never heard before. She was alive, on key, entertaining, and ALIVE on the stage. I loved it. Gotta vote for her.

Jason: Singing “Memories” is a tough song for anyone to sing, and ALW was right that he shouldn’t have done it. He did an alright job…..everything was good except the bridge – those low notes just threw him around a little. He was sexy, especially in his casual suit, but I don’t know how far it will take him this week. I think there would have been dozens of songs he could have chosen besides this one. No votes from me OR my friend. Hmmmmmmm.

Brooke; she sang one of my favorite songs, “You Must Love Me”……and for the second time this season, she messed up the start. Was this another “professional” moment for her? You might think I’m about to dog her…..but she actually did a wonderful rendition of this song. She sounded in pain, I felt her anguish. She actually sounded good to me, even though I was waiting to be disappointed by a poor rendition. Although, I admit Simon had some good points. I didn’t like her enough to vote for her.”

David A: “Think of Me” Tough song to choose, especially for a guy! But you know what??? FREAKING AMAZING! I want to buy it, I want to listen to it over and over again. Randy was right, David put his touches in the song and he SOUNDED GOOD! It was amazingly wonderful. Yep, voting for this one!

Carly: “Superstar” WAS the perfect song for her……you go ALW! Oh My Freaking Word!!!!! Holy crap people! I love this musical and she ROCKED this one! I think she made it her own and she freaking sounded AWESOME! Even Simon agreed (although my friend called the fact that he would mention the “shouting”). Yep, gotta vote for her.

David C: Remember, he is my favorite. “Music of the Night” was maybe not the best choice for him. The whole song I was thinking how Michael Crawford would be so sad by this rendition. My friends liked this rendition, but you know what? I didn’t feel it at all! I think he did alright, but I was bored and felt BAD for Michael Crawford! You know what, I think I am actually not going to vote for him this week! A first. (But my friend loved it and voted for him!)

Bottom three for this week – Jason, Brooke, and David C (gasp!). I think Brooke is going home. We shall see! Stay tuned!

The sun is still shining…..

Yesterday I shared about how God blessed me through my son, Kenny. Well, I am going to try to focus on the other blessings God has put into my life instead of seeing things like I usually do… dwelling on the things that are painful or unfair or wrong in my life.

So, let’s begin, in no particular order:

  • The sun is BEAUTIFUL this morning. It is as if God put it there just for me to feel His warmth and love.
  • Sitting here with my coffee, writing this blog, surrounded by my family, I am so content.
  • Am I sad? Yes, aspects of me are sad. But they are normal and they are real and I do not need to be afraid to admit it anymore.
  • My kids are wonderful. My ex-husband is wonderful. My ex-in-laws are wonderful. I am not sure how these latter two changed to dramatically, but I appreciate them in my life. UPDATE: this comment/bullet point has NOTHING to do with anyone else besides me. I am seeing them for who they are, who they always have been, and it does not relate to anyone else but them. And these are not people who have an agenda against me or anyone else.
  • My friends are there for me, not just for emotional support, but they appreciate me for who I am – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and love me completely. True friends love, even when you share with them your failures. I am blessed with several who fit this mark. And they also tell me the tough stuff out of love. My friends are amazing.
  • My Dad and Ellie are wonderful. Tough times exist, but true family fits back into the “right” place as if nothing has changed. They hug you, they listen, they support, and they love. And I have that, and I am truly blessed by it.
  • Again, my kids are an elixir I just can’t stop thinking about. The happiness that shows in their eyes, the feel of their hugs or just witnessing their silliness…..I am blessed.
  • UPDATE: outside circumstances hurt me, outside attacks taint me, and outside words attempt to crucify my spirit (even if cloaked under the premise of love). And some filter through and hit my core, this is true. But they cannot diminish the blessings that surround me. These aspects can keep trying to tear me down while claiming their devotion to me, and I CANNOT CONTROL THAT, but hear me – believe me…….THEY DO NOT CONTROL ME. I am prepared to lose everything I hold dear (especially how others view my character), and yet I will remain blessed. And, for that, I am at peace.

I am a bit sad today. As I said, that’s okay. But I am blessed, and these blessings are not contrived. They are not there to “force” me to be happy. As my good friend Martin reminds me, “Truth is truth.” And, he’s right!