Words

WORDS……

Words have the power to uplift and the power to destroy.  Anger, in response to destructive words, never make things better.  Human qualities are so WOEFUL and PATHETIC.

So what am I most sad/angry about?  The actions of others or those of myself?  How much should I own and how much is based on a lie that seems to spread more quickly than fire?  Why do people find it easier to believe in dramatic nonsense than things based on fact?  Facts, I guess, are too boring.  Why can whole lives be crumbled to nothing in one brief moment – one brief collection of words?  And why does the kiss of death touch so many people that really shouldn’t even be involved?

Yet how can I measure my response to the crap that surrounds me?  Did I act with wisdom?  With humility?  With honor?  And if I answer no to any of these, does that make the lie become the truth?  I would hope not, but am finding out that my humanness, perhaps even my very emotions, are now being used to validate words that really have no merit.  And that is much worse than the lie itself.

So again, what should I own?  I can own that I made bad choices, that I altered my gut by making bad decisions.  That I reacted to words in a way that was  inappropriate.  I reacted and was not prudent.  I used language that I am not proud of.  Yet I am not completely guilty.  I do not accept that my lack of wisdom or bad decisions in the past automatically mean I am guilty of everything I might be accused of.  And yet, that’s where I am today.

Words……….

I am not so sure…..

….what to write.  Deep thoughts are going through my mind and I am not sure how to share them in this venue.  Do I “go deep”, or do I try to summarize?

Decisions, decision.

So, I will have to distract myself…..

Justin, my love….


Here is my beloved Justin – yes, I still love him!

Dad and Gina 1968


Here is me and my Dad, circa 1968

Kirstie 2008


Here is Kirstie

Truth.

Words

This is going to be a short post!

Words are very powerful – they can edify and they can tear someone down. I have been on both ends of that spectrum.

Proverbs 18:21
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

And I take great comfort in the following:

Proverbs 12:19
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Many of you may have been exposed to words about me. I will not defend myself nor acknowledge the details of those words. But all I ask is that you pray about the words and consider them before deciding their worth.

Thanks

Tuesday

Aunt Kay – hope this font is better for you!  Let me know!

Many of you – especially the ones who WORK with me – know that I don’t really like Mondays. I am a little cranky on Mondays. I whine a lot and grumble. But, today is TUESDAY!

So what does that mean? Today I go to work and we present loans to our committee. Could be good, could be bad. I used to have Taco Tuesday lunches, but that has changed I am sure, as many things are different now. I will probably have worship practice after work and will look forward to playing the drums, but not be too excited about getting to work at 7:30 the following morning to play for staff meeting. I think I watch American Idol on Tuesdays.

So, hence, this blog shows you how very BORING my Tuesdays are! Maybe I should place them in the same place as Mondays?

Last night was awesome, for a Monday! My friend and her boyfriend made a SUPERB dinner for me and invited my kids! So I had a few friends and my kids and nothing could make me more happy! We played Guitar Hero – where Kirstie has mad skills! She taught us a few things. Us old folks tried to play expert a few times and survived, but not very well. And the boys did very well, too! Josh actually beat some of us!!!! Kenny is cool too – he is more low key as he’s almost 13 and has to be cool, but he rocked, too. Josh also taught us how to do that Soldier Boy dance and we looked VERY hip, I am sure. Except we couldn’t really pull off the gangster faces. LOL

The night, even for a Monday, was WONDERFUL! I have to focus on the parts that bless me and ignore the day they fall on I guess!

Kenny was doodling last night and when I walked up he hid the paper he had. I asked what it was and this is what he had written (although he said it was for him and not for me to see….):

“Mom & Dad are the greatest parents I could ever have. I would die if they were not my parents. They are truly the greatest parents in the WORLD.”

I know it was self serving to post that note here, but some of you know where Kenny is coming from and how much that note blessed me – not only for the words, but for what they represent!

So that, my friends, is what I have to focus on TODAY! TUESDAY!

Life is……Amazing

The title has two connotations – it’s enthralling, and surprising. I will focus on the surprising part first.

Life is SUPRISING

It’s bad enough when you realize at some point – or maybe after several “points” – that there are aspects in your life that aren’t as they seem. Like your reflection in the mirror doesn’t match how you see yourself, or the age on your license doesn’t match how you feel. In my case, today has been surprising in that I knew someone who acted completely different than I expected. And for that, my heart is breaking. I am sorry that I am being exposed to a side I never knew, and I am sorry that the side even exists. Life is sometimes…..surprising.

Life is AMAZING

But my life is not measured in sadness alone. Today, on the eve of Easter, I am reminded that I have a life in Christ, who died for me on the cross. I have a new life that is apart from the drama, the pain, the day-to-day gunk that sometimes takes my focus and energy. I can lean on Him when storms rage or when the sea is calm. I can rejoice that the entire world can turn against me, yet He remains. His creation surrounds me and comforts me, and I find it…….AMAZING.

May you also find this peace in Jesus Christ. I highly recommend it!

Truth

Truth is wonderful and survives even when lies or stories float in the air, it remains true. Given today is Good Friday, I thought I’d focus on the power of truth!

“Truth is generally the best vindication against slander.” Abraham Lincoln

“We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.” Blaise Pascal

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.” Daniel Patrick Moynihan

“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem

“One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.” Maya Angelou

Good Friday Quotes

And in the article of death, as He saw the last fold of the grand design unrolled, He passed out of the world with the cry on His lips, “It is finished!” He uttered this cry as a soldier might do on the battlefield, who perceives, with the last effort of consciousness, that the struggle in which he has sacrificed his life has been a splendid victory. But the triumph and the reward of His work never come to an end; for still, as the results of what He did unfold themselves age after age, as His words sink deeper into the minds of men, as His influence changes the face of the world, and as heaven fills with those whom He has redeemed, “He shall see of the travail of His soul, and shall be satisfied.”

James Stalker

I have been PUNKED!!!!

Yes, you read it here first……I have been punked, and it wasn’t a silly trick. It took time, talent, and patience. It took extreme intelligence, and most importantly – VILLAINOUS THOUGHT! I am completely humbled not only by those who thought of it, but by the perfect execution of it!

Let me explain!

Last week I was in two LOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG days of software training. I stopped at my desk a couple times on day one to complain how boring it was, etc. Drama at its finest. Then, I can’t remember if it was on the first day or the second, I came back to my desk and most everything was turned over. My stapler, my tape dispenser, my pictures – you name it, it was turned over. My first thought was, “How cute, but somewhat amateurish.” But overall, I felt loved that they would play a trick on me, the office trickster.

What surprised me, however, was the lack of……fanfare. I made a few comments and really didn’t get the reaction I was expecting. Of course, the game says you need to deny knowing who did it and deny being involved – that goes without saying. But usually the game calls for hovering, teasing, pointing out missing or altered items, denial…..it’s a whole play really. This was not happening. I quietly turned over my items, said a few comments, and it kind of stayed there.

I don’t know when I noticed, but I realized that my Gambino (cousin of Gumby) was missing. “So THAT’s it!” I thought. Okay, I can play that game – I won’t say anything just to kill them a little. Then, after that didn’t work I mention to someone (Liz?) that I knew he was missing but whatever. No reaction. So then I was like, “these people really don’t know what they’re doing – obviously I need to teach them the way to play this game! They are too……boring!”

So I went forward with other things – drama at home, drama at work, too busy to really notice anything or put more energy in this. And I truly thought – maybe if I just ignore the fact that Gambino was missing, they will buckle under the pressure and tell me.

One thing I failed to mentioned – last week I bought three boxes of Girl Scout Cookies, which I had forgotten to bring home for several days. Last night I finally remembered; I brought them home, put them on the counter, and told Deana she could take the disgusting ones I bought for her to work. That was that.

Hours passed – did homework, paid bills, watched TV. Another friend stopped by and saw the cookies. “Oh,” she says, “I love Girl Scout cookies! Can I have one? The peanut butter sandwiches are my favorite.” Me, being so nice and generous, said, “Of course, they’re my favorite too! Let’s have some!”

I opened the box – you know, they’re the kind that you pull the tab that is pre-punched…..I open it, and out comes……MY BOX OF MILK DUDS?!!?!!?!!? The ones that used to be on my desk at work??? The ones I didn’t even notice were missing???? WHAT???

I open the next box – again, pull the tab – the one that you can’t pull and then can’t put back on – and out comes Gambino!

I open the third, and there comes my 5 year anniversary pen and pencil set!

But, more importantly – WHERE ARE MY FREAKING COOKIES?!?!!!?!!?

Oh, don’t think that my friend who wanted the cookies was innocent – she was an accomplice in this for sure!

But I have to say, without hesitation, I was wrong about y’all being boring! YOU DID THE PERFECT PUNK – HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER!

LIZ – My mentorship of you is complete! You kept a straight face, didn’t even look guilty, and pulled this off perfectly!

CAT – you too – I commend you for not giving away this perfect trick, even after days of delay.

EILEEN – I am assuming you were involved with this somehow! And I thought you were so innocent! BAH! You are officially a full-fledged member of the team now!

RONA – you are a butthead. A real butthead. But kudos.

ALL OF YOU – I give you major kudos for THINKING of it, IMPLEMENTING it, and HIDING it! Nice job on the boxes too – while I know now how you did it, there was no indication that you had messed with any of them. Superb.

Now, WHERE ARE MY COOKIES!!!!!!!

Update on poo poo and other messes

Okay, interesting title, huh? Yeah, I’m in one of those moods! 😛

Update on the post office. Went to a local office and fixed the forwarding order from my old house in California, so hopefully that works. They couldn’t help me with the forwarding issues FROM Texas, and suggested I contact Frisco again. So I did…..they said THEY HAD NO RECORD OF THE FORWARDING ORDER!!!!! Yes, you might remember me mentioning last week that they CONFIRMED OUR FORWARDING ORDER and suggested there was an issue on the California end. Dun dun dun. You’d be proud, there was no “going postal” or cussing. In any case, I am sending in updated orders tomorrow. Sigh.

While I am excited to be in my MBA program, the first class has been…..well…..kind of a waste of my time. The book is outdates, the material is not new to me, and the teacher is VERY nice, but well……not that great of a teacher. I technically have 1 1/2 more weeks but am anxious for it to be over. I have heard the next class I am taking will be very different.

I am feeling better – covered that – but I think that I haven’t shared about my ear. As an adult, I have had several ear infections in both ears, but more so in my left ear. Years and years ago I had such a bad one, my eardrum burst. It was very painful, as you can imagine. Anyway, about six months ago I noticed that I had a harder time hearing from my left ear – nothing dramatic, but I would use my right ear on the phone or, if I were laying down watching TV, I would need to make sure my right ear was not covered. I went to see a specialist and he said it could be any factor of things – scar tissue, nerve damage etc.

So I went for a hearing test last week. It was determined that my left ear DID have hearing loss (nerve related) where I had lost high end hearing. It’s not bad enough to need a hearing aid or anything, but it is advanced enough to notice the difference between my ears and I find myself turning my “good” ear often. So, yeah, I need to be careful of loud music in the car! 😉 And I need to be careful when banging on my drums!

So that’s about it for me right now. If I think of something else, I will let you know!