Hello Again, Hello

So I have neglected you, I know. And it makes me want to spring out in song, warbling Neil Diamond’s song from “The Jazz Singer”…..

“Hello again, hello. Just called to say: hello. I couldn’t sleep at all tonight And I know it’s late, but I couldn’t wait. Hello..

Well, except it’s early in the morning, I really COULD sleep and resent a bit that I have to get up to get ready for work, and who calls nowadays? LOL Yeah, crazy.

But anyway, I am alive – although this blog would not be a strong indication of that. I need to post my annual reference to Josh as well, who turned TEN on 9/20. TEN! Sheesh! How the heck did THAT happen? And I guess there have been lots of analysis on life, God, and relationships running through my head, so I can feel there is a serious blog or two coming soon……but that comes later…….

I have been sick (kidney infection followed by head cold), traveling (Oklahoma City for work and Paris, Arkansas with the fam), working (well THAT ebbs and flows, you know?), playing the drums at church, watching football (except I fell asleep with 2 minutes left of the Bears/GB game SERIOUSLY), watching the kids play sports (Zack/Soph soccer and Kenny baseball), texting/skyping with Kirstie as she moved from California to Nebraska, and somehow always feeling like I am behind the eight ball or lacking sleep. Not sure why that is. 🙂

I REALLY hope I can have ONE weekend where I actually can do NOTHING, but yeah that’s probably not gonna happen soon. I will manage though.

So what’s new with you, my 2.78 readers? Drop me a comment sometime. And with that, I am changing the song to “Goodbye, My Friend, Goodbye!”

Could it be? Is it she?

It is with awe and amazement that I sit here early today, pondering the fact that my baby girl has turned 20 – and since she was born at 2:40am, she truly has!  I remember that day like yesterday, the fact that Kirstie made me a mom, and the wonder and joy I felt when I heard her cry for the first time.  Those feeling have only become stronger over the years as I watched that infant turn into the wonderful woman that she is today!

Kirstie has redish blonde hair when she was very young, as you can see from this picture that was taken when she was 18 months old.  You can also see that she inherited the curly hair Edgar and I both have (and which she’s very good at straightening out today!).  Even at a young age, Kirstie was extremely inquisitive and able to sit for HOURS pouring over pictures, books, magazine – ANYTHING that she could investigate.  And she ALWAYS loved to dance, even before she could walk!

As Kirstie grew older, her hair became VERY blonde, especially intriguing since she carries Mexican blood!  But her Grandma Jan’s genes are pretty strong!  🙂  I loved the fact that Kirstie was very attached to me her first 4 or 5 years; we were often inseperable.  She would sing, read, be goofy with me……..it was great.

We usually call this pic the “Josh with long hair” picture, but it’s Kirstie.  She was always making friends, talking up a storm, and loved doing doing doing.  I guess she’s still that way, huh?  I never really had to stay on top of her at school, either, because she did her work (remember the inquisitive nature?) and usually did well in school.  She also showed signed of musical talent at a young age – maybe it was all those years of being around the worship band?

Alas, despite my threats to beat her if she kept growing up, today she is twenty.  TWENTY.  I don’t know how that happened!  I look back with fondness at the years behind me and have so many clear images of this girl – ah, to imagine that they add up to two decades!  And yet, I would be remiss if I didn’t say those years have filled my soul with such love and joy!  I look at her, hear her share stories or vent or plan her life, and am continually blessed to know she is AMAZING!  She is real, she is smart, she is a doer…….but most of all, SHE IS MY DAUGHTER!  She is going to do MORE amazing things in her life, it’s really only the beginning, and yet I sit in wonder ponding this amazing woman who is also my beloved DAUGHTER.

So, while many of these ruminations are for me alone, please join me in celebrating a fantastic human life, twenty years of amazement – HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRSTIE!  I love you VERY much!

And just in case you’ve not heard her sing, check this out:


P.S.  She is also VERY good on XBox 360 (those killing games, but hey, I don’t want to sound old) and can type nearly 80wpm using pretty much two fingers.  IMPRESSIVE if not trivial.

Lying Does Not Behoove You

Everyone lies, let’s face it.  There are times when someone asks how they look in an outfit or if they look fat, etc – THOSE are the times when I’d probably suggest the truth may not always be optimal.  Or, in situations such as those who lied to the Nazis to protect innocent Jews.  Commendable.

However, we humans seem to be able to lie about pretty much anything, especially if it is to make ourselves look better or to cover our butts.  For example, have you ever lied about traffic on the way to work to explain why you were late instead of admitting you totally overslept?  Or you “suggest” that you have way more money in the bank than you do, or maybe buy things on credit that you can’t really afford just to appear successful.

“What?!” you ask, “you’re telling me THAT is lying?!?!!?!”  Yes, yes I am .

I don’t mean to JUDGE per se, for pete sakes I have done both of the above – if not recently, but does that matter?  I am a liar, I have lied (based on the above) on many occasions in my life.  So please take this post a an analysis of sorts more than a judgment of you or anyone else.

Why do we do this?  Why do we pretend to be something or someone we’re not?  Why do we choose to lie about silly things like being late instead of taking the consequence for mistakes, even it we didn’t intend to oversleep?  Why do we think we have to tell people what they want to hear in hopes of being accepted by them instead of telling the truth and seeing where the chips fall?  And why do “little lies” fall right off our backs day after day with no thought or guilt or pondering?

The last point is what concerns me the most.  And yet we parents tell our kids that they need to tell the truth, even as we model a whole different world…….

Yesterday, a friend acknowledged a very BIG truth about themselves that had attached to it A LOT of room for many of us to reject him.  He took a huge stand to have integrity, to live in the truth.  And you know what happened?  Well, nothing.  We accepted his truth, we didn’t stop loving him, in fact (for me) it made me love him a bit more.  And that got me to thinking – do I REALLY think the truth really brings shame?  Really?  NO!  I do admit that many people can’t handle the truth, and have lost many “a friend” who have heard of my homosexuality.  I still get told on occasion that I can’t be gay AND a Christian.  Alas, I am reminded that living in THE TRUTH is WAY better than lying to anyone, especially those that only loved me because I fit the mold they wanted me to live in.

So, anyway, I better get ready for work.  Don’t want to be late, especially since I’d have to tell them I am was writing a blog about honesty instead of getting ready and then, well…………

Gina OUT.