What is Destiny, and What If It Goes Away?

I have had my turns with Destiny.  I have faced Her directly and I have also ran into her when I wasn’t paying attention.  Per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, destiny is “a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency”.

Well, I have faced destiny many times and, for many years, I held to the thought that my destiny was such:

  • To be used by God in all that I do.
  • To be a loving and honorable daughter, always held in esteem especially with my father
  • To be a wonderful wife
  • To be a success professional

I guess those look more like GOALS than items of destiny.  But for many years I truly thought those items WERE my destiny!  So what happens when I fall OUT of that destiny?  What if I don’t feel God using me?  What if the reactions of my parents indicate I am not longer their loving and honorable daughter?  What happens when I get divorced?  What if my career falls apart?

Well, some people like me might try to get things rolling by seeing a professional.  They may even be VERY specific about telling me what my destiny is, perhaps even straight out telling me where I need to be, how things will fall into place, with whom, and everything.  Yes, I am talking about a psychic.  Yeah, it gets all exciting when all that info runs through your head and you think of the possibilities and the great news up ahead.  But that, too, is not destiny and it is always foolish to buy in to such shenanigans to form your future steps or to act a certain way.  Believe me, some of the things I was told gave me a sense of hope and excitement and I fell pretty hard when I figured out it was bogus.   So, epic fail.  (For my 2.78 readers, especially Christians, no need to get on your horses of disdain at this point.)

So, after a year of reflection, soul searching, and research, I realized an amazing thing – I have no freaking control, really.  I am not even sure Destiny exists!  But instead, there are some truths I have under-covered:

  • I am a beautifully made individual.  I have the love of my God, who will not forsake me.  He doesn’t need me to accomplish anything.  And the very moment I learned that, I think I became much more useful to Him!
  • I do not need the (expressed) love of my parents or their acceptance to love them back.  Whether or not they see the honor I extend to them with my very life, it does not make it not exist.  And I will walk each day doing my best to carry in my actions this love for them in every facet of my life.  And I do so with great appreciation for them, especially my father.
  • Yes, my first marriage failed.  It is too complicated to accept all blame.  But that will not mean my new marriage will be a failure, or that history will repeat itself.  I am hard pressed to acknowledge I am not perfect (gasp!) but will, with the love I hold for my spouse, walk in that love and yearn to be the best I can be.
  • I have realized I put too much of my identity in the career I hold.  While I will always do my best, work my hardest, and always yearn to improve, my job is NOT my identity.  It really never was either, but I was too silly to realize that.
  • My real destiny, if such thing exist, is to love my God and love my neighbor.  Easier said than done!  But heck, at least I can focus my efforts.

Having been on tons of drugs to address the bronchitis, ear infection, and the beginnings of a sinus infection I have (which really started 12/30/09, can you imagine?) I think I should end this blog entry now.  Whew, typing is pretty darn hard!

Anger Through Writing

Some of my long-term readers know that sometimes I vent a lot here.  Maybe not as much as I used to (I have been accussed of “airing laundry” on this site), but I still rant and rave now and then.  So, when I saw this cartoon today on my New Yorker desk calendar, I thought, “Wow, that’s me!” and got a nice chuckle out of it.  So, I thought I’d share with you, too!  Enjoy.

Inside Scoop on the State of Texas

Okay, so let me start by saying I don’t hate Texas.  In fact, I am loving that there is no freaking state income tax and that I haven’t paid above $2.60 a gallon for gasoline.  The fact that I love my job is cool, too.  So, first, let me share some more positives:

  • People are often more polite; when you talk to them, they are usually very kind and even gregarious.  Often, when you’re driving in neighborhoods, strangers wave to you as you pass by.
  • Parents have more say in regards to their children’s schooling.  And the schools overall are fantastically run.
  • Having gone to Zack’s school program last week, I am amazed at how proud Texans are of their state.  They pledge allegiance to the State Flag.  They even have a State Song that the kids know by heart!  Wow, that never happened in California!

But now, some insight that is a bit more negative.

  • Texas is weak in the whole “melting pot” arena.  I just don’t mean races (although, I have to admit, it is a LITTLE more diverse than I expected….), but more in other areas.  For example, in California you would see people wearing jerseys for all sorts of teams from all over the country.  Jets fan?  No problem.  Bears fan?  Bring it.  Here?  NO WAY!  You can’t even freaking BUY a jersey from a non-Texas team around here!  And let me tell you, being a Vikings fan can be dangerous in Cowboys territory!  It just was a little sad that there is SO MUCH tied around sports…..and I am not exaggerating – there is real hatred here towards anyone who doesn’t worship Dallas or Texas teams.
  • Texas drivers are MEAN!  Seriously.  And it’s not just because I have California plates – this happened when I was driving Mom’s car, too.  They make Valley and LA drivers look like wimps!  They tailgate, even when there is so much traffic you can’t do anything about it.  They cut you off.  They slam on their brakes.  They are just plain horribly mean!  Hard to align that with the happiness that is often shared when speaking with them in person.
  • I think there is a state law that you have to be republican to live here.  Not sure yet about that……

I have run out of time, but will try to add more details later.  And for those who are truly curious, I HAVE picked up a twang here and there, although I’ve been trying hard to avoid it!  The other day I was talking about work to Deana and I said something about missing milestones……she swears I said “milestones” like I’ve lived here my entire life!  I nearly spit my gum out!  Dang!

And, I would be remiss to not mention how wonderfully proud of the Vikings I am!  WHOOT WHOOT!  I sat here surrounded by Cowboys fans (although Deana was a Vikings fan, of course!) and was getting the trash talk thrown at me during the first 2 minutes of the game.  But, true to form, my team soon hushed that talk up with an outstanding performance!  I am so glad that I’ve stuck with them even through the lean years and I also appreciate Favre’s talent and strength – even for an old guy!

Next week will be tough – I have also enjoyed watching New Orleans’ year of success after a tough history.  I have rooted for them and hoped for the best.  But, I have to put my admiration aside – my love for the Vikings has been much deeper and longer and my loyalty lies with them!  I DO hope, however, that the game will be more enteraining than the stomping against Dallas!  Hee hee!

Okay, to those I haven’t mentioned by name, I miss you.  More later!  Gina OUT!

Hard Rock Song – Monster

By Skillet.

I saw this band years ago at the Harvest Festival in Anaheim.  iTunes recommended their new album and I have been enthralled since then.  This specific song was in my head when I woke this morning, so I thought I’d revive the song post!  And I ask you, what’s not to love about a band with a girl drummer?!?!!?!  Enjoy!

Why You Should Be Glad I Don’t Rule the World

So, fair warning – if you read this you will be reading another of Gina’s famous rants.  It doesn’t help that I am freaking sick AGAIN and I am tired!  But I am NOT cranky!

  • If you live in a region where the roads get icing, you should be thrown in jail if you tailgate.  Instead of getting a DUI, it will be a TWI – Tailgaiting while icy.  Automatic extension of your sentence of 30 days if the car you were tailgaiting was stuck in traffic – in other words, where the hell did you expect them to go?????
  • If you attend a children’s program at a school that has limited seating, rules will be enforced as such – if there are numerous adults (primarily women and grandmas, although not required) standing in the back, parents are required to put children 5 years and younger on their laps to open up seating.  Children over 12 must offer their seats to the adults and freaking stand in the back.  And NO children will be allowed to play their stupid Gameboys, with sound blasting, during the program!
  • If you are walking through a parking lot, cut through parked cars and walk briskly in front of a car that is driving and didn’t see you, you might get hit.  What happened to looking both ways before crossing?  You WILL be fined if you begin to cuss out the car that almost hit you.
  • People, especially men, who don’t even PRETEND to hold the door open for those walking right behind them, especially in inclimate weather, will be required to wear hot pink shirts for a week.  Even worse, men who expect WOMEN to hold the doors open for them (or OPEN it for them) will be required to wear pantyhose in addition to the shirt.

I just wish people would be a little more aware……and kind……but maybe I am just too much of a romantic.  Or a democrat.  You decide.

I need to get this butt ready for work, so Gina is OUT.  Shout out to my California friends, who I really miss right now.  I really miss the warm weather, too.  And I really miss the ocean.  But don’t tell Kenny that part – he is still mourning the fact he can’t surf.

Peace out (as Torie would say!)

Oops, Still No Recap?

…….and other confessions!

First, special shout out to Kate, who I imagine is dealing with much colder weather than poor little me in Dallas!  Thanks for taking the time to comment, my friend!

So, 2010 has taken off with a bang!  I have been working hard at the new job and loving it!  I had set a goal to be able to bill 10% of my time the first two periods, and one week in I am nearly at 20%.  For those of you who have worked with me, you know how important this is to me.  I have only needed to bug Joe two times and I am happy about that.  The person who has been a huge support to me, Cary, will be gone all next week at a client site, so I hope it runs as smoothly!

Over the new year I was battling the flu, however.  Tough, but at least I have three solid days to pretend to be alive as I laid in bed pretty much nonstop.  Hence, excuse #1 as to why I have not done the 2009 recap as of yet.

This weekend Kirstie is visiting and, therefore, I have not spent tons of time on my computer.  As I am still a morning person, I may be able to pull that off this morning as she sleeps away, but I make no further promises so I don’t fail here, too.

But ultimately, life is good…..even if it’s not perfect.  I still can’t trust some people to be loyal as they will invariably do the very things they promise they won’t; or rely on those whose love I thought would remain forever to last – but having said that, life is still good.  Deana is amazingly helpful day in and day out, my kids bring real joy to my life (but, clearly, I would love them and be blessed by them even if they didn’t), I am exceedingly thankful that I found a job that is amazing and that I love, and life is getting back into a routine.  And, really, once I realized that perfection is not required to reach happiness, the bells went off.  And I am truly happy.

On a side note, this closet techno-geek has been having a blast with her Sony Pocket Reader.  While I have been lusting over the Kindle for a really long time, it happens that Deana didn’t realize you had to buy it online……therefore, as time was running out before my birthday, she ended up getting the Sony version of the eBook reader.  She was concerned that I would be disappointed that it wasn’t the Kindle.  As it turns out, the Sony accepts various formats (as opposed to the Kindle) and I really don’t need a WiFi to download books (which the Kindle offers).  But more importantly, I have been LOVING having the eReader!  I have about 13 books downloaded, as well as several white papers and articles, and can switch between them anytime I want to!  I can throw the reader in my purse or backpack easily, and I have so loved it!  While on very few occasions I miss the feeling of the pages, I have fallen in love with the thing!  And I don’t want to suggest the Kindle is not amazing – I have never used it and really have no comment – but I have to say I really like the Sony version very much and am very thankful for the gift!  Thank you Deana and Kids!

More Info Coming Soon…..

…..and other items my intentions tell me to do, but sometimes never appear!

I realized yesterday that I hadn’t put together my Year End Recap.  I obviously will not make it by today, but I DO plan on doing something here this weekend.  So for my thousands of readers…….well, maybe that’s an overstatement…….stay tuned!

Message to Nancy G. – girl, just come clean and admit you’re not dead.  No need to try to get to me through bogus comments or fake FB people.  Tell me what you’ve been up to.  Tell me, are you working on the reservation or are they so big they have their own internet company that provides you service?  What can I do to you now?  Even if I had the means to kick your a$$, I wouldn’t.

Anyway, today is Joe’s last day.  He’s the guy I am replacing.  I don’t think I’ve described him in detail here……making a note to do that this weekend, too.  But now I must get ready for work!

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

Gina OUT

So, What’s Up with Gina?

Where to begin!  So much has happened in a short amount of time, it’s hard to even have enough recall to post anything here that isn’t dizzying!  But, I will try!

Probably as no surprise to my regular readers, Dupar’s was getting worse and the owner was escalating his questionable behaviors. I can’t really get into the details of it, but I left on 11/20 knowing pretty much I will never be paid again from them.  It went south from there, but I was determined to focus on the positive things that had been scheduled in my life; an important celebration, Thanksgiving, and my trip to England and Scotland with Deana.  I was freaking out on many levels, but kept that at bay at least through the listed items.   (On a good note, BB kind of acknowledges the crap I put up with because he is paying for my insurance through February, which I do appreciate very much!)

About a month before this all happened, Edgar asked if I would be willing to move to Texas. I was agreeable, but said I would not until my lease was up at the end of July. I gave him permission to move earlier with the boys if he needed to (he has been struggling financially due to the CA economy). With the change of my job situation, I contacted my landlord and said I needed to break the lease, that I would be moving to Texas by the end of the year. The day before Thanksgiving, I sent out 5 resumes to Texas companies, just to get my feet wet. For comparison, I had sent over 300 resumes out in CA over the previous 8 weeks, with only 5 calls back and the offers were pathetic. Anyway, before even boarding the plane to London that Friday (the day after Thanksgiving), I had one interview set up. In Scotland, I received a call for another! So I had two interviews scheduled for the week after I returned from my trip.

Long story short, I got the job I wanted in Texas! I have been here in Texas since one day after returning from Scotland and Deana has been frantically packing in my absence. Edgar’s last day of work was 12/15 and he will be leaving after Christmas (which is when I originally had planned on driving out).  I started my new job 12/15 and on the first day went to Oklahoma for an on-site client trip!  I was in Oklahoma for four days, drove back to Dallas on that Friday, then flew to LA early Saturday morning…..only to turn around and drive over the weekend with Deana, Kenny, Zack and Sophia back to Texas. Josh chose to drive out with Edgar. Kirstie is staying in California to finish school and then who knows what will happen.  We are staying for a few months with Deana’s Mom, who has a big house, and hope to settle down once I get my savings back up.

Christmas was a bit different but very pleasant.  And, for the first time in my life, I watched snow falling on Christmas Eve.  The snow remained on the ground for half of the day on Christmas, before the sun withered it away.  Kenny, Zack, and Sophia got a kick out of that for sure!  It was weird being apart from Kirstie and Josh though!

I LOVE my job though!  I am replacing Joe, an 82-year-old brilliant man!  I will have to share some tidbits of Joe soon as he is truly a wonderful man.

Until then, Gina is OUT!

Scotland and Other News

Hello People!  Sorry that I’ve been AWOL!  It’s been a little hectic with the time changes, life, etc.

So Deana and I made it to Scotland safely!  We got up EARLY to catch the underground to the Victoria Train Station, where we caught an express train to Gatwick Airport.   The flight, when all was said and done, was a pretty short one – just over an hour.  We landed to dark skies in Edinburgh, but we were jazzed to check things out!

The local transport in Edinburgh is, IMHO, not as tourist friendly as London.  No underground, but TONS of busses flying here and there.  It was a bit daunting to figure out how to navigate the system (especially with two way-too-full suitcases), but here is where I share that Scottish people are UBBER friendly!  We took the express bus to downtown Edinburgh and then connected to the local bus that lead us to our hotel (which was a bit off the tourist stomping grounds).  At the time we didn’t realize that there was a freaking bus stop RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR HOTEL, and instead got off two stops before…..walking a bit with our luggage.  We laughed about that once we figured it out.  But we were SO pleased with the Holiday Inn Express, Waterfront!!!!  Felt just like home and had a HUGE room by European standards, a HUGE area for the continental breakfast, and stellar staff that were VERY friendly!  In fact, when we checked in the receptionist was named KIRSTIE!  Isn’t that cool?

Anyway, Edinburgh proved to be amazingly beautiful.  The buildings, the green grass, the expansive views…..and always friendly people who went out of their way to be helpful.  We were able to take a Trike Tour with a good looking man named Gordon, and viewed some of their cathedrals as well as their museum.  The food there was similar to London (not surprisingly), but at least they gave us malt vinegar for our fish and chips!  It was also very COLD!  Oh, in earlier posts I said it had to be below 45 degrees – it was!  Most days were in the low 30’s!  I even was victim to walking on black ice in London!  THAT is another story in itself!  🙂

Anyway, it was cold to be out all day in that weather, but surprisingly we survived.  It helped that we would stop in pubs for meals and such.  But let me tell you, my hair still feels dry and damaged.  LOL  Like I care.

So, heading back stateside, we again needed to leave before the sun rose (which is an interesting idea, since often the cloud cover hid the sun all day!).  We got on the local bus right outside our hotel at about 4:30am and took that to the express bus to the airport.  Once we got there,I freaked at first because our flight was with American Airlines…..but they were nowhere to be found!  Fortunately, Deana is much more level headed in such situations, and she clearly remembered that British Airways are partners with AA, so we were actually flying with them.  But the travels were LONG and a bit HARD.  We first flew to London Heathrow, then connected to a flight to Chicago.  But first we needed to go through security at Heathrow that was an ordeal in itself.  That took about an hour alone!  Once we got to the plane (which was jam full, by the way), we just sat there and flew, you know?  But then in Chicago we needed to go through customs.  By this point we had been traveling about 16 hours!

And I am not ashamed to say, the Chicago Customs people are FREAKING LAME!  First of all, their system seems whacked.  They separated US Citizens from foreign visitors.  I have no problem with that at all.  However, one would think that there would be a system to determine which gates needed employees to screen incoming travelers.  In our case, 75% of the travelers were US Citizens.  However, I would guess that 75% of the staff were working on foreign travelers.  The foreign travelers were processed in about 7 minutes, while us US Citizens took upward of 45 minutes.  We got to the front of the line at about 38 minutes when someone had the great idea to start utilizing the agents that were just standing there, as there were no foreign travelers to process.

THEN, when it finally got to my turn, I get a total jerk!  I have been blessed to have been able to traveled all over the world.  I have had to go through a bit more intimidating immigration processes, such as into Russia.  But overall, the standard questions are, when returning to the United States, are “where are you coming from?”, “how long were you there?”, and “was this business or leisure”.  I have no problem with that.  In fact, truthfully, I have no real problem with ANY question because, in truth, these people are there to protect you and me from scary people entering our country.  But maybe it was this guy’s attitude (which I suspect was related to him being a “little man”), coupled with my 16+ hours already into my trip……..the interaction didn’t go well.

First of all, I was already irritated as I had just spend the last 30+ minutes in line watching these agents do nothing, as the rest of us stood there waiting for someone to process us.  THEN, when I finally got to Mr. Custom-Little-Man, he immediately treated me like a criminal.

MCLM:  Where are you coming from?

Me: Scotland, after a few days in England

MCLM:  Why were you there?

Me:  Vacation

MCLM:  Why did you go there for vacation?

Me:  (suprised)……um, I love London and wanted to see Edinburgh

MCLM:  How many times have you been to London before?

Me:  (getting irritated) this was my second trip

MCLM:  I don’t see another stamp for London

Me:  I changed my last name since I went there the first time……..the stamp is in my old passport

MCLM:  Do you have a job in the United States?

Me:  (Now getting pissed) Do I have to have a job to be allowed in?

MCLM:  No

Me:  (rrrrr) Do I have to answer that question to be allowed in?

MCLM:  Do you have a job?

Me:  Yes

MCLM:  What is your profession?

Me:  Are you serious?!?!!?!!?

MCLM:  Answer the question.

Me: (who, seriously, had wished I could have thought to answer “Exotic Dancer” at this point, but it came to me later) I am an accountant.

MCLM:  Okay, you can go. (this interchange took about 3-4 minutes)

I took my passport, gave him the dirtiest look I could muster, and stormed off.  Of course, Deana did NOT go through a similar experience because, apparently, she didn’t get a little man who needed to prove he was this strong authority or something.

But the fun didn’t stop there.  Because, as it happens, we were required to GET our luggage and ROLL it to put on a belt “for security screening”, before we could connect to our next flight.  I wondered what the point of THAT was, as we didn’t stay, didn’t have to divulge anything…….so why couldn’t the process be done by the airline????  But maybe I am asking too much.

Once we got on our final connecting flight from Chicago to LAX, I was so ready to be home!  I really don’t have much to complain about at this point (shocking, I know!).  We arrived, grabbed our bags, and took off.  At this point we were close to the 24 hour mark of our travels!  All  on my birthday, no less!  One good thing about flying west on your birthday is that the day lasts a very long time!  Whoot!

Okay, that is all I am going to write about now.  More later for sure.

Gina out

London Visit Continues

So we are ending day 3 in London…..oh wait, is it 4?  Hmmmm.  It’s hard to keep track.  We have spent two days of intense site seeing since I last wrote, and unfortunately I don’t have much time left on my internet hour to get into great detail.  However, it’s been a BLAST and I am blessed beyond words!  Just a short list of things we’ve seen:

Kensington Palace

Big Ben

Westminster Abbey (an AMAZING tour that had us both in awe)

The Tower of London

London Eye

Thames

Hampton Court

The Original Hard Rock Cafe (London baby!)

Taken the Underground, a Train, as well as the River Boat

That’s all I can think of right now.  It was raining every day except today, which proved to be a very sunny day.  NOT warm however – in fact it seemed much cooler than the other days!  I would say it didn’t get above 45 degrees.

And as for the American Dollar – I curse you!  I now understand at a very personal level how very weak you are!  Do you know how painful it is to change in $200 and get about £102?  And although it is not Great Britain’s fault my money is so weak, do you know how painful it is to sit down to get a burger, let’s say, and think “Wow, this burger is going to cost me about $18!”  PAINFUL!  But I wouldn’t change this trip for the world!

That’s all I have now……..more later I hope!  We leave for Scotland tomorrow early in the morning – have to catch the underground to a train that will take us to Gatwick Airport, where our flight leaves at 8:45am.  Neither Deana nor I have ever been to Scotland, so we are very excited!  Let’s see if it competes with our current favorite place – LONDON!

Gina OUT