3 thoughts on “Six Words of Apathy

  1. It is saddening to see you dealing with so much pain. It is counter intuitive, but I think it just may free you. I have felt as you feel – annihalated, betrayed, hurt, beaten down… It took time, but I finally forgave for me, and it ended up in restoration of a what is now a wonderful relationship. Somehow the forgiveness wiped clean the slate and allowed us to rebuild in a way that created an even deeper foundation. Don’t count it all a loss too soon. Your feelings and emotions seem very raw.

    I went back and read your blog from start to finish last week, and see that you have led a full life with much to be proud of at least since June of 2005. Don’t let this situation whatever it is creep in and cause you to believe you have to carry this pain forward. From reading it seems like it may have to do with the loss of a relationship that was dear to you. Don’t trust your mind or your heart right now. God is the person who can bring about changes in both you and the “assinator” for his glory.

  2. To clarify, “this situation”, unfortunately, manifested itself in painful ways for over a year if not longer. It culminated in a true assassination of me that can probably never be changed. But I am taking steps to remove the pain and give it to God. Sometimes others don’t like those steps and don’t agree with them – even get angry about them and leave mean messages – but I will prevail with the power of Christ that indwells me.

  3. I agree. You will prevail. I have no doubt about that. You are a very strong woman, for sure. And, you deserve to be blessed beyond measure. I pray you find joy and peace through it all. People are human and feelings can cause huge ups and downs in life, but it is certain that feelings are real and must be confronted head on. I applaud you for doing what you feel is right. I pray it turns out years down the line as you hope and dream.

    1 Corinthians 13 captures love for what it should be. I fear that was not the experience. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. IT ALWAYS PROTECTS ALWAYS TRUSTS, always hopes always perseveres. Love never fails. While I don’t know the entire situation, from what I’ve read on your blog, it appears that protection and trust have not been flowing freely either way as of late.

    It is sad but emotions do come into play especially where pain is concerned. I pray what you deem as an assasination is just a set back that God can use to make you better or allow you to feel whole. Sometimes He uproots to replant.

    Messages of anger could be truly messages of hope or despair at such a great loss of a wonderful person such as you. Keep looking up for that is whence your help comes from.

    And, don’t second guess your heart, but I guess the Bible might be right about it being desperately wicked. Or where it says, “Guard your heart for out of it comes all the issues of life.” I’d imagine you’d agree with these two verses at this time in life. I can remember well feeling them in a huge way.

    I still encourage you to keep holding on knowing that God is a God of restoration. Even if it is not full restoration of what was. He is able to mend hearts and lives for His glory. I have heard it said that wounds hurt while scars show but cause no pain. I pray that the scarring begins soon.

    You do rock. On that I can agree.

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