Okay, let me point out first that I was 100% correct with the bottom three! And yes, if you don’t know me, I do NOT think highly of myself but LOVE to sound that way on this blog! I ROCK!!!

I was NOT correct with who was going home – Syesha stayed and Kristy left. I was a LITTLE sad about that, especially since this week was the first time I actually LISTENED to Kristy and didn’t cover my ears and moan. But, then again, how many weeks DID I do that? So, it’s probably good that she is going home. But part of me will miss the complaining me and my friend would do as she sang……

We will have to see how it goes next week! It’s getting more difficult because the pool is leaving those I really like. But then, there’s always Brooke to vote off……..

• Assassination complete
• You won
• I am done

Here is my update for the week!

David A: I loved everything except the falsetto part. Mariah, yes. David, no. But otherwise a strong performance, although not strong enough for me to vote for him. I think he will make it this week.

Carly: I liked her song, she added her own flavor to it. My friend said she was a little boring, especially on the lower notes, and I think there is some truth to that. But I liked it and voted for her. Hope she doesn’t make the bottom three again this week. I think she’s safe.

Shyesha : She was in her genre this week I think, with the warble and changing notes and Mariah-ish singing. But I still could not feel it. I loved her hair, but I didn’t stop my homework to watch her and listen. And that, to me, means she should be in the bottom three. Yep, no votes for her this week!

Brooke – she still bugs me. I think she sucked when she doesn’t sing a folksy song, and Mariah is not that folksy people. Stop this madness, seriously. I agree with Simon, we only got the bun with this performance. She needs to go home! Not vote, yep you guessed it.

Kristy – you know that she is not my favotire. But this week, despite her pitch problems in a few places, she did a fine job with this song. My friend said her phrasing (aka not taking a breath for the end) was very good. I agree. I almost want to vote for her. But naw. Not sure if she will be in the bottom three. I hope so but it is questionable.

David C: I like that he changed the song from the original. I liked the orchestra. This was very un-Mariah like and yes, I loved it. But you know I love him so I don’t know how objective I am. But hey, the judges backed me up on this – even Simon, so there you go! I still think he’s taking this one all the way! On a side note, the background vocals SUCKED! Yes, I voted for David.

Jason – okay, I continued with my homework when he sang, but it was a pleasant song to think to and I got the right answers, so there you go. I have no complaints about him and yes, my friend is still lusting after him and his hair. Simon even commented that the song was owned by Jason and that is huge. Go Jason. Cool dreds. Yes, I voted for him.

So, I think the bottom three will be Syesha, Brooke, Kristy. I think Syesha is going home. But I’ve been wrong before (but I DID get 2 out of 3 of the bottom right last week!)

Gina OUT!

Many of you who really know me, know that if given a choice for seats in a training or other class type forum, I would choose to sit in the front.  RIGHT in the front.  I have been teased to tears by my friends concerning this preference I hold.  Well, to you that have done that, check out this quote!

“People who sit up front don’t have the money. They have the brains.”

Dude, I rock!

(And, although it is so rhetorical, I would like to add that I am very humble, too!)

No, I really didn’t go to the park today. I took care of a few errands, did my homework, relaxed a bit after sleeping in until 9:30 this morning. I took a long drive and hung out with a friend. Played Guitar Hero until my eyes watered (yeah, really, played for four hours straight!) And now I am writing in this blog! Oh, and it was nearly 100 degrees here today in Sunny California! Yowza!

I am feeling a little melancholy today. Not sad, not down. Just…….melancholy. What does that mean? Per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the term means, “depression of spirits : dejection : a pensive mood”. Am I dejected? I guess that means lowness of spirits. Am I low? Hmmmm. Maybe I am using the wrong word to describe how I feel.

And now you realize why this blog is named “Just Rambling”!

I am at a good place in my life, I know that. Things are happening that are revealing who I really am, what I am capable of. I am taking strides I have never taken before, reaching inward to places I never knew existed. This is AMAZING and I am so happy about that. Yet, it also feels as though I am in sort of a limbo – of living but not living. Of being, but not really being. And I don’t know what to do with that. Maybe it means that my growth is fighting against what I have been “comfortable” in for 40 years – my psyche is reaching out to what it knows, even if it is not healthy. Or maybe I AM in a sort of limbo, and why is that bad? Maybe I need a rest period for a time, an intermission that allows me to progress on this road of discovery and healing that I’ve placed myself on. Maybe I need to stop searching outward to find wholeness and rest until I find that the wholeness I seek is in myself and in God. Hmmmm.

So, on that note, I am feeling melancholy! 🙂

This week has been a bit hectic for me – lots going on. School has kicked in and it’s got me busy…..more so because I wait until the last minute to do my homework! But I am glad to say that much of this procrastination was the result of having lots of fun this weekend!

Saturday I spent quality time with my boys – the neighborhood was having a bonfire and so I hung around and just had fun. Josh danced, Kenny was doing five million things, and it was just……chill. Then Sunday the boys and I went to visit my Dad and Ellie and we had so much fun. It was a very sweet reunion of sorts. It amazes me that despite time and drama, family meshes back together as if nothing has really changed. That blessed me tremendously and the boys had a blast too.

Later on Sunday Kirstie returned from her Spring Break trip, which happened to be to San Francisco. True to form, Kirstie was glad to me home (ever since she was a child, she never really liked being away from home for long periods of time.) I had a BLAST hearing about her trip, seeing the awesome pictures she took while there, and just hanging with her. It was really cool!

Then, on Monday I took the boys to an Angels game and Edgar came too because Kirstie fell for his beggin…..yes, this was the game where they Angels won at the bottom of the 9th thanks to a Grand Slam Home Run? Yeah, we were in the parking lot heading to our car when that happened! Can you picture Kenny throwing his glove, making two fists, and screaming to the sky, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”? Yeah, it really happened! We ran to the car, turned on the radio, and figured out what had happened as the fireworks were shooting into the sky! LOL. Kenny has forgiven me so don’t worry. Also, this was the first game Josh really was old enough to experience fully and it was great to see him take it all in, experience the excitement of it, and watch him absorb the concepts of the game. IT WAS A GREAT NIGHT!

So, all of that to say…….life is busy but things are NICE! I still have tough moments (don’t we all?), still have drama, and am busy as all heck. But I am being blessed by my God, by my family, and by my friends. God is faithful beyond measure……

As many of you know, I am not a huge TV watcher. But this season I have gotten hooked into a few shows, one especially…..AMERICAN IDOL! So, since last night was the performance night, here is my recap! (Yes, I know you’re DYING to know what I think!)

Not in order of performance because I am still waking up:

David Archuleta – he is one of my favorite performers, despite his nervous lip licking. He is so CUTE and SWEET and boy, can he sing! But last night was the first night I didn’t vote for him this season! The song he sang just didn’t resonate with me at all. I think his voice was okay, but it didn’t do anything for me. Sorry David.

Jason Castro – this is one of my friend’s favorite, more because I think she likes his looks and HAIR. But anyway, his rendition of Over the Rainbow is in my head even as I type at this ungodly hour! I think it was truly one of his best performances this season and he changed the song just enough to make it HIS, which I respect. I might even buy the song from iTunes……I voted for him this week.

David Cook – I need to be real here, David C. is my favorite on the show! I LOVE how he alters songs to make them his own and I have purchased two or three of his songs from iTunes. I think he can go all the way, I really hope he wins! Having said that, however, last night was not that impressive. I love his voice and he has a great stage presence, but it wasn’t his best……it’s like he was washed out or lacked the pizzazz I am used to. I DID vote for him out of loyalty if not for his performance.

Kristy Lee Cook – I need to be real here, too. Kristy bugs me. Every week I cringe when she sings and pray that this is the week she gets kicked off. The best thing she has going for her is her looks, which I admit are stellar. However, she pulled this week off rather well! Her singing was better than normal – I think her song choice was good. But, I couldn’t bring myself to vote for her.

Michael Johns – here is another person who has been flagged by my friend as “hot”. I really can’t feel it. And his singing? Well, he is consistent each week, but I just don’t FEEL it! And what is with the scarves he has been wearing the last two weeks? They need to go. And I seem to see the same performance week after week…..boring. His song was okay……and I didn’t vote for him.

Syesha Mercado – You know, I like Syesha. Last week’s “I will always love you” I thought was very good, despite the judges’ comments. But this week? I think she blew it. This may be the last week for Syesha. Or I expect her to be in the bottom 3. If she goes, I will miss her cool hair. I didn’t vote for her.

Carly Smithson – Let’s be real again here, Carly is another one of my favorites. I think her voice is amazing – it’s depth, the control she has! And, let’s face it, I like her tattoos too! (Not really the ones on her husband’s face, but I won’t penalize her for that!) This week’s performance was good too – she hit the notes, varied her range, belted and pulled back………yeah. Not the most amazing as far as making me all jump and vote for her and say, “Now THAT is singing!”, but still made me pat myself on the back for liking a winner. Yeah, I voted for her.

Brooke White – Okay, another friend is in love with Brooke. I kind of see it, her puppy dog, tearful eyes and large smile……but COME ON PEOPLE! She sings the same freaking style of song every freaking week and bores me to tears! Are there other songs besides those from Carly Simon and James Taylor???? HELLO! She bugs the hell out of me, can’t you tell???? As a friend said, “Can we vote people off????” Too bad we can’t! Don’t get me wrong, she doesn’t bug me as much as Kristy, she can sing okay, but she is not really a contender in my book. Yea, I didn’t vote for her. She probably won’t go this week though. Sigh.

My call for the bottom three:

Syesha, Michael, Brooke. I think that Syesha is going home.

Have a great day!

So it’s been a few days since I posted. I am a little scared to “bare my soul” here as I am worried that I will offend one or maybe two of my 2.78 readers. Dare I not move on? Heck, let’s go for it!

I am a tired person. Physically, maybe a little emotionally. But you know what???? Through this “tiredness”, and kind words from very wise counsel (ahem, Martin), I have realized that I was leaning too much on my own understanding and not nearly enough on God’s. And you know what else I’ve found? God is way more consistent than those I have relied on in the past, even myself. So there you go!

God is amazing. I am sure I will have a melt down or maybe fight a fight that makes me too tired and shows no results. But God? He is not going to fail me.

WORDS……

Words have the power to uplift and the power to destroy.  Anger, in response to destructive words, never make things better.  Human qualities are so WOEFUL and PATHETIC.

So what am I most sad/angry about?  The actions of others or those of myself?  How much should I own and how much is based on a lie that seems to spread more quickly than fire?  Why do people find it easier to believe in dramatic nonsense than things based on fact?  Facts, I guess, are too boring.  Why can whole lives be crumbled to nothing in one brief moment – one brief collection of words?  And why does the kiss of death touch so many people that really shouldn’t even be involved?

Yet how can I measure my response to the crap that surrounds me?  Did I act with wisdom?  With humility?  With honor?  And if I answer no to any of these, does that make the lie become the truth?  I would hope not, but am finding out that my humanness, perhaps even my very emotions, are now being used to validate words that really have no merit.  And that is much worse than the lie itself.

So again, what should I own?  I can own that I made bad choices, that I altered my gut by making bad decisions.  That I reacted to words in a way that was  inappropriate.  I reacted and was not prudent.  I used language that I am not proud of.  Yet I am not completely guilty.  I do not accept that my lack of wisdom or bad decisions in the past automatically mean I am guilty of everything I might be accused of.  And yet, that’s where I am today.

Words……….

….what to write.  Deep thoughts are going through my mind and I am not sure how to share them in this venue.  Do I “go deep”, or do I try to summarize?

Decisions, decision.

So, I will have to distract myself…..

Here is my beloved Justin – yes, I still love him!

Here is me and my Dad, circa 1968

Here is Kirstie

Truth.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!