Well, I know they are different; partly personality and partly due to their ages. But they SO crack my up! Josh has recently taken on some mannerisms of Kenny that I find endearing, and Kenny is going through the “I am about to be a teenager so I have to be cool, but I don’t want to be a jerk” stage. Both are fun to watch.
As an example of their differences, here are two pictures. They were taken on the first day of school since coming back to California. Both were a little nervous because it was a new school and they would have to make new friends, etc. So I go, “Josh! I need to take your picture because its the first day of school!”
I did the same thing to Kenny, and here is HIS picture:
This was AFTER Kenny lectured me, “Mom…..you KNOW how first impressions are! DO NOT do anything to embarrass me because the kids will remember you and they will be saying ‘Kenny is the one with the crazy mom!'”
Yesterday I shared about how God blessed me through my son, Kenny. Well, I am going to try to focus on the other blessings God has put into my life instead of seeing things like I usually do…..like dwelling on the things that are painful or unfair or wrong in my life.
So, let’s begin, in no particular order:
The sun is BEAUTIFUL this morning. It is as if God put it there just for me to feel His warmth and love.
Sitting here with my coffee, writing this blog, surrounded by my family, I am so content.
Am I sad? Yes, aspects of me are sad. But they are normal and they are real and I do not need to be afraid to admit it anymore.
My kids are wonderful. My ex-husband is wonderful. My ex-in-laws are wonderful. I am not sure how these latter two changed to dramatically, but I appreciate them in my life. UPDATE: this comment/bullet point has NOTHING to do with anyone else besides me. I am seeing them for who they are, who they always have been, and it does not relate to anyone else but them. And these are not people who have an agenda against me or anyone else.
My friends are there for me, not just for emotional support, but they appreciate me for who I am – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and love me completely. True friends love, even when you share with them your failures. I am blessed with several who fit this mark. And they also tell me the tough stuff out of love. My friends are amazing.
My Dad and Ellie are wonderful. Tough times exist, but true family fits back into the “right” place as if nothing has changed. They hug you, they listen, they support, and they love. And I have that, and I am truly blessed by it.
Again, my kids are an elixir I just can’t stop thinking about. The happiness that shows in their eyes, the feel of their hugs or just witnessing their silliness…..I am blessed.
UPDATE: outside circumstances hurt me, outside attacks taint me, and outside words attempt to crucify my spirit (even if cloaked under the premise of love). And some filter through and hit my core, this is true. But they cannot diminish the blessings that surround me. These aspects can keep trying to tear me down while claiming their devotion to me, and I CANNOT CONTROL THAT, but hear me – believe me…….THEY DO NOT CONTROL ME. I am prepared to lose everything I hold dear (especially how others view my character), and yet I will remain blessed. And, for that, I am at peace.
I am a bit sad today. As I said, that’s okay. But I am blessed, and these blessings are not contrived. They are not there to “force” me to be happy. As my good friend Martin reminds me, “Truth is truth.” And, he’s right!
Psalm 127:3, “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.” UPDATE
I have three wonderful children that are truly rewards. But today, I would like to focus on just one of them – my son, Kenny.
Kenny has always been a very, very sensitive young man. He has great intuition to sense other’s feelings, comfort them, and understand them at a level beyond his years. Even when he was like three years old, he knew if I was sad and went out of his way to love me – to take away some of my sadness. Now that he’s on the cusp of being a teenager, this gift of his is even stronger.
There are times when I forget that he’s only 12, that his feelings are still maturing. That he has trouble with sadness and anger just as I do. But yet, he still finds a way to bless me beyond measure. Kenny is truly a gift to me from the Lord.
Yesterday, over dinner, I shared something with Edgar about changes that have occurred at work. Kenny was not at the table, but overheard the details and became very protective of me. He was very angry and so went to the bathroom – I am guessing to control the tears that had moved to his eyes. For my own part, I felt HORRIBLE that he heard what I had said and seemed to take it into his heart. He came out moments later – I don’t mean to be dramatic, but as if he had the touch from God. His countenance was so……wonderful. He had loving words to share with me, he understood the situation well beyond his years, and his words were geared to bless me and me alone. At that moment I felt like he was the parent and I was the child! But then, I realized God had blessed me, and so profoundly in the moment, through my son. I rejoice in that.
There are times that we can lose touch with the blessings that God has given us. Our society seems to always be seeking bigger and better “things”, never really finding contentment with what we have been given. I am guilty of that. I have so many holes within me that need to be filled, yet God has already provided the means to fill them. Kenny is one of those means, as manifested when he blessed me so much last night and so many other times. This was a wonderful reminder that God loves me beyond measure!
Welcome to WordPress.com. I have moved my blog here and hope you enjoy it as much as my old format! I also tried to make the font a little bigger for my favorite Aunt – let me know if it worked!
He called me and told me that he accepted Christ, except I thought he was calling to tell me he had lost his first tooth. Well, guess what???? On Saturday, 2/23, HE LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH!
It had been lose for a while and he finally got it out with a little help from Grandma!
Friday, February 1st, 2008 started out to be an okay, usual day; it was Friday, payday, and the weekend was right around the corner. Work was a little hectic, but not overwhelming. I was feeling a bit better physically too.
Then, at lunch I received a call from a strange number, one that I didn’t recognize. I decided not to answer the phone – if it was important, they would leave a message. A few minutes later, Deana’s cell phone rang and it was Michael. As we just arrived at work, I said goodbye to Deana and Sophia and jumped out of the car. Moments after arriving at my desk, however, Deana called me and said I missed a really good call and I needed to call Michael. I assumed he had enrolled in school or got promoted at work, so I called him right away.
He answered and we had small chat for a few seconds, and then he said, “Josh needs to talk to you.” That was different, so I quickly figured he finally lost his first tooth and was excited to share it with me.
G: What? You got saved today?!?!!?!
J: Yeah! Jesus is in my heart!
G: That’s awesome! Tell me all about it!
J: Well today Michael reminded me that Jesus died on the cross to pay for all my sins and that I could ask him into my heart and he would be with me forever and I could live with Jesus and God in heaven and Jesus will be with me always and make me feel safe and take care of me. So we prayed and Jesus came into my heart! And Mom, I am so excited! (He said this last part numerous times)
Josh, who is more outgoing than I thought he would be, is still not overly expressive. When he was talking he really WAS excited…..more than I’ve ever heard before! We talked some more about this and I shared how this was a wonderful day for him and for me, etc. He then said:
J: Hey Mom, now you’re my sister! (giggle)
I rejoice in this amazing blessing and am totally amazed at how God is so faithful! I talked to Michael, who said he just felt like he should start talking to Josh today – I am thankful that Mike responded to the Holy Spirit’s leading. Kenny, who also accepted Christ when he was 7 – has really had a burden for his little brother and has prayed for him and talked to him about Christ. He was VERY excited to hear Josh has accepted Christ as his own personal Lord and Savior.
Throughout the day, Stepha said Josh kept saying, “I can’t believe Jesus saved me today!”
He truly seems different……and I am so blessed and amazed and humbled and……thankful!
Josh will be calling people today to share the news too!
Here’s Sophia – she’s always moving so I have so many pics of her blurry!
Sophia is a joy to me! I love when she visits and stays close to me, which she does very well. She is practically glued to my sides sometimes and it is hard work AND fun at the same time.
Some things that I’ve taught Sophia the last few days:
Saying “Oh no you didn’t” with her hand on her hip
Saying “What’s your problem?” (I am such a good Auntie…..)
She has been practicing her letters on me…..she is learning lots.
I just love this little girl! She is so loving and loyal…..well, she’s way more loyal to her Mama than me! Even when I am pretending to beat Deana up because she’s tickling Sophia or something, Sophia will turn on me and say “Hey, don’t make my Mama cry!” She is sweet and I love her.
And Stepha, if you’re reading this, I am often called by your name. 😛
Today I went to visit my mother with Deana and Sophia – here we are walking into the apartment building where she lives.
My mother has advanced COPD – Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Many will recognize emphysema more than this term, but it rolls into her disease many other factors that she deals with everyday. Bottom line, she has about 11% use of her lungs and her quality of life is not very pleasant. She has a grocery list of other ailments, including dementia, diabetes, and a heart condition. She is still a spitfire, however. Here she is with me and Sophia:
My mother has also painted for many, many years. While many of my favorites are gone, here are pics are a few of them that I have loved over the years:
I walked into this visit with excitement, even joy. But, without getting into too many of the details, I have left with a heavy heart. Part of it was seeing her in her present condition, while other aspects revolve around many of the things that have been present my entire life. All of it, despite the turmoil I am experiencing right now, make up my mother. I am overall glad that I went, but honestly struggling with the aftermath. I have too many crashing thoughts to articulate them well here, but suffice it to say – today, visiting my mother, has been difficult for me.
That’s an interesting phrase and one that has made me laugh many times in my life. But today, it’s not so funny. Apparently, one of Deana’s siblings feels that she has drunk “the hater juice” because of the following statement:
“I love these grown “kids” so much!!!! I am proud of each one for different reasons, but today I am as proud as a peacock. Why? Well, {name removed} and {name removed 2} qualified all on their own for their very first apartment! It is a VERY nice complex here in TX, and they are beyond excited to be moving out on their own. {name removed 3} will be moving in with them as well, but he won’t carry equal weight as far as the bills. He is only 18 and still working part time so the funds aren’t as plentiful for him.”
Apparently, the comments regarding name removed 3 is very offensive because he is “carrying the weight equally”. Well, he may be, or he may not be – I have no idea if he is paying 1/3 of the rent or 1/3 of the utilities bills or 1/3 or the food – last I heard name removed 1 & 2 were not relying on anything from #3, only what he could afford. But that is really not anything I want to discuss in detail. What I WANT to say is, the above post was made in love and filled with excitement and pride for each and every person equally, and posted completely in love. But apparently, name withheld #3 was so offended by the post as “hater juice”, that he had to run to Deana……oh no wait, he ran to his MOTHER to complain! Deana doesn’t even know that he is BOTHERED by the post, so how is it now supposedly HATER JUICE?????
And then I ask you, what is more hater juice, the post above that was not INTENDED to offend, but could have been remedied IF the person was told that it hurt someone, or someone telling his sister to F off and you can’t have the mattress so sleep on the floor? To me, that is OVERT and HATER JUICE!
And just a side note – a lot of people have been treating Deana like crap, HATER JUICE. Treating her like she has the plague, not keeping your word and taking things you said she could have until Friday, not even acting like she’s a part of the family (my opinion, not hers – although she is hurt.) And THAT is hater juice in it’s finest.
So……I, for one, and glad this stupid butt drama will HOPEFULLY end soon. Family doesn’t do this crap.
Just Rambling 