Knowing those you love

How well should we know the people we love? Should we know what makes them feel valued? Should we notice when their souls have been damaged? Should we know when things are not right?

I answer yes to those things but I am a minority I guess – or at least someone who has too many expectations. And I am not even that good at noticing things so maybe I am a hypocrite, too.

What I DO know is that I need to accept everyone else’s bad day, bad mood, physical pain, being tired, etc. But the time I need to express these emotions or feeling they are not allowed or appreciated. It seems as though the thing I add to this world that is most appreciated is my “happiness” and enthusiasm. Well, sometimes even Super Gina has a bad day and just needs to cry. But I guess I am not allowed, because in doing so I mess everyone else’s life up.

Sorry for being such a downer – even through this blog I am feeling guilty for not being Miss Positive! Or maybe I am scared because there is a very real risk of losing my friends and family if I don’t offer the image they know and love.

You know what though – if I hear one more time how I should appreciate all the things others do for me I will scream. God knows I don’t ask for half of it and the implication that I don’t appreciate it is absurd. Oh wait, there is where I am supposed to crack a joke and make everyone laugh – that is what my life amounts to.

Okay, enough for feeling sorry for myself.

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