We are all guilty of this, one time or another. Saying “I’m sorry” and then following it with “but” or some other phrase. “I am sorry, but you didn’t understand what I was saying” or “I am sorry I hurt you, but I didn’t mean what you thought I meant”, etc. ANYTHING that you add to your sorry, in my opinion, negates your apology – except for maybe something like “when I said that, it was wrong”, or the specifics for what you’re apologizing for.
To me, any EXCUSE, DECLARATION, EXPLANATION, DEFENSE, OR ANY SUCH STATEMENT does not belong in an apology. To me, you might as well as “I am sorry, but you are really at fault because you shouldn’t have been upset in the first place because what I was REALLY saying was…….” or “I am sorry, but only that you were hurt because I didn’t INTEND on hurting you so maybe it’s really your fault that you were hurt in the first place.” Or “I am sorry, but it really wasn’t my fault because so and so made me mad so I wasn’t mad at you and so really, I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place.”
To me, to say “I am sorry, I was wrong” speaks VOLUMES MORE than 5,000 words eloquently spoken. Saying “I am so sorry for doing that, it was wrong.” and leaving it at that seems to be sincere. To me, it implies a real apology and that, no matter what caused the offense, the person apologizing is sorry it happened. Period. No excuse or explanation needed.
Seriously – think of someone who has apologized to you recently.
I am guilty of this, too.
But that’s just me. I’ve been told my views have been way off and this might be one of them. But this is my blog so there you go.