Author: Gina Marie

Travel Etiquette 101

/ Gina Marie / 1 Comment

I have been blessed to have not had to travel for business as much with my present job, – much less than my last job.  However, it still does occur and it brings me back to the fact that many travelers – especially business travelers – have lost touch with travel etiquette!  So this post hopes to evangelize this area for 2013!  No pressure, my 2.78 readers, but you need to help get the word out!

Here are some of the basic tenets of traveling with proper etiquette, as noted by Gina:

  • We’re all in this together.  That means you might be an executive making the big bucks or a lower middle class worker wondering how you’re  going to pay the rent on the first…..it doesn’t matter.  We have met at this juncture because we both (all) need to get from one place to another, for whatever reason, and our humanness should not be wiped out by the seat we were assigned or the order in which we were allowed to board the plane.  Planes are small enough without taking up space with massive egos.
  • Help One Another.  This is especially important for older passengers; I mean seriously, who can really stand by and watch an older passenger struggle to get their baggage in the overhead or have difficulty finding the numbers for the seat assignments?  Does is help ANYONE by getting frustrated because they’re slowing others down or don’t have a super-traveler’s speed?  Come to think of it, as HUMANS we should care for each other a bit more often instead of assuming everyone should move the hell out of our way.  Maybe if we HELP, like lift that bag for that lady or assist in helping that older gentlemen find his seat (or assist that young mother struggling with a toddler….the list goes on) EVERYTHING will work out better!  They are blessed by a kind co-traveler, the boarding process moves more quickly, and we ALL can get to where we are going that much faster.
  • There’s a person in that seat.  I know it’s easy to forget about that when you need to push up your tray or get up to go to the bathroom, but your actions directly affect the person sitting in front of you.  If you slam the tray up or push hard to latch it, the person in front of you will be slammed or pushed, perhaps harshly out of a dead sleep.    If you grab the seat to haul yourself up, said person will probably be catapulted to some degree, which is never pleasant.  So please be conscientious and slow down, don’t use the seat as your tool for movement, and everyone wins.  Remember, someone is behind you, too!
  • Headphones are a beautiful thing.  While I know it’s easy to assume the songs you love are everyone’s favorite, that is often not the case.  Nor do many enjoy listening to your FIFA soccer game, cheers and jeers included, as we try to read our books.  Nor is that R rated movie (even if it is academy award material) really enjoyable with its sex scene sound effects…..can you say “awkward”?  So please, travelers, remember to always use your headphones regardless of the type of device you are using (smartphone, iPad, or laptop).
  • Don’t be an Overhead Hog.  Lord knows everyone carries on their bags now that most airlines charge to check them.  I get that, and I have NO problem with those bags being brought on.  But there is still a tacit cost to it and EVERYONE should have a fair share at the storage!  So excuse me, but if you brought luggage and a backpack or laptop bag, put the latter under the seat in front of you.  Or if you brought a jacket or cowboy hat, don’t take limited overhead space for such trifles!  What happens is the poor guy in Group 4 gets on and his luggage, which won’t fit under his seat, has no place to go as your laptop takes up the space his bag would easily fit!  And you might say, “hey, you snooze, you lose!  I want to be comfortable!” but I argue, what happens if YOU end up in that place?  We, as travelers, are better than survival of the fittest!  And further, remember we are all in this together, and if bags have no place to go,the Flight Attendants need to coordinate their handling and this delays our flight.  So your greediness for overhead space for objects that can easily fit under the seat in front of you while also providing ample legroom messes us ALL up.  Just don’t do it!
  • There’s a Method to the Madness.  When the plane lands, especially if it was delayed at all, everyone is in a rush to exit.  Oh, who am I kidding?  No matter what, we all want to get off the plane and get to where we are going.  But even with that rush to be off the tiny area we’ve sat in for hours, there are seldom justifications that allow a person to push ahead of the exit etiquette rules (though they are broken every.  single.  time.  I.  fly.)  The ONLY exception to this rule is if the flight was so delayed that passengers that have connecting flights must to exit first to catch the connections…..and please, if that’s the case, LET THEM GET OFF FIRST!  Otherwise, etiquette demands that each row be allowed to exit, grab their overhead bag(s), and proceed off the plane.  DO NOT try to jump pass the row ahead of you because you’re already in the aisle……if there are three seats to the left and to the right in the row ahead of you, let them ALL out and proceed unless they specifically wave you on.  Demanding precedence for ANY reason causes delays to the people behind you and delays to the people who are technically in front of you.  And that is not cool.  I know it sucks when you’re in the back of the plane – I am often there – but the fact that it sucks does not mean other people should be forced to wait for you to push through.
  • Smile.  When I was traveling almost 75% of the time, it was easy for me to get bored or even frustrated that I had to listen to the FAA safety speech, wait for my drink, and otherwise go through the boring in flight ritual.  Well, imagine how the Flight Attendants feel having to DO all that, day in and day out, while most of the people they are serving care less about most of the process?  And, while I know they have chosen this job as a career, can you imagine being stuck in a plane day after day, usually filled with cranky travelers?  Make a huge difference, one airline employee  at a time, and smile and even go out of your way to say thank you!  And while you’re at it, smile to the co-travelers around you – even the ones that push their way forward or slammed their tray into your head – its amazing how it spreads like a yawn.
  • More to come soon!  Let me know what you think so far!

October – The Month of Reflection

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

So this month has been…….different.  It never really has been “a month” for me historically, though I have a few family members who celebrate their birthday during the month and what not.  But before 2011, October was not especially reflective.  That all changed last year, and for weeks I have been thinking about those events as well as the subsequent happenings during the months that followed.

But I am getting ahead of myself.  Last year, on October 30th, I received a call from Aracelly – my oldest brother’s ex-wife.  While I held no animosity towards her, we had naturally fallen apart after my brother and she divorced years before.  So it was weird that I received this ominous voice mail to please call as soon as I could.  As a mother, and a Professional Worrier in Training, I was able to think of some pretty scary reasons that she was calling in the moments it took me to call.  I actually reached Aracelly’s sister first, who gave me another number to reach her.  Yet even though I thought of many horrors that she needed to tell me, I was unprepared to actually hear what she had to share.

My brother Joey, was in critical condition and would probably not survive the night.  In fact she explained that he was in New York, in the middle of surgery, and it seemed pretty bad.  During this call, there was not a ton of information other than he had collapsed and that his brain was bleeding and the doctors were unsure of if he was brain dead or not.  Their daughter, Natalie, had been in Finland for school and was trying to get to New York to be with her dad.  Oh, and there was one other concern – if he made it out of surgery and if he even had brain function……..he had Stage IV kidney cancer.

I am not sure I will ever forget that moment in time – when time itself seemed to halt, as my heart raced, as my mind spun yet lacked focus to comprehend all that I needed to, the pain that I initially pushed back as I was afraid it would overwhelm me to a point where I’d be useless in helping, and the memories of my childhood and my brother that flooded before my tear-filled eyes.  Soon my mind switched to my niece Natalie, whom I felt a connection to despite the years we had not interacted, and wondered how best I could help HER while trying to ignore the pain I imagined she must be feeling as well.  But, like most things in my life, I function the best in coordinating/planning/notifying family/action plan creating and moved there almost immediately. 

Today, if I am honest with you, I almost wish I could go back to that moment because, back then my brother was alive……..

In any case, just as last year proved, I remind myself and you that there were some pretty awesome moments after that shocking phone call that I feel very blessed to have occurred despite the sadness that existed or the dire straights that had been communicated.  And in honor of my brother’s life, I’d like to recount those here with you over the coming days as I recreate those moments that began last year.

In the mean time, please enjoy my brother’s Memorial Slide Show.

Remembering Joey, Part 1

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

It has been a few days since my oldest brother, Joe (whom I will always refer to as Joey), passed away.  Of course, many thoughts…..many memories…..many emotions have been forming and expressing themselves since then and made it somewhat difficult to put into words.  But this is my first try.

Joey’s life was brought to an end by cancer.  No amount of time hearing or even seeing the disease eat away at someone truly prepares you for the loss.  I thought I was prepared, I really did, but it was still hard.  And yet, like a double edged knife, it also brought about the means to interact with my brother I may not have had otherwise.  When he first was in the hospital for an unrelated issue, and which ultimately exposed the cancer he had, our family came together.  I was able to spend time with him I may not otherwise have received.  Each time we talked, we tacitly knew it could be the last time and therefore it was that much more precious.  And we were able to discuss how meaningful we were to each other.  I will always thank God for these moments, as we are not guaranteed them in life.

But enough about his death, I really want to talk about his life.  Joey was not perfect at all, I will be the first to share that.  In fact, he was downright quirky!  None of my friends had a brother with long hippie hair, resembled Einstein, was a devout pacifist, or refused to kill spiders in the house.  He was a vegetarian way before it was cool, didn’t mind putting electrical tape on his eyeglasses if broken, and despite having the intelligence to program complex computer code – preferred to live as though it were the 1940’s.  I was always a little scared to ride in the car with him growing up (before my love for roller coasters) and he would often frustrate the hell out of me when I needed help with math in school because he was so passionate he’d want to go back to its inception and explain all the nuances involved.  I, on the other hand, just wanted to finish my homework.  So I admit he was not perfect.

But I loved him, and he loved me back very well.  And here are some bullet points as to why.

  • When I was little I had very long hair.  He was the most gentle when brushing it.
  • While many remember that he was a “perpetual student”, he cared for me and my brother David while my parents worked until I was about 12.  That meant he was in his mid twenties.
  • I am not sure how he did it, but he helped me to LOVE reading.  He would take David and I to the library, used book stores, and other places and we would have so much fun.
  • He never, ever lost his temper with me.  Never.
  • When my mom had her first heart attack when I was 16, Joey went to the hospital with her and my dad.  He came home alone with tons of groceries; ice cream, ding dongs, cookies…..you get the drift.  And then he calmly shared that mom was staying in the hospital but would be okay.  He was always careful to care for our feelings.
  • He exposed me to vast amounts of music; classical, eastern, Led Zeppelin.
  • He made weird food.  Sometimes awful food.  Sometimes fun food like pizza from scratch, even with my own kids.
  • He took me shopping for clothes before my senior year in high school, even though he didn’t take care of me anymore.
  • He paid for my first semester of college books and told me he was there if I needed more, that he didn’t want me to worry about costs related to school.
  • He asked me to sing at his wedding, even though he knew how I sing.
  • He transformed my life………

More memories to come.  I miss Joey, but I know he will always be with me and that these memories are real and will not go away.  Thanks for reading.

A Change of Pace – Not About Chick-Fil-A

/ Gina Marie / 3 Comments

I tell you, it’s been a crazy week for me!  LOTS of roller coaster rides emotionally, but I can say as I sit and write this, I know and feel the love of Christ envelop me.  And am reminded to walk in HIS love, and love others as He has taught, and then the rest will fall into place.  But I digress.

Today I would like to share my beliefs about something, and especially this week I learned that everyone has a right to have and share their beliefs.  The spirit of this sharing is not in order to convince you to think the way I do, to point out how wrong it is for you to believe what you do, or anything like that.  It is to share WHY I believe what I do and I hope for one goal – that you can understand MY position.  If any reader feels they need to share THEIR opinion, via public comment or private message to me, that’s fine.  Just please use the same spirit of not telling me or anyone else why MY feelings are “wrong” or yours are “right”.  Focus on why you believe it, period.

Topic of the Day:  Marriage vs Civil Union

During the course of this week, I have heard several sub-topics pop-up as either reference points or proving points within the bigger Chick-Fil-A/Free Speech/Freedom of Religion debate chain.  Some honestly made me roll my eyes (I’ve posted here before how the whole “Adam and Eve vs Adam and Steve has always made me react), though many were shared intelligently and without as much perceived venom.  One such topic was Marriage vs Civil Unions.  And that got me to thinking.

The premise presented (and it was presented in a friendly way) that the issue this person had is that her religion does not accept or approve of same-sex marriage, so to have the government FORCE it or elevate it above her religious beliefs was offensive to her.  However, if Civil Unions were legalized and offered the exact same legal rights and benefits as marriage to same-sex couples, which in her mind also meant it didn’t include her religion or beliefs, she was cool with that.  That way, both groups could be treated equally without the infringement on religious beliefs.

At first, I have to admit this sounded cool to me.  I mean, some of my biggest concerns as a lesbian is that my wife (and remember, we were legally married in New York, so I can say that) will not receive social security benefits, may be excluded from me if I were in the hospital, would have to potentially pay inheritance taxes on the house we purchased together as we are not seen as relatives, and really……the State of Texas (and bunches of others) don’t even recognize my marriage at all.  So, my first response was,”Yeah, give me a Civil Union and make sure the legality is recognized at the State and Federal level, and I’d be cool with it.”  Because really, MY God approves of my relationship so I already have that piece and this would add the missing pieces.

But then I started to think more deeply about this and realized, TO ME, this is only a partial solution.  And admittedly, I’d take it in a heartbeat today, but I would not stop supporting the efforts for full marriage equality until it comes to fruition or I die.  Why?  Let me explain.

I contend such a structure does not promote Equality OR Freedom of Religion!

  • Marriage is absolutely a religious covenant – I don’t dispute it.  But there are members of religions who do not see same-sex marriage as outside their belief system.  While I am not promoting forcing ANY church to perform marriages to same-sex couples if it is against their beliefs (and really, would YOU want to get married in such a church?), to not allow churches who have no problem to perform a marriage in their church to same-sex marriage is not equality.  Both should have a RIGHT to do so, or not do so, as they see fit based on their religious beliefs.  That allows Freedom of Religion.
  • Marriage, whether some view it as a religious right, is not EXCLUSIVELY a religious right.  I was married in the state of California (and you must accept this marriage, for it was to a wonderful man) and it became a legally binding document within the county in which I was married, as well as the State of California.  That legal documents proved to the Federal Government my status, and that of my husband, and allowed us to file taxes together, own property together as family members, share insurance policies, gave us breaks, social security benefits, etc.  In fact, THAT side comes whether we would have married in the church, on the beach, or at the county court via “civic ceremony” with a judge marrying us.  In fact, as the laws stand now, ATHEISTS can get married, get a marriage license, and there is no limitation to their access.  Marriage is a legal definition of a status, not just a religious profession of love, already in our country.  So implying that this “religion only” policy needs to be protected is not valid and, to me, means it is being requested to exclude a specific group of people.  That is not equality.
  • But you may say, okay Gina, I don’t dispute most of the above at all.  But bend a little – Civil Unions will be the same under the law.  But I contend, why the need for “segregation” of groups of people if the law has the same rights?  What if I got a job and my new boss didn’t know I was a lesbian and his personal beliefs were that gays go to hell (and he has a right to believe that)?  Let’s say when I turned in my documents for  insurance, he sees that I have a Civil Union instead of a Marriage certificate?  Whether or not he acts on this knowledge is not the point – I have been put in a place of “being different” than my coworker for no other reason than to “protect religion/marriage”.  I contend that is not equality.  Just as if a religion, who requires boys to be circumcised as a religious right, demand birth certificates for those who choose to NOT circumcise  a “Civil Certificate” instead of a “Birth Certificate”.  Whether or not you agree, at the very core we are segregating based on religious beliefs and that is not equality under our Constitution.
  • I do not accept that my legal marriage destroys your marriage, if I am allowed legally to have one – any more than a drug addict causes you to take drugs.  It still allows you to believe that same-sex marriage is wrong and you have the right to never, ever do it yourself.  Further, your status of a legally married person does not get limited, watered down.  When I got married legally in the State of New York, there was not a line of straight married couples whose marriages became less meaningful, real, or legal.  In fact, my very same-sex RELATIONSHIP has not changed anything about yours.  But, you might argue the “idea and traditions will be shattered”.  Again, what about all those atheists getting married?  What about multiple marriages after multiple divorces?   What aren’t you seeking to block THOSE hinderances to “traditional marriage”.  What is YOUR traditional marriage definition?  I have two co-workers who can’t agree on this; one says it means never getting divorced and staying married until you die.  The other says it means marriage between a man and a woman.  When I asked why both believe that, they say, “it’s always been that way”.  (I won’t argue that divorce has been around since Moses’ time – that is another conversation all together!).  You get the drift – why does ONE view get escalated above others?  What makes it truly right?  Do we, as Americans, demand that every law tie directly back to OUR version of the Bible?  That is not upholding the Constitution to me, because my view is that all Americans have a right to Religious Freedom, which includes NOT believing what I believe or anything else.  So using Biblical Principles (for which I follow closely, by the way) to define marriage as between one man and one woman “as God intended” is in direct contrast with Freedom of Religion.
  • This whole premise just really categorizes Americans, which is really a duplication of something I’ve already said.  But WHY do we as Americans fight so hard to keep everyone in boxes, either to elevate or demonize?  Why can’t EVERYONE sit at the counter for lunch?  Why, instead, or we suggesting that we build TWO counters – one for straights, one for gays – and then everyone will be happy?  Because that right away creates TWO lines to get into the restaurant (or some point of “weeding out” straights and gays).  And that makes it clear, the MAJORITY of straight people want me to stay away from them.  And that is not equality.
  • To sum it up, Civil Unions (to ME) says “your union is not moral enough/sacred enough/accepted enough/mainstream enough/whatever enough to be called a marriage”.  And that is not equality.  And that is not American.

So, now I need to go to work, where I pay my taxes each paycheck like any good American.  And this American is looking forward to the day that I can get married, like my co-worker that sits next to me, looks like me, works like me, and maybe even votes like me.  But the laws today say they have something I don’t, even as I pay taxes, avoid breaking the law, etc.  I can appreciate ANY American not liking my sexual orientation and agree it’s not cool when LGBT shove it in people’s faces.  But I don’t like a lot of things about Americans around me (and I am not talking about “illegal activity”) but is it okay for me to create law after law to control things I don’t like?  No smoking, no more fast food and fat Americans, no more broccoli because it’s just gross, my parents never ate sushi so why should Americans?  You get it.  America is not one to dictate our beliefs, but this whole “traditional marriage” thing smells of dictatorship to me – not the belief part, but the forcing those beliefs on all Americans.

Again, I am curious as to WHY you believe what you do.  But please remember to be kind!  And thanks for honoring my right to freedom of speech.

Chick-Fil-A – The Right to An Opinion

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

I have no issue with Mr. Cathy or anyone else sharing their opinion.  Lord knows, I’ve spent a week or so reading how I am repugnant, an abomination, want to kill Christians or at least persecute their faith, and a whole lot of other claims that are, in a word, ridiculous.  And in another word, hurtful.  But even still, that’s Mr. Cathy’s right as an American to believe what he wants, spend what he has on whatever law or platform, share it with a religious publication, etc……

But I cannot ignore this anymore.  And instead of trying to explain MY beliefs or insist that me SHARING them is not trying to shut up the Christian Platform……I will instead share this post.  Please read it with an open mind, at least as my friend.

Dealing With Hysteria

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Okay, I almost WISH I could be treated for Hysteria, but then what would you think of me?

I am instead referring to two things; first, the “catch all” diagnosis of pretty much every female symptom that may arise and their related treatment for centuries, and secondly the movie Hysteria, which chronicles real events in the fictional realm.  This was a funny, frustrating, and eye opening movie that had a pretty good story line, though some aspects were a bit easy to predict.  However, it DOES bring to mind a big part of world history and also the creation and continued popularity of the “electric massager”.  Brand names have included the “Jolly Molly”, among others.

I will not talk much more about this movie or the related topic, but feel free to follow the link and subsequent links to find out more!  And women, unite!  Let’s stick together and fight that hysteria!  🙂

Hear Hear for the Big C!

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

That would be “courtesy”!

cour·te·sy/ˈkərtəsē/

Noun:
  1. The showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior toward others.
  2. A polite speech or action, esp. one required by convention.
I have touched on this topic a time or two, and as was the case in previous years, today I am really talking about the LACK of courtesy that exists today (at least in my viewable world).  Some recent examples of this sad phenomenon:
  • Being pushed by a grown man as he fought to get into the airport tram ahead of me
  • People walking through doors and not spending 1.25 seconds to hold it open for the directly person behind them
  • Consistently slamming the door leading to your shared office when entering or existing, over and over again, even though its been shared that it is loud and disruptive
  • Tailgating
  • Just being oblivious – for example, walking through a grocery store as if no one else is around, your cart is not hitting others, your stopping abruptly has no consequences, and merging into “main aisles” is non existent.
  • Not offering others something when you’re getting something to drink
  • Not waiting for everyone to be served at a group meal before starting to eat
  • Using other’s items without their permission
  • Always talking about yourself and never listening to others’ stories

You get the drift.  And let me tell you, I have been guilty of most of the above items in my life, so this post is NOT “Gina is perfect”.  But I guess I just wanted to remind myself and maybe the 2.78 readers here that it takes US to spread courtesy to those around us.  It doesn’t start when someone ELSE does it (although I admit it doesn’t hurt) but in reality we can only control ourselves.  I am adding COURTESY to my daily desire to walk in the Love of Christ, because they are first cousins.  And I hope that you can do so as well.

Hear hear for courtesy!

Experiencing The Small Things

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

This weekend there was a bit of recovery for me.  Recovery from my surgery, recovery from this weird stomachache thing.  Refreshing.  Relaxing.  Retiring.

And, though it does seem weird to be here, I am learning to SEE and HEAR things that I normally miss while in my normal focused “busy-ness” of life.  My cat cleans himself…..a lot!  There are tons of birds in my backyard and their singing has soothed my spirit several times this weekend.  The kids wrestle more than I realized.  Deana receives lots of texts.  Even on FB pages focused on grace, there is lots of judgment.  And the list goes on…..

I guess I am saying, “nothing special” occurred this weekend.  No riveting stories or monumental changes splashed their way into my mind, emotions, or face.  Yet…….I feel more whole somehow.  More serene.  More balanced.

Maybe there IS something to experiencing the small things in our life!  Maybe it doesn’t need to include expensive toys or elaborate trips or extensive activities that suck the energy out of all involved.  Maybe it’s sitting next to the one you love, not really even saying anything with words but knowing it’s the best seat in the world.  Maybe its hearing the giggles of your children and wondering at their unending creativity and ability to make fun out of almost nothing.  Maybe its looking at your teenage son, so tall now, and listening to his recap of his weekend’s baseball games.  Maybe its taking a moment to realize how good you really DO have it, even for just a moment, and smiling with a joy that lives in the very core of your being.

And that, my friend, is when I realized how much the Lord really, truly loves me – for through this all I know He has pulled me onto His very lap and loved me beyond words!  🙂

Observations of a (No Longer) Dormant Traveler

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

So I was fortunate to attend a conference this past week for the main software I support at work.  Said conference took place in beautiful Marietta, GA.  But this post is going to reflect on the travel-related portion of said trip!

Now, based on my older posts here, you know I used to have significant business travel in my career.  Not so with this new job, this was my first trip.  And overall it was not that bad and, let’s face it, conferences are pretty cool.  Free food, free alcohol, and you get to chat with mutual software users and they offer lots of dirt!  So, as far as business traveling goes, this is top of the list.

It started fairly early Wednesday at DFW Airport, Terminal E.  I have to say this leg was pretty uneventful until I went to security.  I am used to FLYING through security at DFW – 5 minutes tops – so I was surprised that the security for the Spirit Airlines area was LONG!  45 minutes long!  I almost got nervous, except for the fact I am pretty anal about getting to the airport early (can I say anal here?) so the safety buffer I usually build in saved me.  But while in line I saw some interesting things.

First, there was an older couple being dropped off by their middle aged son (and I can say that, because I will admit, he was around MY age.  And yes, I am slowly accepting I am middle aged).  They were Spanish nationals based on the passports I viewed as they said their goodbyes before the security line (which ran about 50 feet from the actual security area) lead into the roped off area.  But what REALLY caught my eye was the mother, who was fighting valiantly not to cry, but instead silently sobbed, her body racking with spasms, as her son and husband discussed the details of the upcoming roped off maze of the security line in Spanish.  My heart soared with compassion and pity for this woman as I imagined her thinking this may be the last time she will be able to see her son, as she and her husband were obviously in their late 70’s and may not be able to make the long flight again.  Her son and husband seemed oblivious to her pain, though it was not malicious, nor was her tears dramatic in nature.  I watched her anguish evolve with each bend of the security line, as we passed each other every few minutes, and wanted to reach out and whisper, “Entiendo (I understand).”  Over and over this overcame me, as I silently prayed for the peace of the Lord to touch her love and her heart, until at last I was distracted with the busy tasks of loading my items onto the actual conveyor of security.  My heart melted as I saw her son standing just on the other side of the rope, having waited for nearly an hour, saying one last goodbye to his parents, especially to his mother.

The emotions didn’t last long as I realized I was pretty darn close to calling time for my plane boarding, so warm feelings and all aside, Gina got her butt to my gate.  And I have to say, “Budget Spirit Airlines” do some things right, but I give a shout out to Johnny for whatever he did to get us in Zone 1 and in the emergency lane on the plane!  EASY, CHEESY!  But the airline otherwise, well, is “very different”.  EVERYTHING costs extra!  Want to check in at the airport and print your boarding pass there?  $5.  Want some water during the flight?  Pass the moolah!  Seriously!  But the plane itself was very nice and the flight was on time.

Johnny, who actually didn’t make this trip after all, warned me about the size and perceived chaos of Atlanta Airport and how to make my way to the rental car area.  It was very helpful, and I survived without a scratch!  Thanks Johnny!  I was able to drive to my company’s Atlanta plant and meet some of the people I support on a daily basis and also received an amazing tour of the manufacturing facility.  Then, to the beautiful Marietta Hilton for my stay and conference!  And it also included historical Brumby Hall & Gardens!

This hotel is quite beautiful actually!  And I have nothing but great things to say about almost EVERYTHING – the art lining the walls throughout, the decor, the meeting rooms, the hotel rooms themselves, the food, the staff, the city golf course that I was able to view from my room each day……the list goes on!  The only downside was that, at least on my floor, there was NO insolation between rooms!  Night one was tough as I had an all night TV watcher and 2am phone converser.  Night two was quiet and nice!  🙂

One snag – a flat tire on my rental car.  Did you know if you waive the rental car insurance, flat tires are not covered?  I didn’t know that, either.  And I still can’t lift due to my surgery, and who wants to change a freaking tire anyway?  So $49 bucks later, it was changed.  I am very blessed with this, however, because it could have come to my attention right when I NEEDED to leave for the airport!  However, by the Grace of God, I was compelled to take my luggage out to the car at 7:15am and saw the tire.  So it was easy to get someone out, attend the last day of the conference, and there was really not much stress added.

Now, heading home was a bit stressful, at least a little bit.  The address of the rental car facility was NOT the “real” location of the return area.  Caused a bit of a stressful moment, but fortunately I found a security guard at the “mailing address” to give me some directions.  I gave myself a HUGE buffer going home as Johnny laid out the security structure of Atlanta and what not.  So it wasn’t too scary once I got in the airport.  What WAS scary were the men travelers!  I mean SERIOUSLY, they were, how shall I say this?  RUDE!  I have never been man handled, pushed, bumped, or otherwise trampled upon more in my life!  And I’ve been to Europe and Russia!  I was SHOCKED!  In fact, a man actually pushed me aside so that he could get on the airport tram ahead of me!  And all the limited seats on the tram were filled with YOUNG men as woman stood around.  Maybe I am just old fashioned, but even I won’t sit down if there is an older couple standing.  Now, let me say that I do NOT think these were “Atlanta Men”, but travelers in this airport.  Maybe they didn’t know about the security or were stressed about missing their planes, but I was very discouraged about the lack of chivalry across the board during my route to Terminal D.

One amazing realization really happened twice on this trip – the TSA is not as concerned about some things as I expected.  First flight, I realized I had packed a small Purell container that I did NOT put in the “liquid bag” for screening, but it did not raise any problem.  Going home, I didn’t realize a gift that was handed out at the conference contained liquid, which also was packed and didn’t raise a flag.  Fortunately, it didn’t hold things up and no harm, no foul.  But I would still recommend you follow the rules!  🙂  Said from the person years ago who had carried a fork in her purse through 3 airports with no problem, even unaware it was there, and almost got arrested in Mexico when they found it.  🙂

So Gina is safe and sound and hanging with her family!  And she can now share all sort of great ideas for the software, don’t forget about that!  🙂

The Secret Ingredient – Praise

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

As presented to Crossroads Community Church 3/11/12:

I believe that Jesus Christ has provided us Grace, and that term really means GRACE TO LIVE or EVERYDAY GRACE, not just grace for salvation.

  • This is the kind of grace that teaches you how to live, guiding you into paths of righteousness, free from the influence of the law
    • Titus 2:11-12 – For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.
  • This is grace that causes you to grow in your relationship with the Lord, and in your knowledge of who He is
    • 2 Peter 1:2 – Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
  • This is also the grace that motivates our service and our stewardship. It doesn’t drive; it leads. This grace permeates us and causes us to drop the hammer of judgment, and throw wide the doors of acceptance, laying a garment of “manifold grace” over the shoulders of the world
    • 1 Peter 4:10 – Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Yet I also know there’s more to my walk with the Lord than just…….sitting in Grace.  Just sucking up that grace for my own benefit, even more than serving others in simple ways here and there.  In Matthew 5, Jesus calls us “salt”.  Salt has healing properties and we all know it adds some good flavor to many of the foods we eat.  Jesus explained in Matt 5:15 – But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

This verse should not be used to imply we can be cast out of heaven, for John 6:37 Jesus tell us “All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.”  But I DO believe Jesus is clear that if we as believers have no “flavoring” we are not much use to the world.  And if you think about it, the saltier something we eat is, the more thirsty we get……and then I realize the following:

Our excitement, even when life is falling around us for one thing or another, should make people around us want to have what we’ve got.  In other words, they should get thirsty for what we have. That’s true for other believers around us as well as those who don’t know the Lord.  We should act and live in a way that others around us want to be near us.    However, I have been pretty hard to be around lately, and that pushes people away.  Or sometimes we Christians think we need to act “holy” or “pious” as a sign that we are doing something right, but Jesus basically says, “If you aren’t making a sinner thirsty once in a while, what good are you?”

Then there is the whole seed parable that Jesus taught us in Luke 8:11b-15:

The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

I want to share that we have the greatest gift inside of us that the world could ever want – again, not just for salvation (which is a huge deal), but also for our entire lives. This gift should permeate every aspect of our lives and cause the thirt, bless those around us, make others want what we have in a good and loving way…….and just rock.

So I’ve set up the premise as follows:

  • Grace is real and powerful us every day, not just at the point of salvation.
  • As followers of Christ, we have assurance in His saving grace forever
  • We are called to be the salt to others
  • And by being that salt, I want to cause those around me to have thirst for the truth I have in Christ!
  • The knowledge of the Grace of Christ is a great gift.
  • The Word of God is a seed and just because we believe, doesn’t mean we are persevering to produce a good crop.

Here’s the deal – for months and months, if not years, I have gotten these truths and hidden in my heart and felt good about it.  I have shared these truths with others, even in this very church, and felt good about it.  Yet, I didn’t allow the truths I had learned to change me, to affect my life or really those around me.  Sure, they did in SOME ways, but more superficially than I would have liked.  The roots, often, are very shallow for me.  And that got me to thinking – I could easily be put into the category of “no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot” or “I am choked by life’s worries, and do not mature.”

Self-reflection at this point can be very painful, even overwhelming.  I can say for my part that it became quite easy to put every aspect of my life and motivations under the microscope and find ways to be disgusted with my life and walk with Christ.  I am going to be candid and share that all this accomplished for me was to build layer upon layer of guilt, disgust, anger, self loathing…….you get the idea.  Then I would beat myself up for not remembering the truth of who I am in Christ, which just added another layer of guilt to the quagmire.

Hear me – I DON’T WANT TO BE GOOD FOR NOTHING!  But sometimes self reflection just doesn’t propel you to be good!  Sometimes it perpetuates the same type of junk, if not worse.

So for a few weeks I’ve been in this weird place of trying to figure out how to move from beating myself up, but also away from KNOWING all these cool things and not offering any flavor to others or maturing in the knowledge that Christ has given me.

My revelation may surprise you, maybe not.  But we are going to walk through this together today, collectively.

It really started a few days ago.  I was still befuddled with this purgatory of sorts I had created for myself – almost feeling like I was swimming in quicksand – when I got a text from Stephanie on 2/29:

Good morning sis and g!!! Interview went good yesterday and the lady sent my resume to the company so I will hear back either today or tomorrow.  Plus we have a guy coming over tonight to check out the room for rent for a 6 month lease…God is amazing!!!!!!

 Then a few days later she sent:

Good morning sis and g……praise report……Michael went to a repair shop in Sachse and instead of a quote of $389 to fix my TV it is $159……God is good and He provides!!!!!!!

Now the piece I am missing about these two is that Stephanie did NOT get the job she interviewed for.  Yet, you can see from her text that she doesn’t say “I am so bummed, I didn’t get the job, things are just not going my way.”  Instead, she is continually viewing, absorbing, and accepting the blessings that surround her!  Not only that, but she gives the credit where the credit is due – to our God!!!!!

1 Chronicles 16:8 says, “Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name;  make known among the nations what he has done. “

Psalm 30:11-12 says: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.   LORD my God, I will praise you forever.”

With two little texts, I realized that when we focus on our failure, other people’s failures, it’s easy to lose sight of God.  OR start thinking that’s how God views US.  However, when we take the time to see and acknowledge all the blessings around us – big and small (Pastor Tim’s hose) – it’s easy to see the Truth of who Jesus is in our lives as well as our part in it.  And before you can stop and think, you become that salt Jesus was talking about!

I mean, wouldn’t you agree that the texts I received from Stephanie caused me to get thirty?  She was the salt!

It reminds me that I need to stop focusing on the devil of Matthew chapter 4 who tempts Christ by saying ““If you are the Son of God”, and instead start focusing on Jesus who in Matthew chapter 3 clearly understood and heard “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”  I am reminded that I am crucified with Christ, I am loved mightily by God, and His blessings are abundant and I AM THE CHILD OF GOD, so if and when the devil tempts me, I know I can fight back!

So I am going to do something very different this morning – I am going to take the time to share specific things God has done in my life that have blessed me, for I am so thankful for Him!  As you hear these stories, focus on the positive.  Think about blessings in your life as well. 

1984 – I was a new Christian, about 17 years old, and I was on fire for Christ.  The only problem was my church was constantly preaching that the end was near.  I was torn, because I really didn’t want Jesus to come and take me home – I wanted to graduate from high school, get married……have kids.  And then I felt guilty for wanting those things.  One night I cried in the dark, praying for the Lord to ease my desire for these things when suddenly a small, tiny light appeared on the ceiling.  I stopped crying, rubbed my eyes, and thought to myself, “I am seeing things.”  But the light continued to grow in size as well as brightness, until I suddenly felt something enclose me.  Something filled with joy and peace beyond any words I can utilize.  Very quickly I began to praise the Lord and get SO EXCITED that He was really, really coming and all other concerns or desires faded away to nothing.  And then it stopped, as if it never happened.  As I looked around the completely dark room, which moments before was bathed in light, I heard a small voice say “Don’t worry, you’ll be ready when I come.”  Thank you Jesus for loving me so much that you met me where I was and blessed me with your love, assuring me of your place in my life.

….My God hears the cry of my heart.

Late 80’s – I was driving on a notorious section of an Orange County, CA freeway – it’s narrow and usually heavily congested.  I was in the carpool lane and this specific section often included people who were sitting in the fast lane jumping into the carpool lane – can you imagine a car popping out when you’re going over 50 MPH?  It was crazy.  On this particular day, I was driving my 1977 Chevy Caprice Classic (aka cop car) going about 50 and sure enough, despite my caution, a car pulled out in front of me and BAM!  I hit them.  Yet, I was amazed when the car took off!  I followed for a long time, honked my horn, but also was amazed that there didn’t appear to be any damage on their Honda Accord bumper.  Finally, I exited, pulled off the freeway, and checked out my own car.  THERE WAS NOT A SCRATCH ON THE CAR!!!!  I was NOT alone – both of us in the car felt the jolt of hitting the car, both were jerked.  All I can say is that the Lord protected me that day and my guardian angel was a bit thinner.

….My God is my Protector.

1994 – My Dad, who was a tough Harley rider back then, was at work at was not feeling well – even his co-workers noticed he didn’t look that great.  He actually conceded to allow his boss to call the paramedics, which was VERY unusually for my “tough guy Dad”.  And yet, they found nothing wrong with my Dad once they checked him over.  Still, as the day progressed, he didn’t feel better and – for the second time, miraculously admitted he needed help and asked to be taken to the hospital.  When there he was brought immediately into ER (a miracle in itself in Southern California) and just as they started putting on the EKG pads to see what was happening, my Dad went into full cardiac arrest.  It was so bad that the doctors didn’t even take the time to put the gel on the defibrillator and ended up burning my Dad’s chest.  However, my Dad was brought back and it still alive today – some would contend that he’s healthier now than then! 

….My God has perfect timing.

2008 – through circumstances that are best described as a snowball scene of homophobia and fear, I was outed at the Christian organization I had worked at for 6 years.  Deciding I would not hide my lifestyle any longer, but clearly take the stance that my personal love life had no bearing on my professional position, I was put through a tough time.  Ultimately, a very lucrative position was in line as I watched my boss (who supported me) and others lose their jobs for no other reason than admitting they knew I was a lesbian.  I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown when I got a real and palpable sense that I would not be hurt in the situation, though I didn’t know what that meant.  Without getting into all the details, I did leave my job, but not before getting a year’s salary!

2010 – After being unemployed for 18 months, and at the very end of her unemployment insurance, Deana was facing a fearful situation (as was I) – how would we make it?  She had been applying for job and job and had also gotten to Texas teaching credential, but nothing was biting.  Then, through networking with Todd, Deana interviewed with the City of Dallas and received a job almost to the day her unemployment, she had a job which she holds to this day.

….My God is My Provider

My house is a miracle, my five kids are miracles, we have more friends here in Texas in two years (thanks in large part to this congregation) than we ever had in California.  We are blessed left and right.

I would encourage you, especially if it feels like you can’t do anything right OR life is falling around you……look for the blessings in your life.  You WILL find at least one!  And when you do, share it with someone!