Okay, so maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night…..it was hot, I tossed and turned…..and the alarm went off WAY too early this morning! But Ken and I will be leaving shortly for some fun surfing so things will be okay (and least, after I sip the coffee I just brought to the table!)
There has been an “issue” that has been bothering as of late. Well, probably for months, but it’s been gnawing at me more readily lately. Not sure why, but it has. Sometimes the thing called “religion” sucks! I mean, don’t get me wrong…..I have an intimate and real relationship with Jesus – without him I do not think I would have survived the crap that has been the last several months of my life. I am NOT talking about faith, God, or those sorts of things. I am talking about the dogma, the organized structures that are used to condemn, persecute, destroy…..and the worst part for me, in the name of my Lord.
I believe we need parameters to live by, standards to measure against, and the intelligence to know that we will surely miss the mark over and over again but are saved by Grace. Yet, I have witnessed a personal exodus from my life that is directly tied to RELIGION. Some have not been malicious, and perhaps just tied to the fact that the people involved don’t see me everyday like they used to. But harder for me to move past is the way that my employer used RELIGION to treat me like a second class citizen, outright harassing me, putting me through a five hour interrogation without lunch breaks or food, being treated “guilty until I (emphasis on me) prove my innocence”, and such. Why am I bringing this up now? Hmmmm. I see the pattern that my past employer implemented against me all over most organized religions – at that makes me very sad. But worse than that, I see the righteous justification to treating brothers or sisters in Christ like – excuse my French – holy crap. Often times, or at least in my case, after the same persecutors had treated me like a “rising star”. However, it seems that this treatment is not isolated, and that perhaps is why the wounds I feel haven’t had much time to heal.
I don’t know how to resolve this really. I guess I am hoping that, by writing out the words, this angst deep within me will be exorcised. Or the feeling of unfairness will diminish from my soul. Or, most likely, I just feel like a pity party today……..
On this note, here is an excerpt from John Shore’s blog (see link to the right) – it was a comment he received from a woman who struggled win unloving parents. However, she moved into the treatment she received from Christians……tough words, however I believe many deal with this sort of thing often:
“I must say I do not like my parents. I am trying to return to God but I really need some Christians to show me that unconditional LOVE does exist. That it’s possible for someone not to judge you because you are different, unsocial or had a rotten life, and for them not to fear who I am might “rub off on them.” I can’t say I have met many Christians of this kind. Mostly I hear from them how everyone outside of their little sect is going to Hell and wrong. In the four years I have been living in our town I have had ONE Christian person reach out to me unconditionally and lovingly. I was like a starving skeleton eating food for the first time in thirty years. I didn’t think Christians wanted anyone new around them or anyone so hurt they cannot seem to understand how deep it goes. I wonder if there really are Christian who care anymore. Not in my town I guess. Only one person at all, I guess.
I guess Christians have become too frightened to reach out to others in need. Somehow a sick wounded bleeding person is supposed to crawl to a church and beg for a little help. I wonder if Jesus would have slunk back and kept his mouth shut because others might punish him for sharing the gospel. I guess not because he died for us. I am trying to relate that to me.”
I will probably analyze this more later, but for now I must get ready to surf, dude! I will bring my camera today!