Pondering Life

Wow, such an imposing title, AND action! How does one actually ponder life, when each day we experience the unknown? I mean, we might do the same thing – get up, go potty, have coffee, brush teeth….. – but surprises happen to form that day that you didn’t expect. I guess that’s what makes life exciting or sometimes even stressful! So I guess that’s where the pondering comes in…..but alas, I am traveling down yet another tangent.

I’m not sure exactly why I chose to begin writing this subject; maybe it’s my life lately. There is my mom’s health (or lack thereof), the paramount changes in my friendships and employer, the joy of seeing my kids grow and change, the feeling to be enveloped by the love of Christ. A lot has been going on for sure. Some of these feed my soul while others still ring with loss, pain, and even anger. And, that’s okay…….that’s life.

But all does not feed the downer mood that seems to be emanating from the intro to this post!

Tomorrow, my daughter – and oldest child – is graduating from high school! Yesterday, as I sat in my car eating lunch (Taco Bell – lunch of champions), it hit me like a ton of bricks that “just yesterday” I was walking her to kindergarten! I remember worrying about her leaving me, she was so attached to me, worrying that she would cry or freak out or whatever. Yet, she shooed me from the door, blew me off in fact, and the rest is history! She has excelled from that day forward, sometimes crying to me about a friendship gone sour or excitedly telling me wonderful news. I remember her hating her glasses and winning first place in the entire 6th grade spelling bee. I remember going to career day when she was in 8th grade and seeing her jammed into her math class (and where, incidentally, a fireman there for career day asked me out!) I remember the “awkward years” when she died to be seen around me and begged me not to embarrass her. I remember years of fun when she began to play basketball and I was honored to be able to coach her.  Wow, what a shooter!  She was my best shooting guard and, even when she grew beyond my coaching, remained the 3 point guru!  I will always remember that amazing “last second, 3/4 court, hit the rim, fly high into the air, 3 point game winning shot”!  I remember watching her at Canyon when she was on the JV team……whenever she got the ball so many dads in the crowd would scream “There she goes, here comes the 3 pointer!”.  I remember her starting high school, going to her first dance, and growing into a woman right before my eyes. I remember the subtle changes that began to form a friend as well as a daughter. Yet, I am still amazed today to realize my daughter, beautiful Kirstie, is about to graduate from high school with honors, confidence, a great head on her shoulders, and a wonderful loving heart. Oh, and I am proud to acknowledge that she is also LEFT HANDED!

Thank you for putting up with my goofiness. Thank you for calling me “ma”. Thanks for sending me texts, which make me feel so popular. Thanks for letting me call you Teet all these years, even when your friends teased you (tease you?). Thanks for showing me how to play Guitar Hero, even though I suck compared to you. Thanks for supporting me on my dark days and making me laugh so hard on others. Thanks for all the awesome memories as well as those yet formed. Thank you for being YOU, my beautiful little girl.

Kirstie – I am so proud of you! Words cannot express how I feel and how happy I am to be your mother. I love you! You have been a great student, a loving sister, and the best daughter I could ever ask for. I love you!

2 thoughts on “Pondering Life

  1. Congratulations to Kirstie on her graduation. And congratulations to you and Egdar for raising such a beautiful & talented child in these trying times. It is a great accomplishment to raise a child in our society of drug abusing, drinking, terribly disrespectful and completely unmotivated children that I see all around. God bless all of you.

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