Today I went to visit my mother with Deana and Sophia – here we are walking into the apartment building where she lives.

My mother has advanced COPD – Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Many will recognize emphysema more than this term, but it rolls into her disease many other factors that she deals with everyday. Bottom line, she has about 11% use of her lungs and her quality of life is not very pleasant. She has a grocery list of other ailments, including dementia, diabetes, and a heart condition. She is still a spitfire, however. Here she is with me and Sophia:

My mother has also painted for many, many years. While many of my favorites are gone, here are pics are a few of them that I have loved over the years:

I walked into this visit with excitement, even joy. But, without getting into too many of the details, I have left with a heavy heart. Part of it was seeing her in her present condition, while other aspects revolve around many of the things that have been present my entire life. All of it, despite the turmoil I am experiencing right now, make up my mother. I am overall glad that I went, but honestly struggling with the aftermath. I have too many crashing thoughts to articulate them well here, but suffice it to say – today, visiting my mother, has been difficult for me.