An Apology to my Facebook Friends

September 14, 2015June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / Leave a comment

That’s right, it’s me – Gina – apologizing to you all in a public forum, without excuse or justifications. And the reason is, in recent months I’ve been very open about my views on Facebook (FB) about a number of subjects, including the Confederate Flag, the SCOTUS decision regarding same-sex marriage equality, and most recently the Kim Davis media frenzy. It’s not so much that I think it was wrong that I shared my feelings – no, I think sharing when done without belligerence is often good for myself and others. However, my sharing was manifested 100% from the heart of my natural state as opposed to the state I believe I’ve been taken as a follower of Christ. And because this revelation has taken me a few weeks to encompass in my mind and heart, I am posting it here on my blog so that I can include my thoughts as an encouragement for myself as well as others. Because, I think, others may easily manifest their thoughts as readily in the natural as I do.

Let me say many of these concepts I’ve personally taught at my old church and I was slapped awake by these ideas by my own notes, which I recently stumbled upon. Many of the thoughts I derived from a sermon I heard several years ago given by Paul White. So, I could be sad that I have “fallen from grace” and gone back to my own “law driven ways”, but instead I will just share my journey. Thank you for reading my post and considering this trip I’ve been on.

We all like to try to take the high road, to act in an acceptable way, to be kind and loving and thought of in nice terms. And yet, I think all of us can feel justified for responding to attacks (even if only perceived). In that context, and to avoid a super duper long blog post, let me define three ways human actions manifest themselves on the earth:

Through the demonic – You treat me good, I return evil. This is not just a reference to The Exorcist or other spiritually “freak me out” actions. Instead, it’s more like a warning my mom always told me when I was younger, “Gina,” she’d warn, “never stop to help someone on the side of the road because they might be pretending to have an issue and they really are a serial killer.” So, in this example, someone could stop to help someone on the side of the road (offer good), but in return they are killed (return of evil). While this is an extreme example, I think there are often “demonic” activities that occur everyday where someone does something nice and someone returns a less than nice or even mean reaction.

Through the natural – this is where I usually live; you treat me well, I treat you well. You treat me bad, I will treat you bad. It’s pretty simple, we mirror each other and if you’re a jerk I will feel totally justified in being a jerk back to you. I love those who love me, and despise those who despise me. This happens often when someone cuts me off on the highway and I have no trouble showing my discontent. In recent weeks, I have been compelled to think the very worst of Kim Davis, who I perceived as a hypocrite, judgmental and a cherry picker of scripture. I felt totally justified in considering her a poor example of a Christian for her actions while doing many of the things I was railing against as I assembled my words of condemnation against her. I laughed as others made fun of her appearance, I shook my head when her own sin was exposed. In a phrase, I was just as judgmental and hypocritical as she was, just not on such a large media platform.

Through the spiritual, aka “The Highway” – you treat me well, I treat you well. You treat me bad, I treat you good. Basically, no matter what you throw at me, I will return love and goodness. And, in my own power this is utterly impossible, as I’ve proven quite well in recent weeks. But that’s not to say it is impossible.

So, let’s establish some Truth based on Scripture. First, I have often thought the Kingdom of Heaven or of God was far off or something I would see after I died. But the Word explains it very differently. In Matthew 4:23 (ESV), when Jesus first started his earthly ministry the following was said (emphasis mine):

And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people.

Notice here Jesus FIRST proclaimed the gospel of the kingdom, and THEN people started being healed. He didn’t heal the people in order to proclaim/show the gospel of the kingdom.

Then, in Acts 1:1-3 (ESV), which records the end of Jesus’ earthly ministry, after He was crucified, died, and rose from the grave, this was said (again, emphasis mine):

In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. He presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God.

There is power in the Kingdom and Jesus spoke about it constantly, from the beginning of His earthly ministry to the very end. Throughout the gospels it is recorded as being said “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand”. It is not far off, it is not coming later……it is as close as my hand and it is here, now. And there is power – healing power, power to change us and the world, and it is given to us freely through Jesus Christ. I want this power in my life. I want to live knowing I manifest myself in the Kingdom and act as if I belong in the Kingdom……not when I die or when I reach some level of spiritual maturity as if it will show up some day like a bill in the mail.

And yet, in Matthew 5:3 (ESV) at the very beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said this:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

And with that, I often freak out because, in many ways all I try to do is be more spiritual. To be more INTELLIGENT when it comes to scriptures and theology and loving my neighbors and walking in this Truth, etc. etc. etc. And yet, Jesus Himself said in order to find the kingdom of heaven, I must be poor in spirit. And He said it in the present tense “theirs IS the kingdom”, not “theirs WILL BE the kingdom”. And I believe this truly means I need to get to the end of myself and realize…….I can’t get there. Not at all. I can try to be very holy, very spiritual, very cerebral even in my understanding of God and His Word, but all I ever get by my own effort and actions is the power to manifest my life in the natural. But, when I realize this and honestly say “I can’t do it, no matter how hard I try”, THAT is when Jesus smiles and says, “Now we will get somewhere”. Because ONLY JESUS can carry us into the kingdom of heaven (as in the right now, right here version, not the place when we die).

So, as I did a few years ago, I began to give up on trying to be spiritual, of trying to manifest my interactions with others through “the Highway”. Because I am poor in spirit and do not have the means in which to get there. And I will tell you, when I begin to realize and act with this Truth, when my poverty is spirit is allowed to be real, THAT is when I begin to float to the kingdom of heaven with my Lord.

Have you ever seen The Passion of the Christ? It shows Jesus being tortured, beaten, ridiculed……it is so graphic I often cry and always get very angry. In that anger I want so badly for Christ to call His legions of angels down and destroy the Roman Soldiers and the Jewish leadership who were persecuting Him. I think many of us would accept and understand if Jesus reacted that way, for He was completely undeserving of such horrible treatment. Like so many of the politicians and Christians and LGBT folk do today; we scream out and demand our rights and insist that we ARE right and that we represent God and demand others see His personality and rules and actions through our eyes and explanations. We claim to be persecuted and declare ourselves right to demand punishment for those who have hurt us. We demand everyone should be held accountable to our views of our religion and even expect the laws of this land to reflect those morals and rules. In God’s name we scream and get public attention and cause thousands of online debates and rancid comments and angry outbursts and we feel justified and righteous as we do it. Many of us actually PRAY that God will strike down entire countries or groups of people who we decide deserve to be sent to hell. I could add several links to professing Christians do so over and over again, but I won’t. So I don’t think it is far fetched to imagine Jesus jumping off the cross and laying all those who persecuted Him flat on the ground and, truthfully, many of us would cheer and scream in joy had He done so. In our natural core, we are often Zealots ready for blood.

But if Jesus really did react like that, He would be just like you and me. He’d be walking in the natural. He’d say “you treat me good, I treat you good. You treat me bad, I treat you bad.” He’d be no different or better than you, or me, or any of us who are nothing in our own power than natural thinkers and actors.

But in reality, Jesus walked or manifested Himself on “the Highway” or “the Kingdom Way”; even after ALL that had been done to Him, the humiliation and pain He went through despite His innocence, He called out to God and said, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.” They treated Jesus badly, and yet He returned good by not only asking for their forgiveness, but He gave an excuse for them! The Roman soldiers and the Jewish leaders hadn’t even ASKED for forgiveness – they had not repented for their actions – and yet Jesus asked for their forgiveness! Yet we, as Christians, often condemn others and point out their sin, emphasize their sin actually, justifying why they do not deserve forgiveness and absolutely deserve no kindness, empathy, or love.

Even before His torture, when the Roman soldiers came to the Garden to arrest Jesus and Peter cut the ear off the soldier, Jesus did not return their bad with evil. He didn’t say “You lost your ear because you meant to harm me with this arrest, so that’s what you get.” No, He turned the bad to good by rebuking Peter and healing the soldier’s ear, without any price or request or demands from the soldier. He returned bad with good.

The truth is, when the controversial subjects have arisen around me lately, I have picked up the sword like Peter and started swinging. I felt just a justified in my actions as Peter did with his sword, as he lovingly and passionately protected the Lord he loved. I can even claim my actions are for my Lord, the but truth is those actions have moved me far away from the actions of Jesus and have placed me right back into the natural. I have put myself in a place of direct rebuke from Jesus, just as Peter was rebuked. In fact, I and we project “the natural” too often onto the Kingdom thinking we are standing up for what we believe or what we feel is right and pound on our chests thinking we are defending our God, when in fact we are offending His sacrifice and everything He did for and to us.

And, let me be real about something else, too. I often tell people, especially when I feel passionate about the Word or an idea related to Scripture, that the Bible is final. And I pull out scriptures to prove my case and walk about like I am dropping the mic as if to say “BOOM, IN YOUR FACE.” But sometimes quoting scripture is just more of the same natural manifestation that Christ has freed us from and which we keep picking up and tying around our ankles like a chain. For example, the law was handed to Israel in Exodus 20 and then began to get more defined in Exodus 21 In fact, Exodus 21:24-25 (ESV) justifies through the law that I can and should manifest myself in the natural. In fact, the law takes me to the place I usually live anyway (you do bad to me, I do bad to you):

eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

But I want to live in the principles of the Kingdom. And it is amazing to go back to the Sermon on the Mount and hear Jesus say the following in Matthew 5:38-42 (ESV):

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

Jesus is quoting Exodus 21 and basically saying, “You got it wrong. My plan for you was the Kingdom Way, NOT the natural way!” He is showing us that we should ALWAYS return good no matter what is given to us, EVEN IF what is given to us is bad/mean/hurtful. I mean really, someone sues us and we offer them more than what they asked for????? Do not resist when we believe someone is being evil????? Yes, that is the Kingdom way.

When we REST in Jesus Christ and stop trying to fulfill the law in which He’s already fulfilled and instead focus on loving others and not fighting others (being poor in spirit, not relying on ourselves, not fighting for God but walking WITH Him), we begin to allow Jesus through the Holy Spirit to guide us in His ways…..in the Kingdom Way.

So, as I think about Kim Davis and her actions, and more importantly myself and my reactions to situations such as her recent claim to fame, I also think on Matthew 10:11-13 (ESV) (emphasis mine):

And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you.

This scripture brought it home to me, in relationship to all I’ve shared here.

Jesus died for me, providing His righteousness and power now, in His kingdom
The Kingdom is powerful and is here, close at hand, now
I am poor in spirit – I can’t get to the Kingdom Way/Highway on my own but Jesus can take me there once I admit I can’t do it with my own power or actions
He showed me my reaction can ALWAYS be good when I rest in Him and His love, even when others seem to be sending me bad things
Finally, I can always have Peace in my life. Because, as Matthew 10 says, if I send out peace, then others can send me peace back (I am good to you, you are good to me)……but if I send out peace and it is not received, my peace through Jesus Christ comes back to me (I am good to you, no matter what you do the Peace comes back to me……because if you send me evil I will always return good through the love of Christ). Either way I have Peace. It isn’t about worthiness or unworthiness of others, it is about the Peace of Christ and its power above all things in the natural.

So, again I am sorry that I have been walking in the natural and feeling justified in doing so. I thank God that He has reminded me that He has provided the means to get to the Kingdom Highway through His power and that if I rest in Him, He will keep me coasting on the Kingdom Way.

Peace.

Frequent Flier Madness – I WIN!!!!

December 20, 2014June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / Leave a comment

The postings on this site are my own and do not represent My employer’s positions, strategies, or opinions.

As many of you know, I travel a lot for work. In 2014 I was on approximately 60 flights. During those flights I followed the rules – I put my liquids in a baggie, I took my tissues out of my pockets before being screened, I followed directions provided by security, and the lot. I didn’t overtly buck the system or act like my personal rights were being trampled. I was, in a word, compliant.

But, really, as the year began I started a secret challenge. It actually started by accident. You see, my best friend Tiffany always had lotion with her and I often asked to borrow it. At the beginning of the year she gave me this bottle so that I would stop asking (ha):

I accidentally left this in my backpack for several flights, forgetting it was there. Yes, it was NOT in my baggie as required. And yet, when I found it a few flights later, I realized that not ONE of the screeners had flagged it. Not once. So, then I thought, “Wow, I wonder how far I could go before someone flagged my bag?” And then, as the story goes, is when the challenge officially commenced.

So, month after month, flight after flight, I left the lotion in my backpack and it was not flagged. I still had my baggie, I still removed my tissues, and yet with each flight I asked myself why I even bothered. And by about June it became this huge competition. I started keeping score and internally high fiving myself as if I was actually winning something!

Flash forward to December – I was in Thomasville sharing with my co-workers my 2014 travel challenge, as I had not been flagged once and I knew I was just one flight away from a perfect season. Yes, I said season. And then, superstitious as I am in such situations, I thought for sure I had just jinxed myself by my cocky talk. I knocked on wood, said I should stop talking until my year’s travel was over, and hoped for the best.

So it was with great trepidation that I ventured into the security line at Greensboro Airport. I was relieved to see a real line of people for the first time ever – about 30 people – and that gave me a sense of power. I went into the slow moving line with confidence. Almost arrogance. And then, it happened. My bag sat under that the camera longer than normal. I stood barefoot, waiting, feeling my confidence slowly melt away. And sure enough, the agent grabbed my bag, asked me to follow her, and I knew…..my perfect record was over. I almost slouched, but silently I thought, “Dude, they only caught it once. FOR THE WHOLE YEAR!”. As I stood compliantly, I suddenly saw something that made me extremely relieved – a water bottle, on the side of the bag. DOH! I had put it there that morning and had totally forgotten about it. The agent pulled it out, trashed it, but I was not out of the woods yet. She began opening each section and began inspecting everything inside. This was definitely not good. When she got to pocket with the lotion, which was not very full, I knew I would probably lose that, too. At that moment, she looked at me as if chastising me for breaking the rules………

Sigh. So close Gina, so close…….

And then she handed me my bag.

My bag, in my hand, lotion bottle intact. Water tossed. Followed by a smile and “have a nice day”.

I. Had. Won!

60 flights, and not once did that lotion get screened and pulled. 100% finished rate. It’s like I am famous. Yep, 2014 was a good year! 🙂

Oh, and Tiffany, thanks for the lotion!

Explaining my Hair Psychosis

October 10, 2014June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / Leave a comment

aka “The Drama of the Hair”

So, I recently got my hair cut, and several of my friends via FB messaged me and inquired why this short cut didn’t freak me out like my other recent cuts. And that made me realize something key in my life – I still have friends that aren’t aware of my “Hair Psychosis”. So, today I’d like to explain this amazing phenomenon.

So, first let’s cover my normal seasonal, general psychosis:

At the beginning of each summer, I usually decide that I will grow my hair out. Oh, I know it’s 5,000 degrees where I live during the summer with 1,000% humidity, but logic is not part of this decision process.
About half way through the summer, my curls begin to appear and I remember the work that is involved in straightening, controlling the frizz, etc.
I usually see a picture of said frizz-explosion, and think I look fat. Because, we all know it’s the hair that causes that, right?
Usually around late September or early October I get to the point where I am tired of it all. And, despite the fact that the weather is cooling and my ears are just beginning to have the ability to have protection from the elements, I come to the decision that the damn hair must go. At that point, it usually gets cut short as a result of said temper tantrum.
This can be documented in pictures over the last 3-4 years consistently; check out summer fun vs. Christmas family photos. It’s very predictable.

So, that is the general psychosis, now let’s add the flavor that was 2014:

Part One – the meltdown

I DID decide to grow my hair out at the beginning of the summer, right on track. And, as luck would have it, I also changed “hair people”. I therefore explained to the new hair person, Hannah, that I was trying to grow my hair out and would only like a slight trim to keep the process going, clean it up, and also to help control the “I have curly hair which really turns to frizz with the slightest humidity” situation. She nodded, I tuned out, and before I knew it my hair was SHORT, I had no bangs, and I was sucked into the hell that is “were we in two different dimensions when I explained I wanted a slight trim?” THAT was this summer when I had the meltdown to my hair situation – you may remember said FB posts on that. So, the NEXT haircut I went to a NEW NEW hair person, Britney, who happens to also be a friend, and said, “whoa, just clean it up yo. I am not having short hair”. And she did fine. And my hair slowly recovered from the fiasco.

Part Two – where is the pomade?

And then, mid September arrived, and the cycle started……I was tired of my hair. The curls. The appearance of “being overweight”. The frizz. I knew how to fix it and I suddenly started gazing at my son’s hair like he was so lucky……it was so easy to fix! I talked to one of my best friends over lunch – who has short, trendy, and sexy hair – about the virtues and what would be cool to do with mine. So when I walked into my appointment last week I confidently sat down and said, “cut it off!”. Britney was so excited and accommodated my request. And I love it.

So then the cut showed up on FB and there were not the “omg I am sad about my hair” posts and the messages started coming in. “Hey, what’s the deal? A few months ago you basically got the same cut and it freaked you out, and now you’re happy?”

What could I say to that? How about, “Oh, you haven’t been paying attention to the fact I am crazy”? Yeah, to summarize this long post, I am just crazy, okay? And I love my short hair…….for now! 🙂

Making A Difference

August 23, 2014June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / Leave a comment

While I have partaken in the recent wave of ALS Ice Bucket Challenges (www.alsa.org) , and while I am confused by the “controversy” that so many are talking about regarding this wave…..this post is not about that topic. Although, I will add, if you’re looking to donate to a worthy cause, ALS is one of them worth considering.

HOWEVER, this blog post is about “making a difference”, which has been a topic that has touched my life for a long time, though it has been rumbling around in my noggin a bit more lately. I have always wanted to “make a difference”, and that is the root of this post.

I think it’s fair to say most people want to make a difference in some way. I know that is true for me. I try to find ways to make a difference as I can; donate to good causes, pray for those in need, pay my taxes with a smile. You get the drift. At times these activities make me feel good about humanity, and good about myself. I imagine you can relate to that as well. But this week I had a revelation that pulled me beyond the normal “making a difference” ideas – we all make a difference, everyday, in almost every interaction we hold.

What? It’s true.

You see, we are not islands. We interact with people everywhere, throughout the day. And our very beings “make a difference” no matter if it is conscious or not. When we walk down the street, if we smile at someone walking the opposite direction, that smile can turn a horrible day into a sparkle of hope. I contend that NOT smiling to that person also has potential for altering that person’s day. When you get cutoff on the freeway, honk your horn and maybe flip a “sign”, you can make the other driver more angry and maybe even irrational (believe me, I can attest to that). When your flight is cancelled and you see a frazzled gate attendant trying to assist dozens of ticked off travelers in addition to you (and if that “you” is me, chances are cranky is accurate), a kind word can go a long way and make them persevere just a bit longer. When a young mother is struggling to get through a door with a massive stroller, your inaction in assisting or action in assisting both make a difference in her day. We make differences, all day, everyday.

I hope I – and maybe you – can move away from the idea that “making a difference” is exclusively making donations, or quitting jobs to “join the ministry” or doing something huge. Not to say those are actions don’t make a difference; they do! Making a difference is more vast than these noble acts. And making differences are good and bad. My goal is to make POSITIVE differences, but fully admit that is not always the case. But I have challenged myself to notice humanity around me. Notice that humans that I may dislike or that may cause me frustration or that honestly are easier not to notice in the first place are worthy for me to make a difference on behalf of. To notice things when I am knee deep in situations of my own, stressful or huge or serious…..it doesn’t matter! We humans are in this together and my issues don’t trump others around me, per se. To admit that simple gestures such as smiles, or courtesy, can make huge differences for others. That “loving your neighbor” is not exclusively a huge outpouring in action, but finds its strength in the mundane. And really, “making a difference” should be more about “loving your neighbor” than about us. And believe me, when it is about me I can attest I am more often making a NEGATIVE difference than anything else. So, for me, I am approaching the idea of “making a difference”, differently. And, no matter what I may be going through today or tomorrow, this brings me great excitement. I hope it is contagious!

Drawing the Line

July 4, 2014June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / 5 Comments

Recently I was involved with a conversation that, at least initially, encouraged me. Then it took a turn and it made me think about a few things. So much so, I knew I had to blog. So here I am.

Before I start, I do have to add for those who perhaps don’t know……I am a lesbian. As such, I am not unbiased in this topic and fully disclose that I have a vested interest in it. I have tried to be objective, but obviously (and realistically), that is not completely possible. Now, onto the conversation.

Recently over lunch, a topic came up. The person starting it began by saying he believed, without reservation, that people are born gay and they don’t choose to be that way. He added something like he wasn’t sure if it was genetics or a varying hormone level of the mother during gestation, but the bottom line was clear to him; it was not a choice of the person and they can’t be changed. That homosexuality was something that occurred, for whatever reason, and people need to stop treating it like a choice. I have to admit that, given the recent conversations I’ve had with friends who do NOT hold this view, it was very refreshing to hear this and not have to try to fight the urge to say……well, wow, I can affirm that it was not a choice, etc. So it was nice to sit and pretty much not have to fight the urge and just think, “wow, cool.”

It was surprising, then, that the person turned a corner and began to add to the conversation. He went on to say that, just like those in the LGBT community, pedophiles and serial murderers are born with a genetic or physical proclivity for their “situation” and could not help being what they were. And at that point, he asked, “So where do you draw the line?”

So let me recap the premise raised by my lunch associate; homosexuals, pedophiles, and serial murderers are born that way, they can’t control their urges or desires, so where do you draw the line when dealing with them?

I try hard not to get pulled into debates about homosexuality – I’ve been there and done that – and made a decision about three years ago that I have not been called to convince others about my life. That is USUALLY in the realm of Christianity, though I do make some exceptions to those who sincerely come to me to understand how I reconciled my faith and my sexuality. But overall, it is not my job to defend myself to others. It is not something I choose to do, to convince others that I am who I am or that I am not broken or abhorrent or whatever. But in this case, I did speak up. I basically said that homosexuality was most often involving adults who both consent to a relationship, often want monogamy and commitment, and that is very different from forcing children to have sex or killing people. As such, homosexuality is not a threat to society as is pedophilia and murder, so that is where you draw the line.

Perhaps for the sake of argument, the man who started the conversation again insisted or implied; it wasn’t fair to accept homosexuals lack of choice while limiting other groups with no real choice in their behaviors. As this person was not a friend per se and one that wasn’t aware I am gay……and since this was a larger group, I chose to leave it at that and let him proceed with his mini dissertation. I will add, as an encouragement to me, several of those in attendance began to text me their support, which was kind and appreciated. For my part, I worked very hard to not take it personally, and tried to consider his thought process in the matter.

So, I will admit that it does make sense that pedophiles and serial murderers may be compelled by their genetics or whatever to “be what they are”. They may not have a choice to overcome their urges, because something in their creation made those urges a part of them. Perhaps, even, they want to change and can’t. I can say that I tried to be straight for a very long time, I wanted to be like the majority of Americans……fitting in and being accepted and all that. I did absolutely live in that fronted existence, but it was a lie and hard for me. I have blogged about that before, and I assume you get the drift. But to suggest, basically, that we as a society are being unfair to allow homosexuals to be who they are, while NOT allow pedophiles and serial murderers be who they are, is illogical and TO ME, a manifestation of some crazy thinking. Perhaps even a more subtle fight against homosexuality.

While I fully get that many in this country truly believe that homosexuals are damaging our country, Christianity, marriage, and probably a thousand other things; I cannot say that the vast majority of us are ending lives, physically forcing ourselves on others, or breaking laws that are accepted by most (if not all) countries. To suggest that being in a committed, loving relationship with someone of the same sex…..who also happens to want to be in the relationship, who is also an adult and can legally consent to the relationship…….is somehow anything like an adult forcing a minor to have sex is illogical to me. To compare a murderer to a homosexual, serial or otherwise, offends me. My life is not forcing children to have sex. My life is not ending the life of others, especially not in a violent way.

And that made me think…….I had forgotten that many people associate my life with these subjects. Admittedly, maybe not in the way this conversation did. But even two weeks later, I find myself pondering this idea. Why do so many go here? I don’t know the answer to that, but it does sadden me. Not enough to become an activist, but obviously enough to write a blog. And to maybe ask…….if you’re reading this, please consider that – if you do think this way, that they are the same things – to reconsider. And maybe “draw a line” and admit that homosexuality is not something that damages people as does pedophilia and murder. No gay person I know is trying to convert others, at all or by force. No one is trying to end lives so that they can fulfill their attraction to the opposite sex. My marriage (even my very life) does not sexually attack children or kill people. Maybe consider that it is not unfair to limit pedophiles and serial murderers in this society while also supporting and accepting homosexuals.

That is all.

Broken

April 8, 2014June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / Leave a comment

This post brought to you by ZzzzQuil Nighttime Sleep-Aid, which apparently will not help much with the time change in Australia! 🙂

For the majority of my life, I considered myself broken. Wow. That sentence was so short, so to the point, it almost seems mundane. Simple. Factual, but not that powerful. And yet, the truth hidden behind its simplicity was such a huge part of my life, I almost feel sad that it isn’t getting the acclaim it deserves. It’s like I want to scream “Here’s Broken Minard, she is a celebrity! You should be asking for her autograph!”

Anyway……..this piece of me was rooted in many things; mostly the fact that I felt different most of my life, and this difference was revealed to my mind as my sexuality which clarified as I grew older. But it didn’t JUST relate to that – I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t pretty enough. I didn’t weigh enough (ah, to have that concern again!). There were many ideas of “not enough” throughout the years and it all boiled down to the fact that someday, someone was going to find out I was a total fake. That I would not be able to pull it off forever, and the truth would come out and the world would know I was nothing better than a broken, horrible person. That my life amounted to nothing but smoke and mirrors.

I dealt with this part of my existence by being Broken Minard, though I am not sure when she arrived. Truthfully, she always seemed to have existed. My earliest memory of this person was in kindergarten. I remember consciously thinking I was probably the dumbest kid in the class, but I was fortunate enough to be very, very polite (something I had heard a grown-up say about me) so I would use that to “hide” my lack of intelligence. Over the years other ideas would come forward – I was funny, I was athletic…..you get the drift – and I’d factor those things in to build upon the facade to hide the “real me”. And the cycle continued quite well as I grew.

Before I continue, the above was not all bad. I’d have to say many of the things in my life today came out of this weird structure called my life. I am a hard worker. I have perfectionist qualities in some areas that help me succeed, although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to others. I naturally am “a fixer”; within my family, with my friends, and at work. People like to come to me because I react quickly and such. I embrace those things now, but they are rooted in the fact that I learned early on to be many things to people to hide the fact, at the root I was Broken. Broken Minard.

Jump to when I was 16. I was very confused because, by this time, I kind of “knew” I was gay and yet back then it wasn’t like it is today. Gosh, did I just sound old? But seriously, “gay” definitely existed back in the 80’s, but I will certainly say that it wasn’t prevalent and it certainly wasn’t overtly accepted. More progressive or tolerant people didn’t “reject” gays, but I’d say it was more “look the other way”. My own Uncle was gay, had been with his partner my whole 16 years of life, but NO ONE said the word “gay”. He was just Uncle and his partner was Uncle. And to put this in context of that time……a girl won a contest on the radio and said something about, “My boyfriend and I have a baby.” and that was considered scandalous. I mean, she ADMITTED ON THE RADIO that she had a baby out of wedlock??? By today’s standards, that ain’t no big deal. (Note: I am not suggestion “back then” was better or today worse or better, just sharing contextual references.)

So here I was, realizing I was an unmentionable. And the realization made me panic, mostly because by then I had become pretty darn good at this whole “hide the fact you’re broken” technique and I knew I would have a lifetime of hard work ahead of me. It was under this weight that I went to a friend’s church and accepted Christ. Ah, the weight of the world of perfectionism and hiding were OVER!!!! I had a real moment of peace and release and wow…….that moment changed my life.

However, it would appear that Broken Minard, who so ardently surrounded my being, wasn’t ready to let go.

Sheesh, I am spending too much time in the past. I apologize, but this is not the intent of my main topic. So now I am going to go fast forward to milestones in my life after accepting Christ at 16:

Knew I was gay and Christian and figured, well heck. That can’t happen.
Prayed and prayed and prayed that God would heal me of my sexuality
To help Him, I married a godly man in my church 1 month after my 20th birthday
Also decided I was pretty broken and worth not much to the world, but a girl has got to make money so applied for jobs I was so not qualified for. Broken doesn’t necessarily mean risk was not worth it. And I suppose it paid off as I seemed to figure things out easily.
Had three great kids, one separation, expanded career, a divorce, and through it all I’d stare at my face in the mirror and see myself as now a liar as well as Broken Minard.
Fell in love with a woman, we got together, but we were not out even to family. I was happy and ashamed at the same time. Broken Minard was at her height. Her zenith. Her peak.
Five years into said relationship, I was “found out”. Lost pretty much everything. My job (which was my main positive identity), friends, and so much more. For the first time in my life, Broken Minard was exposed. And it was much worse than I could have ever, ever imagined.

Wow. This is turning into a huge downer. It wasn’t my intent, but I feel it’s important to share the reality of myself in order to better frame the message I DID want to share. So, why DID I just rehash all of that? Why now?

A couple days ago I referred to myself as Broken to Deana. For the record, she is the first person I ever, ever introduced Broken to. She was the first I shared everything with, that I allowed to see the “real me”. In any case, I said something like, “Yeah, you know me…..Broken.” and she was like……”Wait, do you really think Broken still exists?” And I really had to stop. I realized for maybe the first time consciously, wow…….I haven’t even THOUGHT about Broken in YEARS. I haven’t mentioned her in YEARS. And then, with bells ringing and mental applause exploding in my head, I replied, “Well, wow! I think Broken is gone!”

You see, the Most Horrible Time, when I lost everything, was like a birth for me. And since I had Kirstie “naturally”, I can attest that birth is a very arduous, painful thing. Honestly, I hope I never, ever have to go through anything close to the Most Horrible Time again in my life. But, even when admitting the excessive discontent and pain of that period, at the end I really think Gina was born. And Gina, without Broken tagging along, is a very different human.

There is no longer this separation from Christ that I had built. The mote is gone. The walls have tumbled. And the Peace of the Lord abides. I rest in Him now, in truth, and it rocks. And I am glad He waited for me to realize He never, every meant for me to keep the distance between us as I did.
I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, the whatever, but I am this amazing creature, hand crafted by God and heck, I appreciate the gifts He’s provided for me to succeed. And there are parts of me, formerly attributed to Broken, that are really quite cool. Really.
I am out, as a lesbian. That is not as easy to say “yeah, booya, in ya face.” Nor does that mean I have an agenda or that this is some political stance. I realize this whole area has become so politicized and is a huge debate platform for Evangelicals especially. Heck, I still have some anger in this area. I do react from rejection and certainly from perceived condemnation, which happens occasionally. But overall, I can stand tall and be authentic and no longer feel as if I need to hide, or that this truth in my life is clear evidence of brokenness.
Almost as if I am mirroring the story of Job, God has restored so much to my life that, in comparison, the things that “I lost” seem almost pathetic. Almost as if to say “really, you were upset about THAT? ” I am exceedingly grateful for all that exists in my life.
I am much more empathetic. I mean, when I was Broken, to be so would admit that there was something in me that could resonate with someone else’s pain or failure. So, a byproduct of Broken was that I was very, very judgmental and harsh. Oh, I am still those things now and then – don’t you think otherwise because hey, I really am NOT perfect even if sometimes I still pretend to be – but overall, as I’ve moved into this stage I am not afraid to share Gina, who is insecure, sensitive, great at mistakes and downright failures, and such. And it feels great to say “Hey, it will be okay” or share “I understand Broken, and it really, truly gets better.” I especially love to support others coming out as LGBT, ESPECIALLY Christians, as I appreciate the tug between the two and the related pains and fears that exist in that realm.
I can admit I made a mistake or even say I am wrong without hyperventilating. For reals. It almost feels great. Almost.
I do miss many people who I “lost” or that felt the need to leave my life when Broken was exposed. I miss many very much, with a melancholy at times that borders unhealthy. But, with each day, I smile more when I think of them. I pray more sincerely for them and actually mean the good things I am sending to heaven. And as I pondered this point, I can’t help but share without hesitation we have TONS more friends who are the most loving there is!

I could be wrong, but I think more people have bits of Broken in their lives. Maybe not. I admit my world view is most likely skewed or dysfunctional due to the aspects of my life I shared above. But if ANY of the above has touched your life, don’t give up. I pray that you can find at least one person to share Broken with. I hope one day you can get to a point where Broken is no longer needed, or at least no longer powerful. I pray that you realize that YOU, yes YOU, are an amazing human with much to bring to the table and are worthy of love from others. That, in a nutshell, you rock.

RIP Broken Minard. It was a good ride, though I won’t miss you!

Condemnation is a Four Letter Word

April 5, 2014June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / Leave a comment

If you talk to any of my 2.78 regular readers, you may learn that the topic of condemnation is prevalent on this blog. Oh, I might not use that specific word, but it threads its way throughout many of the themes and stories that I’ve shared over the years. And that got me to thinking……why is that? So, for several weeks that has been rumbling through the recesses of my mind, popping up here and there with epiphanies, to the point I decided I MUST write something about it TODAY.

So here I am. Welcome to the recreation of my mini-journey, at least in part. Sit back, grab your coffee, and let’s roll.

You may remember my post A Response to “A Friend in Christ” last year. This situation still slightly haunts me today, as I have no clear evidence (though plenty of speculation) as to who sent me the letter and DVD. I still have varying emotions (anger, sadness, and such) when I think of the words that exist in the letter I received. More often than not, I feel the need to write additional responses – at least mentally – throwing out my detailed thoughts about how wrong it was to send that letter to me and how it was, at best, worthless condemnation on my life. The amount of anger that is involved in my emotions at the time is directly related to how biting the words I mentally create in my response are. And really, if I’m honest with you, the more biting they become, the more justified and happy I feel. And that was my first realization.

Condemnation breeds condemnation.

The most satisfying feeling related to this situation – when I am living in my flesh at least – is when I lay down condemnation toward the person that wrote that letter. Even though, when I first received it, I believe with my whole heart Jesus taught me I was doing this and that it was a mirror of the person’s letter. That I was guilty of the same sin of condemnation towards them as they were towards me.

“But Lord,” I thought, clinging to my anger…….”they were wrong!” As if my condemnation was somehow…….okay. Righteous even.

So that got me to look around my life beyond this scenario, even to others around me, both those I know and those I know of. And it became pretty clear very quickly…..

Condemnation breeds condemnation.

Don’t believe me? Check out just a few examples:

Fred Phillips, founder of Westboro Baptist Church, famous for the “God Hates Fags” message and for picketing numerous events including military funerals, was nearing death. SO MANY rejoiced when hearing of this news, saying he would burn in hell, that his funeral should be picketed, etc.
Read anything online about the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) and you will read a rainbow of views, across the board, many of which just spew hate – more towards the people who share their views than anything else.
Spend more than 5 minutes on Facebook, and probably see extreme political memes such as these. And they do nothing but encourage those who are condemning, or giving the other side reason to retaliate with their own condemnation.
Religous actions and debates in thousands of online chat rooms, Facebook feeds, or online news comments filled with hate in the name of Christ (for and against topics). Here is but one sample article and extracts of comments (more mild ones, too!). In fact, there were over 175 comments on this article alone and most were arguments between commenters.

So far I have offered examples outside of myself. But I must be real with you – I am the Queen of Condemnation. It should not be so, as I often decry the condemnation that is often directed at me for my “lifestyle”. As I stand proud, ready to fight themes like “Lordship Salvation vs Grace” and other seemingly holy interactions. And yet, the last few weeks have revealed that, alas, I am no better than those who contact me. If someone is in my face about a topic (political, religious, or otherwise) I have NO PROBLEM getting right back in their face. In fact, if I’m honest, I will say I rather enjoy it. And at some point, it even becomes a competition – who can be the best at condemning the other? Oh, we are usually VERY good and veiling our words in polite discourse, even spiritual vernacular or via holy scripture. We feel justified in our personal doctrines, the dogma we adhere to, or in the developed belief system we encircle ourselves in. But the fact remains, we are going for the kill and usually feel completely righteous in our stance, even if there are no survivors when it is all said and done.

And, to make this clear about how painful this revelation was to me……I claim in word and “deed” that my dogma, my world view, my Christian Walk, is centered in Grace. In Love.

And yet – condemnation was the root. The focus. The action. The idol. I cannot deny it any longer.

That got me to realizing a lesson I’ve learned before, I have even taught it! We humans, we Christians filled with the Holy Spirit, too often walk in our own fleshly nature and not that of God.

OUR nature says that it is right and good to act out based on the actions of those around me. You are good to me, I am good to you. You are bad to me, I am bad to you. You agree with me, we are good. You don’t agree with me, it’s okay to annihilate each other. Even in the name of God. That’s even in the SCRIPTURE!

Exodus 21:24-25 ESV, “eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.”

Leviticus 24:17-22 ESV, “Whoever takes a human life shall surely be put to death. Whoever takes an animal’s life shall make it good, life for life. If anyone injures his neighbor, as he has done it shall be done to him, fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; whatever injury he has given a person shall be given to him. Whoever kills an animal shall make it good, and whoever kills a person shall be put to death.”

Deut. 19:21 ESV, “Your eye shall not pity. It shall be life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.”

See? We obviously know these words so well as I have shown we function in this cycle very well in our society!

And yet…….as Jesus so lovingly reminds me almost daily and which I think I learn before stepping back into the law (flesh) and away from Grace……there is a Better way. Because, time and again, He pointed out that we TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD THE CONTEXT OF SCRIPTURE! If you don’t think that’s the case, then why did Jesus have to say so often “you have heard it said, but I have said” and then corrected our understanding? And so He did……..

Matthew 5:38-41 ESV, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

Jesus then ups the auntie by saying this:

Matthew 5:43-48 ESV (I often quote this…..pay attention Gina), “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

And to just be clear what I believe Jesus meant to model the “Christian World View” on, let’s review this. We should NOT base our actions on the old way (the law) as IT BREEDS CONDEMNATION. In fact, the Apostle Paul himself referred to it as such and then turned around and refers to the New Covenant brought by Jesus Christ as the ministry of righteousness.

2 Cor. 3:4-11 ESV (emphasis mine), “Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Now if the ministry of death, carved in letters on stone, came with such glory that the Israelites could not gaze at Moses’ face because of its glory, which was being brought to an end, will not the ministry of the Spirit have even more glory? For if there was glory in the ministry of condemnation, the ministry of righteousness must far exceed it in glory. Indeed, in this case, what once had glory has come to have no glory at all, because of the glory that surpasses it. For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory.”

So the letter (old covenant), which I seem to use in my life most often as I feel justified in “fighting back” or retaliating with those I choose to fight with, is clearly a ministry. A ministry of death. A ministry of condemnation. It has “no glory at all”. And Jesus meant for it to end.

And yet, here I am.

Instead, I want to live and walk in the spirit of Matthew 5. If someone doesn’t agree with me – heck, call them my enemy – I will turn my other cheek. IT SHOULDN’T MATTER. In fact, I think Jesus was radical enough to say I SHOULD NOT RESIST THEM! Okay, you want to say I am going to hell? I don’t agree but you have that right and it is not my job to fight with you. To convince you. You have your political views? Amen. But my point is, we as humans/Americans/Christians/Name here spend far too much time condemning others. And we should stop. We should disagree, sure. We should hold our beliefs and probably even hold them to heart, but that has NO bearing on how we interact with each other. Vote for whom you vote, donate to whom you donate, but our hearts should be open and love should be our first thought. Empathy our second. Respect our third. But not condemnation. Ever.

So, to sum it up, the HEAVENLY WAY of acting has no room for condemnation. No more living in my flesh, of condemning others in the name of God or otherwise. I want to live in the Spirit, where love reigns. I will leave the rest of this summary to the Apostle Paul. Peace to you!

Romans 8:1-11 ESV, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”

2013 – A Year in Review

December 29, 2013June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / 1 Comment

The postings on this site are my own and do not represent My employer’s positions, strategies, or opinions.

Ah, I remember when I was 8. Back then my biggest goal was to be 12, because for some reason that was the number I was aiming for. I clearly recall thinking it would be FOREVER until I was 12 and I was overwhelmed by impatience. Then, when I turned 12, 16 was the big number to hit, and THAT was so far, far away. I think on that, realizing how very far away it remains today, but will leave that one alone! 🙂

But this post is not about yesteryear, but about 2013 and all it encompassed. Of course, I cannot talk about EVERYTHING, but there have been many “big rocks” that certainly were highlights in the year. Enjoy my walk down memory lane for 2013 and feel free to point out anything you felt I missed in the comments!

January

January, and 2013, started out with a bang. I came into work on 1/2 and found out the contract my employer held with The company I have been working for had ended. No worries, they hired us! It has been a wonderful change and I appreciate the job I have. I do miss the few that did not make the transition and send the best thoughts to them.

February

I was honored and blessed to have Pastor Robert Barker ask me to fill in for him and provide the main sermon for his congregation (and my former church home) at Crossroads Community Church while he was out of town. If you want to use up 35 minutes of your time, check the message out here.

April

Deana and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary! Even writing that it feels…..interesting. On one hand, it seems she and I have been together forever and 10 seems so small in comparison to the fullness I’ve felt with her. At the same time, there are days when our love is so overwhelming it feels like we are still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship and I question how it has been so long. Good thing we met each other so young. ;P

We also purchased our Hyundai Elantra in April and got a smoking hot deal with the help of their employee and our brother, Michael! Thanks bro!

Zack turned 11 this month despite my demands for him to remain little.

I believe this is the month that my mom, after being hospitalized A LOT for over 2 years, received surgery that changed so many things in her life! She is much more aware (her dementia is not as bad), her overall health has been stabilized, and I am very happy.

May

Deana and I were blessed to be able to attend a conference in Las Vegas for my work, allowing us to drive to California for a few days to see friends and family. I was able to see my parents, my besties Sonya Bishop and Julie Kang, and family such as Julia and Drew. We even got to spend a few hours at Disneyland thanks to the free entry provided by our friend Cassie! It was a short trip but a huge blessing.

Kenny turned 18 in May – GASP! I am very proud of all that he’s accomplishing too.

Also in May, we lost a good friend and a mentor of mine; Sandy Schuster. It was hard as we were in California when she passed and then I was traveling for work during her memorial. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of something she said or did, and I am thankful that Maddy remains a big part of our life.

June

I was beyond blessed to fulfill (with the support of Deana) a huge dream; I purchased my 2013 Spyder ST-S! I have wanted one since they first came out and I have not regretted it for a minute. I LOVE THIS ROADSTER!!!! And yes, I named it JT after Justin Timberlake and I will often be accused of saying things such as “I rode JT GOOD!”

I also got a tattoo this month, the addition to my existing hearts with the names and birthdays of Kirstie, Kenny, and Josh. The addition was Zack and Sophia and it rocks.

Kenny also got his first Texas job, working as a certified lifeguard at Hawaiian Falls. It also allowed him to upgrade his Geo Metro to a Dodge truck – I am proud of the hard work and savings he accomplished to meet this goal.

This month also offered historical decisions in that DOMA and California’s Prop 8 were overturned. These decisions have huge impact on a large section of our society, including myself and Deana. To think that our legal marriage is now recognized at the Federal level is humbling. And to see our California brethren being able to join us in marriage is wonderful! Since then I am so happy that several other states have expanded equality! I must once again thank my family and friends who reached out the day DOMA was overturned and shared their congratulations – it still blesses me to think of that!

July

First off, July was huge in that I paid off ALL of my medical bills! These included my hospitalizations from my ulcer as well as my surgery in May 2012. I am VERY excited about this, even now!

Also in July our family got to vacation in beautiful Coeur d’Alene, Idaho! This is a beautiful resort town and is GORGEOUS! We got to hang with good friends and also see the sites in Montana and Washington as well. Best memory for me is being hurled out of the raft during white water rafting and Kenny yelling “ROCKS!” ha.

July also began my CRAZY traveling schedule for work as we kicked off the new software training phase at all of the US plants we serve, which lasted through September. It was great to meet many of my co-workers for the first time, some more than others! If only they didn’t complain so much about the software…..right Taryn? 🙂 I am also glad that I was able to see my brother, David, on two of those trips to Bakersfield. It is great that he lives right next to LAX!

August

My baby, Deana, had her birthday of course. I am sad to say I was traveling for work. Thank you D for working within those crazy parameters and always being so understanding.

This was also the month that Josh, not yet 13, grew taller than me. For pete sake, really? Tis true.

September

TONS of birthdays this month! Kirstie turned 23, Josh turned 13, and Sophia hit double digits at 10! Whoa there mister!

I got my first “super short” haircut that I actually LIKED. Oh, I have had others in the past, there are plenty of pics to prove that, but this time IT WORKED. I just got it again and even though I had thought about growing my hair out, I am glad I don’t have to deal with curly craziness as of right now!

Deana, Zack, Sophia and I also were able to go to Paris, Arkansas with Jerry, Julie, Kaylie, and Mom for her ancestry “homecoming”. This is when people gather at the private cemetery where her mother, grandmother, and other relatives are buried and basically have a BBQ. Seriously. It is a little weird, I am not going to lie, but it is also awesome. We have done this before and usually clean the headstones, area, and love hearing stories from Mom. We also ordered mom’s headstone – yeah, a bit weird – and stayed at the Lodge in Mount Magazine which is BEAUTIFUL. I wouldn’t trade it or the memories. Next time I am bringing JT and riding there; this year there was too much rain.

October

Well, first this was the “Go Live” for my software rollout at work for the 9 US locations. This project, of which I am its manager, was HUGE and had been going on for over a year. I was a bit anxious and nervous, but it went overall very well and I am very blessed. This was a BIG DEAL of my life and much of the year, and I am thankful for the support I received from so many people. Deana, many of my friends especially at Ennis (you know who you are), and my kids who managed when I was traveling so much. Thank you all! The support has been ongoing and I give a special shout out to Cary at work who has really stepped up on that front so I can focus on the Canadian rollout.

Also in this month Deana started her 4th Open Enrollment for the City of Dallas. The amazement I feel is tremendous as she absorbed so much on the home front due to my rollout, yet she is only one of 4 benefits employees handling over 13,000 employees and she rocked it. Her professionalism and ability to multitask in every aspect of her life is amazing.

Zack and Sophia also rocked the world of soccer as they both won first place in their divisions and I believe are continuing on the state level. Sophia’s team, in fact, is 100% undefeated!

November

This month celebrated the marriage of Stephanie and Chris! Wow, what a momentous occasion and one of the most fun receptions I’ve been to in a LONG time! To see some footage of said wedding, check it out here and here. The month also included, prior to the wedding, a great bachelorette party and a very fun drag show! No, I didn’t dress as a woman though was called out as Rachel Maddow.

Another important event was Kirstie being baptized! She made this decision and I was very blessed to be able to attend this heartwarming event! To see a quick clip, click here. So proud of you Teet!

December

Ah, December! My birthday month! Christmas and family! But I have to say that I enjoyed attending Josh’s recital in this year’s Regional Honors Band! He is very musically inclined and I am glad he is able to play the trombone and be recognized for his hard work and effort. To hear one of the songs he and his fellow honor students played, click here.

Deana and I also got to hang out with some cool friends at yet another drag show and it was FUN! Thanks Tracy for the invite and looking forward to more in 2014!

I was also blessed to be able to meet my second cousin (I think) when I traveled to Atlanta for work! Nancy’s paternal grandmother was the sister of my maternal grandmother! We found out about each other through Nancy’s sister Ellie; I had “grabbed” something off of Ellie’s ancestry.com family tree and we realized we were relatives. How cool is it to find family members that way??? Cool! And sitting with Nancy, who really was a “stranger” in many ways, just felt……right! She enthralled me and made me laugh and well……I loved it! I am looking forward to what 2014 hold on this front! Especially you, Ellie!

Misc

I actually started saying “twenty-thirteen” this year, instead of “two thousand thirteen”. I feel almost cool.

We (the kids and I) have recorded several “cover” songs for our annual CD again. It is a bit behind schedule and so it will be release hopefully in Q1 of 2014.

Again, if there are items you think of, post them in the comments! I hope that 2014 offers many blessings to you and yours and I look forward to being part of them!

2014 is another year that will be full of work and travel for me! Canada (Toronto and Quebec), Australia, and the United Kingdom are filling up my card! 🙂 What is in store for YOU in 2014?

A Response “To My Friends Who Identify Themselves As Homosexual”

December 22, 2013June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / 2 Comments

This blog post is a direct reply to this post, which I came across when a friend of mine posted it on their FB page. The friend was upset by this post, and truth be told, I was too. My first reaction was to come out fighting, but due to the late hour and the importance of the message, I put it off until today. I am glad I did.

Helpful hint if you so choose: you may want to read Mr. Howell’s blog before proceeding so that you can have a reference. Or bring it up so that you can refer to it as I post.

Before I begin, I welcome your comments and viewpoints. I offer this perspective not only as part of my own freedom of religion and freedom of speech, but as one who is not afraid of varying views. Further, I am NOT interested in dictating how you should think or believe. I just offer this as my own view on the subject.

First, the person who wrote it is an American. As such, I affirm he has every right to write the post, express his personal convictions, and believe what he wants. I am GLAD that he has this freedom and applaud the time that he took to write it. He should not be censored. That is the American Way.

Having said that, I must also say that too many people feel that, in America, everyone must follow the Christian faith to BE American. Even as a Christian, I must emphasize that this is NOT the American Way. Everyone in this country has a right to believe whatever they want, or nothing at all. To impose, at the national or state level, the idea that the Judeo Christian Bible dictates the parameters in which all citizens must adhere is inherently wrong. Further, it defies our very constitution, which states very clearly that religion is allowed but does NOT define the laws of this land nor subjugates the law to it. This is well documented and has been ruled on in our country in great detail, an example of which is noted here (with links to the mentioned decisions if you’re interested) Note, emphasis was done by me:

“Freedom of religion means freedom to hold an opinion or belief, but not to take action in violation of social duties or subversive to good order,” Chief Justice Waite wrote in Reynolds v. United States (1878). The U.S. Court found that while laws cannot interfere with religious belief and opinions, laws can be made to regulate some religious practices, e.g., human sacrifices, and the Hindu practice of suttee. The Court stated that to rule otherwise, “would be to make the professed doctrines of religious belief superior to the law of the land, and in effect permit every citizen to become a law unto himself. Government would exist only in name under such circumstances.”[1] In Cantwell v. State of Connecticut the Court held that the free exercise of religion is one of the “liberties” protected by the due process clause of the 14th Amendment and thus applied it to the states. The freedom to believe is absolute, but the freedom to act is not absolute.[2]”

So, my first point is that Mr. Howell has every right to believe and post about his beliefs, but that in no way means he can legally impose those beliefs on ANYONE in this country, even if he believes he holds the right to do so.

But here’s the deal, I AM a Christian and hold very strong convictions based on the Bible, just as Mr. Howell does. And I personally am brought almost to the brink of tears when the Bible is used in such a way as to condemn others, especially when the condemner appears to be doing so in what they claim is love. And HEAR ME, I don’t know Mr. Howell and therefore I put “appears” because I honestly do not know his heart. I don’t know ANYTHING about him. So, in large part if he says he wrote that blog in love, we should try to accept that. However, there are very specific things he says about the Bible I would like to talk about today, as a Christian and as an American. This may take a while because I feel like I have to respond point to point (as my 2.78 readers know is my modus operandi).

Mr. Howell’s assertions are in bold, my responses follow each point he makes.

First, I believe that the God of heaven, the God we read about in the Bible, created the universe and all that is in it, through His son Jesus Christ (Colossians 1:15-18).

As a Christian, I affirm this view of creation (though I do adhere to the scientific idea of evolution and such) and I look to God the Father and His Son Jesus as the supreme rulers over my life. However, I personally think it is wrong as Christians to stand like a toddler stomping his or her feet demanding that everyone else bow to the same God or belief system. “GOD IS IN CHARGE AND YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.” I mean, don’t you hate it when a vegan sits in a restaurant and verbally decries how gross all of us carnivores are? I mean, dude, why you wanna be all up in my lunch? If you don’t eat any animal products, high five, now let me eat my steak in peace! I think it’s taints the awesome testament of my belief system when I push my very personal and very intimate and very wonderful feelings of Christ especially to the point of making others feel wrong or guilty for not seeing things the way I see it. And I believe that Christ never operated in that way. If He did, he would have called His legions of angels to knock the Pharisees and the Roman Leaders down when He was being tried and ultimately crucified. Instead, He was quiet. He was humble. He spoke only love to those who condemned Him.

And I contend that, if Muslim stood up and demanded that we follow his beliefs because the Quran stated this or that, many people such as Mr. Howell would have a heart attack. Well, my friends, many in this country react the same way when we pull out the Bible and say “listen up, you gotta follow this”.

Second, I believe that the Bible is God’s inerrant communication to mankind. It tells us of his power, love, and grace, but also of his judgment. It tells us of what he wants from his creation, but also what he does not want. It is by the words of that book that the entire world will be judged in the end of material existence—even those who rejected those words (John 12:48).

First, the Bible will not be used to judge us. Based on the Bible, CHRIST will judge us. Now, let’s not split hairs, the Bible is clear that the Word is Jesus. But to suggest that the laws will be used and what not for CHRISTIANS is not Biblical. The Bible is clear that, for those in Christ, the blood of Christ will be sufficient and no other “words” of the Bible will be manifest in the judgment.

Second, the scripture shared above is clear that Jesus was saying if you reject ME, judgment will be upon you. Again, Mr. Howell and I may believe that, but we need to accept that others may not, and often times do not. It’s like saying I believe aliens are real, and to prove it read this book my dad wrote about aliens being real. To insist a truth based on something that others don’t even accept is kind of silly. Basically, you’re saying “you better believe the Bible, which I know you don’t, because it says you’re toast if you don’t!”

But, again, I DO believe the Bible, and I DO believe I am no longer “toast” because I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. But Mr Howell’s comment about “God’s inerrant communication” ticks me off, to be blunt. Too many Christians spout off this statement even though it is bogus. Hey, chill your heels, I am not saying the Bible is WRONG. It may have been pristinely communicated by God, but unfortunately it had to go through humans, which has been proven for all time are errant! Furthermore, we stupid humans have either bastardized the message over time, or may have maliciously changed it to meet our agenda.

What?

’Tis true. My first offering of evidence is Jesus Himself, spoken thousands of years ago. After beginning His sermon on the mount in Matthew 5 to teach His thousands of followers “The Way”, He began to RE-educate them on things that had been documented IN THE BIBLE, but which THE PEOPLE HAD COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD.

Verse 38 starts with “you have heard it said”, and all the verses around that are clear corrections to misinformation or misinterpretation. Jesus straight out says, “BUT I SAY” and I will paraphrase “you got it wrong people, let me set you straight!”

Jesus quotes SCRIPTURE that had been followed in a certain way for THOUSANDS of years, and says, “I am telling you, what was REALLY meant was…….”

Example 1 (Matt 5:38-42): And eye for an eye, meaning you mess with me, I will mess with you (taken from Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy). This had been practiced by the Jewish nation for thousands of years and they used scripture to justify it. Jesus clearly says in Matthew it doesn’t matter WHAT someone does to you, you turn the other cheek and leave any retribution to God. And Jesus takes it further……they steal something from you? GIVE THEM MORE! Because the REAL way to being my follower is to LOVE. When you’re good with THAT, then you can go ahead and start playing God.

Example 2 (Matt 5:43-48): Love your neighbor, but hate your enemy. This was how the Israelites followed the Bible and felt justified in doing so because “the Word was inerrant”. But Jesus CLEARLY goes on to say “you have it all wrong”. The human interpretation of the Word had been flawed, and Jesus had to correct that incorrect belief system. Jesus is clear you love EVERYONE, even your ENEMIES. And He doesn’t qualify that by saying “as long as they don’t sin, then love them.” There is NO qualification. We need to love, period.

But it doesn’t stop there. The fact remains that the Bible was not written in English, and even after it was translated to English it has been translated many times and on too many “platforms” that often had nothing to do with God.

Example 1: the word “homosexual” does not exist in the King James Bible, the most famous of the first English translations offered in 1611; the term homosexual was first added to Bible translations in 1946. Some argue that the term “homosexual” didn’t even exist until the late 1800’s, so where it didn’t exist it could not be used and that the Bible is clear that the “action” was what we now call homosexuality. However, those who are honest with themselves admit that some of the original Greek terms used, especially by the Apostle Paul, have no definitive English translation and that we – with agendas or perhaps limited understanding of God and His Omnipotence – have said “meh, Paul must have meant homosexual”. Completely ignored is the fact that Greeks had forced homosexuality practice in place during Paul’s life (men forcing young boys to be their sex slaves) as well as non-Christian, pagan temple homosexual activities to pagan gods. Words that were used by Paul – such as arsenokoitai – didn’t really exist in his culture’s vernacular and if we’re truthful we’d admit we know not much more of its meaning today. And really, if Paul REALLY wanted to say “homosexual” he could have used a word clearly understood in his culture such as paiderasste. There are TONS who understand Greek and the etymology of this, so I encourage you to do a bit of research.

But ever further, within the last few years conservatives have decided that there needs to be a CONSERVATIVE Bible published! They said that there is “too much liberalism” in the Bible and that the “true intent of the Word” needs to be shown. Basically, they want to make the Bible say what they believe to be the truth. THAT IS DANGEROUS MY FRIENDS and just one example of error being added to the Word of God in print (not even talking about the errors added at pulpits day in and out! Can anybody say “Westboro Baptist Church”?) So exclusively quoting scripture and saying it is the truth because it is in the Bible is not the best platform to have.

As to the judgment piece…..um, holy cow! MY belief system states that every person will be judged, but NOT BY ME! The Bible is clear when we focus on the words of Jesus that we SHOULD not judge and if we DO judge, we are toast!

Matthew 6 is clear that if you don’t forgive others, you will not be forgiven.

Matthew 7 is clear that Jesus views us as hypocrites if we judge others while ignoring the fact that WE are sinners, too.

And let’s be real, Romans 3 is VERY clear that ALL have sinned and fall short of God. You. Me. People who are heterosexuals. People who are homosexuals.

So, TO ME, calling out ONE type of group in our society and implying they have fallen short, while NOT acknowledging that truly everyone else is in the same boat, is short sided, hypocritical, and a gross misrepresentation of the Lord that I have chosen to follow.

But that’s just me.

For everyone, what the sovereign God of the universe has said are the words of (absolute) “truth and reason” (Acts 26:25; John 17:17)—even if you choose to reject them.

This means that if I am going to be consistent in what I believe, I have to speak out against sin. Just because you don’t believe in God’s existence or that the Bible is his word doesn’t mean that it does not apply to you.

If I know that God will judge the deeds of every man and woman at the end of time, then I am compelled to speak about the matter. I have to persuade people to stop doing the things that are against God’s will, and that will ultimately harm them physically and spiritually (2 Corinthians 5:10-11; Ephesians 5:11).

First, see my previous comments about using the Bible to make your point to people who don’t accept the Bible. Remember, Americans have rights in this country, and for me or anyone to say “yeah, you have rights but anyway, my beliefs trump them” is not cool.

Second, the Apostle Paul is clear that we should not judge those who are not believers and we should NOT tell them they are sinning. How can we hold them to a belief they don’t even acknowledge? This is clearly stated in 1 Cor 5:12, that those who do not believe can’t be held to it. It’s like saying we Americans have to live by and accept Sharia law that is prevalent in Iran! It does not apply to us as Americans, and it is not Biblical to demand non believers follow the Bible.

However, although 1 Corinthians is clear that believers in the church CAN be judged based on the Bible, I believe the context of this scripture are those that are causing strife and darkness in the church. And, I truly believe those who are in Christ no longer have their sin held against them as it is covered by the blood of Christ.

You are my neighbor. If I knew that you were about to step into danger, but instead of warning you I just stood back and let you be harmed, what kind of neighbor would you think I am?

Really, do you believe that getting in people’s faces change hearts? I have written about this before, but if a personal trainer came up to me in a restaurant and said “I noticed you’re overweight, you really need to eat less and I can show you how to get off your butt and exercise more” they would be telling the truth but I would still kick them in the face. IN FACT, if someone came up to me and said, “The Bible says gluttony is sinful” THEY would be right. Or that Jesus Himself said if you divorce and remarry, you are committing adultery……and oops adultery is right next to the more recent translation of homosexuals and is part of “the group” that cannot inherit the kingdom of God. But do you think, when people come up and share in this way, it would change anyone’s heart?

I contend that changing hearts is what we should be doing, and in doing so, actions follow. But then that exposes the fact that OUR actions pretty much suck, too. And that is not as easy to acknowledge, it is MUCH easier to point out the failures of others.

Further, why is homosexuality almost always the platform for this action when divorce is WAY more prevalent and “dangerous” to our faith community, based on many factors including the percentages that exist today in Every…….Single…..Church…….in comparison to homosexuality?

I would rather you be the neighbor, as a Christian, that Christ has called you to be. For He called you to love me, as noted in Matt 22:39, like you love yourself. And I am pretty sure you don’t start each day standing in front of the mirror reciting all the reasons you’re going to hell. I would hope that you loved me as Christ loves me, as He called us to do in John 15:12. And how DID Jesus love us?

He did not come to condemn. John 3:17

He died for EVERYONE, even those who are the filthiest there is. Even those that do not deserve it, and He did it with no strings attached, in that He’d do it even if no one accepted Him as savior. 1 John 2:2

Even as He lay hanging on the cross, beaten for something He was not guilty of, falsely accused and abused, even though they did not repent of their actions and certainly not because they deserved it……He said “Father, forgive them”. Luke 23:34

And I would like some example where Jesus called out the sins of anyone that didn’t have a platform of claiming they knew the heart of God, such as the Pharisees. It just didn’t happen. So, as a follower of Christ, I will focus on love and not judging because the Lord I claim to follow did not call out the sins of others.

So in order to be consistent with what I believe, I must speak out against homosexuality.

Wow. What about the other sins? You must be hugely busy because there are LOTS of things you must speak against. Like I don’t know…..not honoring the sabbath? I mean, that comes STRAIGHT from the 10 commandments! Homosexuality doesn’t even hit that level, and yet unless you start at sundown on Friday and follow the BIBLE through sunset on Saturday, you are sinning. And since your own blog put it this way if you follow the Bible, and the ten commandments, I am sure this is something you also talk about quite often and try to share with your Christian friends especially since we probably all meet predominantly on Sundays.

Certainly, I imagine you warn people how to handle black people (aka slaves) as that is clearly in the Bible, right? Further, I am sure you make sure all women follow scripture and advise them to leave their homes when they have their period. I am CERTAIN you encourage fathers to stone their daughters to death if they find out they have been sexually active before marriage, as the Bible demands.

I am sure that’s what you meant on your blog when you said your truth is absolute and unwavering and that you must speak out against sin.

Jesus is clear throughout scripture that He died to save us. He provided GOOD NEWS, and yet most of the time all I hear out of the mouths of Christians is condemnation and judgment. You think homosexuality is a sin? DO NOT DO IT! But I think the Bible has many more scriptures about not judging other’s “sin” while we all have pretty full time jobs working on our OWN sins. And again, let’s be honest here…….we all do sin every single day. As Christians though, we need to shut up about hell because we believe in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. And because of that belief, we need to acknowledge those sins are COVERED ONCE AND FOR ALL. Homosexual or not.

I believe it is far more Biblical and important to not waste time, energy, and lives talking about our views of sin, other’s sin especially, and focus on loving each other. We should edify, encourage, and lift up those around us – NOT condemn them and focus on penalties and hell. Romans 14:1-13 is clear that we should not argue over things; let one believe this and another believe that, but we are called to LOVE each other and exist with each other. In fact, I will share verses 10-13 as they sum up this entirely:

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me;every tongue will acknowledge God.’” So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.

Mr. Howell’s blog says, in essence, that he MUST be intolerant because his faith demands it, and that we need to tolerate his intolerance or else we’d be hypocrites. I am just saying, to me the Bible is clear that we need to focus on our OWN lives and sin and stop dictating or pointing out the sins of others, perceived or otherwise. And I truly believe, in doing so, we do more for spreading the Good News and representing the God we claim to follow.

Psalm 1:1 (which, to be clear, are DIRECTIONS to help Jews and ultimately Gentiles, not LAWS) says we should not stand in the way of sinners nor be scornful, and I will paraphrase by saying this “Dude, walk in righteousness and follow God, but don’t worry about those sinners around you.”

I’m not going to stop telling the truth.

Again, “the truth” of the Bible has already been proven to be potentially questionable, as part of understanding or malicious tampering. But even within the Protestant faith, WHOSE truth are we talking about? Lutheran? Assembly of God? United Methodist? Should we speak in tongues or not? Is baptism required for salvation? Should be abstain from all wine, or is it okay as long as we don’t get drunk? What about women in pants?

I bet there are dozens of truths just on the subjects I’ve listed above.

So, in sort of the same vein as Mr. Howell, I will share the platform of MY truth, based on two areas of the Bible and fully acknowledge others who believe the Bible may not interpret these scriptures as I do.

Matt 22:34-40 (emphasis mine):

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Gina: basically, if you can’t love God and others where they are, then the rest of the laws should not be our focus and, in fact, do not exist.

1 Cor 13 (emphasis mine):

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Gina: Basically, we need to love……our neighbors, our enemies. We need to act in ways that don’t make sense like giving those who steal from us more or letting someone who smacked us in the face hit the other side. Because, when we’re real about it as Christians, we deserve NOTHING Jesus did for us and yet He did it, anyway. And when we can collectively do that without focusing on sin so much, or our perception of sin and needing to “correct” those sins in others, ONLY THEN will our beliefs begin to spread into the hearts of others around us. Love wins. So stop using the Bible as a weapon to push others away from the very thing you want others to accept.

A Response to “A Friend in Christ”

September 13, 2013June 7, 2019 / Gina Marie / 14 Comments

On Friday, September 13th I received a packaging in the mail.

There was no postal “canceling” stamp to indicate where it was sent from, though it looked beat up.
There was the proper amount of stamps on it, but was it really mailed?
There was no return address.
Inside was an envelope with my name, inside of it a letter written on lined paper.
(UPDATED 9/17) Also inside was a DVD, enclosed in a case, with the name GINA written on it. This dvd includes two sermons from Mark Driscoll preaching about the proper roles for women and the sin of homosexuality.
I have attached a picture of the letter below for reference.

First, I am the first to acknowledge that, “sharing tough love” is not easy. I have been approached by people who have addressed aspects of my life in the name of Christ, and I respect them for it. I can admit that often people who come to me to address my life have the best in mind, but often I can comfortably respond to them and affirm that I am good with where I am in Christ, my life, etc. But my point HERE is that I respect that they came to me, in love or otherwise, and had a face-to-face conversation with me from their heart – even if it was hard. And those people remain my friends today.

However, an anonymous, no name, no return address, no NOTHING letter communicates cowardice to me. It communicates not love, but judgment and condemnation. It communicates that you are fearful, and if you are reaching out in love (even if the message is hard), why is there fear? So if you sent the letter to me, please reach out to me as a real person with a real identity. Those of my friends who have done so in person, in the past can attest that I am not belligerent, I am not unkind, nor will I attack. They will also tell you that the love of God comes into the LIGHT and does not hide behind curtains or anonymous letters. If you do decide to come forward and address me openly and personally, I will not reveal your name publicly or otherwise chastise you. If you approve me sharing your name, I will, but that is the only means to which I will share it.

So, on to the activities today. Because I don’t have your name; because you’re hiding behind the fear or judgment or whatever, I have to respond publicly to you. I am sorry that it has come to it, but you’ve given me no alternative. I often fail in approaching things logically and with the least amount of emotion when I have been made to feel attacked, but know that I have prayed hard and know that I write this from my heart. Forgive me, but this will be long because I must address almost every line of the letter you sent.

But know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that your letter has violated me and my family. Love does not do that.

You wrote, “Dear Gina, I am writing to you because I wanted you to know that Jesus loves you Gina.”

My response: Thank you, though I have full knowledge of and an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, who is not only my Friend, but my Savior. I spend time with Him, I talk to Him, I think of Him, I read His Word, and above all I rest securely in the center of His Finished Work. His Love is so powerful that I cannot separate myself from it even if I tried. It is eternal and I am saved, period. IT IS FINISHED. This is affirmed in John 1, John 10, Acts 20, Romans 3:20-24, Romans 4:15-17, Romans 5:1-2, Eph 2, and many, many more. You may think, from where you sit in your “perfect life” that YOU know Jesus and I need to know Him like you do. Rest assured, I already know Him and He loves me.

You wrote, “We as Christians must humble ourselves before God when we pray. If you ask God for a good and godly husband, who will love you and cherish you, God will give you the desire of your heart.”

My response: Okay, know that I am humbling myself right now and praying to God, sincerely, because the offense to me and my family with these words is huge. I am confident that my Lord can keep me from responding in the flesh, though He is encouraging me to be real and truthful. First, I AM MARRIED – both legally (though only recognized in 13 states and by the Federal Government currently) and spiritually. My marriage, whether or not you acknowledge it, is Biblically, spiritually, legally, and physically binding. It is monogamous, prosperous, harmonious, and has been so for over ten years. I am exceedingly cherished and treated far more lovingly than I could ever imagine. And to that, which is a direct answer to prayer, I can affirm and Praise Jesus that HE DID give me the desire of my heart! I have a beautiful and loving wife, five beautiful children, and His everlasting peace! For you to suggest that, 1) this was not really, truly the desire of my heart and 2) to REALLY be fulfilled, I need to desire and marry a man is OFFENSIVE to me! And, for what it is worth, I would never EVER suggest that you marry a WOMAN (assuming you’re a woman, which I base on the writing of the letter) if that is not how you were born. Further, I certainly would not write to a person I knew was married and say they needed to pray for a DIFFERENT person to marry. It is an affront and there is no love in these comments!

You wrote, “Philippines 4:6 (you didn’t note it, but this is the NASB version) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

My response: I happen to love this verse, and just like the Bible teaches elsewhere, the Word does not return void. I do thank you for this verse, but not in the context you meant it. You see, I trust that the Lord, in His perfectness, knows that I come to Him as a broken vessel which is only made whole through His Life. And I will confess to you in this letter that I went to Him specifically about your letter and to help me not cry from it – to not spiral from the pain it caused me and my family. To not allow the yoke of condemnation in your words to suppress the love of God. And then, I asked that my building anger would not boil over like a storm. And THEN I went on to pray that He rebuke you as a person sitting in judgment, throwing stones from the dark at me and my family. I confess that I called you a hypocrite and accused you of lacking love for others (especially me), while you claimed the name of Christ under the guise of “love”. I shared with the Lord that you wrote to me for no other reason but to condemn me and to insinuate that I am somehow incomplete because I don’t have a husband. And as I spewed out all these things to my Lord, Jesus showed me that I was acting just like you – the very thing I was ranting against – in my anger and condemnation, and that made me cry all over again.

You see, Jesus does want us to follow Him, to not sin. But we often forget that He covers our sin and only wants us to FOLLOW Him, and in doing so His spirit works its way and soon enough we sin less. We become more like Him not by OUR power, but by HIS. And He made it clear that the Royal Law is to love God and love others as ourselves (Matthew, James, John – tons of scriptures support this). He even said to love our enemies! And I will tell you here, your letter did NOT do that. It did not show love, for love would never have sent it. And my reaction was not loving, for love does not think of the weaknesses or failures of others as a means to justify punishment. So yes, this verse is good to remember this ideal established by Christ, and to remind me specifically to always pray with supplication for Jesus to lead me in HIS ways, which is to love. Period. Especially for those who maybe don’t deserve that love. He said in Matthew 5 that all the laws and the prophets hang on LOVE. And I hope that when YOU truly approach Him in supplication, you hear His leadings about letters such as the one you sent me. Maybe He will direct you to not send them, or to sign your name, or maybe to just pray for the people He leads you to. That is between you and Him. But I will say again, nothing about your letter spoke love to me.

You wrote, “It is hard for a man to find a good-hearted woman, such as yourself. You have always been a beautiful woman inside and outside.”

My response: Again, since I am married already, this comment is inappropriate. I don’t think it is Biblically sound to encourage a married person to seek out another person other than their spouse. Even still, if I were “on the market” I think it is a misfortune to tell me (or any woman) that I need to “help a guy out” because it’s hard for a man to find a good-hearted woman. It is just as hard for a woman to find a good-hearted man, and yet I would not think to write to my single male friends and tell them they better get with God right away because of it! Women and men don’t necessarily need the other to be complete or fulfilled. It is an affront to singles today to say so. And affront to God’s plan for their lives. Paul wrote that some are called to be single, others to marriage. Who are WE to say what is “normal” or “right”? We need to stop acting for God and saying what others need to do or pray for.

So I am ASSUMING the real concern here is that I am married to a woman, which is clearly a sin in your eyes. To that, I would like to say with all sincerity that I am not called to convince you to think otherwise and I appreciate that is the view you may hold. However, I will not bow to your view that I am somehow not a full woman or a full Christian. I am actually quite complete and fulfilled and again, rest in my place as a Child of God and accept the full inheritance His has given me. I will also refrain from thinking you’re less of a Christian for your letter, though I am still working on that and am concerned that your stance damages the testimony of Christ to non believers and those who are jaded by Christians such as your letter presents. Thank you for your comments about me being beautiful, however. I wonder, truly, if you even know me though.

You wrote, “I hope these words find there (sic) way into your heart and encourage you to seek the Lord. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in all that you say and do.”

My response: Your words broke my heart. They offended my heart, for I approach my marriage seriously and with my entire heart. They did NOT draw me closer to God in any way, shape, or form. It was the Holy Spirit in me that drew me to Him. And I praise Jesus for His encouragement despite your letter.

And yet, it is obvious that you believe, to be a REAL woman and a REAL Christian, I am in need of a man as a husband. And by your words, I need to “seek the Lord”. I can only assume you mean I need to understand that I am in sin because I am in a same sex marriage. Again, it is not my calling to convince you to believe otherwise. But I WOULD like to ask you this – let’s say you once were a heroine addict, took part in orgies, were married and divorced and remarried, even took heroine during your first pregnancy that resulted in altering your child’s life when born. If I sent you a letter saying “you need to seek the Lord and marry a different man”, do you think that would make you run to Jesus? How about if you were fat and I walked up to you and said, “you need to seek the Lord because your gluttony is a sin, and for heck sake take that food out of your mouth” would that make you want to hug me and say “Praise Jesus?” Show me an example in the Bible where Jesus condemned anyone but the ones that thought they understood God such as the Pharisees or those selling goods in His name in the Temple? The woman caught in adultery He forgave and said “go and sin no more” and then gave her the means to stop sinning by dying on the cross! The woman at the well He told her she was living with a man, and yet He never said “but you need to change your ways.” We can both learn from this my anonymous friend. ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. You. Me. Everyone. We are NOT called to point out the sins we both commit or see each other doing, but to LOVE. Period. And if you honestly think your letter encouraged me to CHANGE, you are seriously mistaken. Instead, it has made me more aware of the pain caused by people who profess faith with their mouths (or pens, as it were) yet lack its power in their deeds. For Jesus said His yoke is easy, and His LOVE endures forever. Show me the LOVE. It doesn’t reside in your letter.

You wrote, “Sincerely, A Friend in Christ.”

My response: If you were really my friend, you would have signed your name. If you were really my friend, you would not tell me to leave my wife, break up my family, and become whole by marrying a man. You would not cause me to turn my heart from the person I committed my LIFE to, for richer or for poorer, through sickness or in health. I assume you hold marriage in high regard, and yet your letter tears marriage to shreds. You have no respect for the sanctity of marriage or all it stands for.

So here are some Biblical scriptures.

Luke 6:31 NIV “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Luke 6:37-42 NIV “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

James 4:12 ESV “There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”

Romans 14:1-10 NIV “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.

1 Cor 13 NIV (emphasis mine) “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

THE DVD You Sent

Mark Driscoll is not my pastor. I personally find his view of the Bible as slanted and misogynistic. In the future, if you want me to “get” what you’re saying, you probably should not send me something that Mark is speaking on. I affirm your right to esteem his views and words, and I know that God works out all things for those that love Him. I know Mark claims to love Jesus, so that is enough for me. However, I choose not to follow Mark’s teachings. Thanks.

Again, I encourage you to reach out and tell me who you are so that you can be removed from the darkness and come into the light as followers of Christ are called to do.

Just Rambling

A place where writing and thinking are known as rambling.

Author: Gina Marie