Christianity

Edify

/ Gina Marie / 2 Comments

Yesterday, my wife received a “loving message” from a friend.  This message was kind in that it clearly said, “it is absolutely up to you to live the life you see fit to live”.  In essence, this person “accepted” that Deana has decided to live her life married to a woman, though the implication was that her lifestyle is a choice.  Deana, like me, knows that is not reality, but we don’t argue the point often.  But, the message didn’t end there.  The woman, “in love”, said that she would be praying for Deana as she believed Deana’s choice will ultimately lead to a premature death, which made the writer of the note very sad.

I am obviously and admittedly reacting to this interaction in a way that is not my desired M.O., though I will do my best to do it logically and calmly.  However, I think it is important to break through the barriers and be real about aspects of our lives that exist.  Deana, for her part, reacted in grace to this “friend” and sent out love in return.  I commend her.  But I am going to be super real here for a moment and share some intimate reality with you.  This message made both of us cry.  This message, for a moment, made us wonder why we try so hard to love others, who AT LEAST EVERY COUPLE OF WEEKS reach out and do nothing but condemn us (different people, randomly).  As the tears roll down our faces, we audibly wonder why we fight so hard to remain in the Christian community.  We sit and, as we cry, feel guilty for the rage that begins to stir in our guts, praying to the Lord to please, PLEASE, lead us in His path and help us not to react in the flesh.  But, even with the shame we feel for the rage that is burning slowing across our stomachs, it is way better than the pain and anguish we feel as the slime of judgment sent by others fights its way over us.  Rage is always my preference to the pain, and yet I know we are called to love.

I ask you seriously……..think hard about this………if I walked up to a smoker and said, “I love you so much and I know it’s totally up to you to smoke.  I honestly don’t have a problem with you smoking because you’re my friend.  But I am praying for you because I know it will probably mean you will die way younger than you should.”……I would probably be somewhat accurate.  At best, their quality of life could be significantly compromised as they aged.  But in doing so, was the relationship that I so obviously have (“I love you so much”) EDIFIED by the interchange?  Do you really, REALLY think that “showing love” is telling someone “you’re killing yourself” really going to make them think about what they’re doing?  Maybe.  I think the interchange builds barriers, throws shame from one friend to another, and doesn’t really change the fact that the one friend will still smoke.  Condemnation will not cause them to stop smoking.

What if it is something that is NOT really a choice?  What if I told you I haven’t had over 1200 calories a day for weeks, that I have been way more active, and I haven’t lost weight?  What if I am just glad that I haven’t GAINED weight, but you tell me I am going to die younger because of my “poor eating habits”?  What if genetics or other health issues are causing this weight issue for me?  What am I supposed to do with your “claims of love” when you take hope and throw it down the toilet with your words?  What if I am at a breaking point, frustrated from my lack of weight loss, and then you come in and put the nail in the coffin of my efforts with your words of condemnation?

I don’t want to be that kind of person.  I don’t want to DIScourage, but ENcourage.  And telling someone they’re going to hell or going to die young is not encouragement.  It is BS.

The Bible is clear that the tongue is dangerous – it can cause fires to burn, hearts to break, and unrighteousness to befall man.  Yet, the same tongue can EDIFY others.  And I contend that the “tongue” of this friend did not edify Deana.  Instead, condemnation was the only byproduct.  And, truth be known, so many follow this supposed “love” formula and I am rather sick of it.  Stop being that way.  It doesn’t do ANYTHING except maybe make yourself feel righteous or caring and that is BS too.  You don’t give a CRAP about Deana and you don’t give a CRAP about the smoker or the fat person, but you may only feel better because now “the blood is not on your hands”.  Well, it never WAS on your hands.  I’d rather you pray for us if you truly feel compelled to do so, because we have faith in Jesus Christ and we actually TRUST in Him.  But I digress.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV says:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Deana was not built up by that message, but was torn down.  She said to me, “The only reason I will not leave the Christian Community** is because of you and (very close friend).  The two of you speak Christ to me, and I am so glad for it.  But today, it is harder to walk in that decision.”

I am writing this blog today for no other reason, from my heart, than to encourage you to think about how you interact with EVERYONE.  Are you building them up?  Do you REALLY believe telling someone they’re going to hell or will die young because of their life gives grace to them?  Think on these things, because I have met hundreds of people who have told me they do not go to church because of Christians telling them they are going to hell, are an abomination, or other hope-stealing comments.  That is not a cop out by some angry lesbian, that is the truth.  And my wife, who loves the Lord with all she is, doesn’t need to end her evening by crying about being told she is going to die young for being married.  FEAR doesn’t work, and if I may suggest, it does nothing for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  We are better than that.

Thank you for reading.

** This is NOT about losing faith in Christ or rejecting Him.  This is about associating with the very RELIGION and those who walk in condemnation in the name of Christ.

Fury

/ Gina Marie / 6 Comments

Today, a dear loved one reached out to me because their parents rejected them.  This LGBT young person has been out for about a year and has struggled with their relationship with their parents the entire time.  Recently, they wrote a long and very detailed email explaining how they reconciled their sexuality with their Christian faith and how they believed the Bible does not condemn them.  This was a very personal email, very open with tons of emotions, vulnerability, and hope.  Hope that, maybe with all the details and the proof that this person has been heavily in the Word and prayer, they would come to understand how much Jesus meant to their child even though they are also gay.  Days had passed and even with the history of a year of anger, rejection, and even torment from this person’s parents, the writer held out hope and trusted; in the Lord and in their parents.

But, instead the parents responded with rejection.  Hatred, and I am not just using a buzzword because “they are standing up for their religion”.  They have condemned their child to hell and used words that I would not use on my worst enemy.  And that, in a word, made FURY rise in my heart.

Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love does not insist on its own way.  And yet, the response from the parents, in the name of Christ, made impatient demands.  Were unkind.  Insisted that the only way their child could be saved was to adopt and walk in the exact same manner established in their own heterosexual lives.  They said there was no hope for their child, that things would never work out for them.  It was filled with doom and distain.  Disgust.  Love does not do that.

FURY.  I am consumed with it.

They do not trust in their God, for the Bible they so heavily throw about says in Romans 8 that all things work out for those who love God.  I don’t think these parents lack love for God, but if they TRUSTED Him, they’d know that they need not fear for their child who is in Christ.  Yet, I am sure they think their child is NOT in Christ, which is so frustrating as well.  This human is so evidently a Child of God in word and deed, one that sacrifices for their neighbor and loves unconditionally.  In fact, 1 John says if people don’t love, God is not in them.  So, to learn of the condition of their parents’ love brings up FURY within me.  But maybe, based on their own “strong beliefs”, their child could be saved based on the Word and promises of God.  But again, it appears they don’t trust the Word.

And yet, I must take a step back and remember……I trust in the same God.  I know this will work out for this dear one, even though right now the pain is all consuming.  Even though the rejection and the harsh words and the outright condemnation being sent to this loving person is real and painful.  And my FURY, whether based on biblical verses or not, makes me no different than the parents, who used the Bible as a sword against their own child.  I am not like them.  I don’t want to be like them.  I need to LOVE, even when it is hard.

So, I am reminding myself (and everyone else)……

1 Cor 13:4-13 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant  or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Please pray for this dear one.  Please pray that their heart is surrounded by the Love of Christ, that He removes the bleeding and pain.  Pray that the Lord fills the loss of their parents with many, many more who can assist in this role.  Pray for my FURY.  Pray for the parents, who must believe they’re doing the right thing, and have suddenly lost their child by choice.  And, also, if you think about it……..love people.  Where they are.  No conditions.

Church. The Struggle.

/ Gina Marie / 1 Comment

Tonight I read an article that I came across in my newsfeed on Facebook.  I have to admit, it seemed more angry than I personally feel towards the church, at least right now.  Yet, to be completely candid, the article DID bring up some pretty good points, and focused on many of the things I have personally gone through in my own walk as a LGBT Christian.

This article did get me thinking, so I wanted to share something with you regarding “church”.  It’s a struggle for me, and perhaps you may be surprised as to why.

To knock out the obvious, going to most churches is awkward for my family.  More often than not, we can’t just go to a church to check it out.  No, instead we have to vet it out; check out their web page, see if there are any notations about homosexuality on their “what we believe” sections, and I usually email the Pastor and straight out ask if it would be a problem if we attended.  Only about 40% of the respondents indicate “no, please don’t come” (or variations of the context, some not in a mean way though some of which are pretty aggressive about sin, though those happen only about 5% of the time).  45% struggle with what to say, hoping not to offend but still unable to respond in a positive way.  These sound more like, “wow, of course we hope you come over, though we have never had any such people in our church and we are not sure how the congregation would respond.”  Some ask if “we look gay”, wonder if they could meet with us before we attend, and that sort of thing.  10% have been affirming, and 5% have been predominantly LGBT churches.

I have to say, however, that it isn’t “easy” to go to a gay church, really.  I mean, our kids aren’t gay, you know?  And, in relation to OUR experience, more often than not when we attend the 15% gay or affirming churches, they are less conservative.  And, really, we like a more conservative, non-denominational church.  But the more conservative churches that are around are apt to not want us there.  So, can you imagine the struggle?  To sum it up, we really don’t fit into either church.

But even beyond that, what I REALLY, REALLY wish for is to just be able to go to church with my family.  Period.  I would LOVE to not even have to talk about the fact that Deana and I are LGBT.  In BOTH scenarios, we just want to worship our Lord and Savior, get into the Word, be fed and recharged with brothers and sisters in Christ, and not have this layer of “us” that truly just gets in the way.  It’s like having an extra layer of clothing on each time we go to church that makes it difficult to enter into the holy of holies.  It’s like walking with a scarlet letter on our lapels and everyone focuses on that letter instead of what we really are attending church for……and that just seems so wrong.  So, personally speaking, I avoid that.  Because it just seems like a circus to me, in both types of churches. And yet, when I do that, my very spirit suffers for it as I remove myself from fellowship.  From worship.  From what I believe I was created to do.  So I attend and work though it, but the cycle continues.

So, my heart of prayer often says, “Lord, let me be authentic, yes.  But can’t it just be about You?  Can’t we just assemble and BE?  Can’t we just kneel and sing and pray and listen and encourage and interact and follow?  Can’t it just be about learning to be more like You?”

So, in most ways I’ve tried to forgive, yes.  I don’t sit here hating evangelicals or wave my fist at those who condemn me to hell.  It hurts, I won’t lie, but I don’t despise the ones who say that so much today.  But what I miss, what my soul yearns for, is to just be able to worship.  Without asking.  Without wondering if my presence is offensive or bothering someone.  Without thinking the LGBT brothers and sisters with me are more interested in getting more churches to accept us.  Without even thinking about sexuality.  I yearn to just see the face of Jesus, to hold the hand of someone hurting as I pray with them, to laugh at a Pastor’s anecdote during a sermon, to cry with joy as I consider the vast love that God provides you and me for each moment of our lives, to be more like Him, and to do it not as an LGBT anything, but as a sister in Christ.

And, well, I am still praying.

Being Holy vs Loving

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

It seems like, for many decades, we Christians often focus our efforts on one big topic – Holiness.  This manifests itself in so many ways, and in many religious groups or denominations.  When my parents met, they could not be married in the Catholic church because my mother was divorced.  The divorce made her “not holy enough” to have her marriage consecrated by the church.  Or, to state it differently, allowing her to have ANOTHER marriage would cause her not to be holy, which of course the Church could not do.  That is how it was explained to her at the time.  Further, many of her neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances shunned her because she was a divorcee during a time when most people (religious or not) believed it “was bad”.  Ah, how times have changed!

In contemporary ways, this attitude still exists.  LGBT are not welcomed in many churches – Protestant, Catholic, and others – as many view it as unholy.  Few churches restrict attendance based on divorce today, but stigmas still exist in many forms.  In addition, congregations are encouraged to present themselves in ways that show their holiness; by wearing certain clothes (suits for men, dresses for women), by avoiding secular movies or music, by abstaining from activities or winning souls door to door each week.  At the same time, if people who DO partake in said activities or dress differently were to enter the church, more often than not the congregants would not welcome them warmly.  I’ve seen that and I’ve done that.  It exists today.  This is not a religion or denomination issue – this is a human issue.

All these views or rules are in place to point us to one thing – being holy.  Now, don’t put words in my mouth – I am not saying not to be holy!  I am not even saying we should not take the direction or encouragement we receive in church seriously.  There are many scriptures that call and direct us to holiness.  But I am saying, as a society and as a Christian Body, we often look at the wrong things when we seek holiness.  Heck, even the rhetoric by many politicians and the platforms they support focus on moral directives that supposedly make this country and its citizens “more holy”.  But, my thought is that we are going about it the wrong way.

For example, a few years ago I started a new job and went out to lunch with some new co-workers.   For some reason, the story of the Good Samaritan came up, and one co-worker decided he’d share with me and my other new co-worker what the story REALLY meant.  His version went something like this:

One day a man was seriously injured and fell to the side of the road.  At the same time, a priest who was heading to his duties in the temple was walking down the street.  The priest, wanting to avoid the man, went to the other side of the street and passed him.  In the mean time, the Samaritan – who was the dirtiest of the dirty by the virtue of being a Samaritan – helped the man immediately.  He even paid the inn keeper to care for him and promised to come back and pay any amount due, as long as the man was cared for.

And the moral of the story?  The priest cared so much for God, that he knew he could not touch the man because the injured man would make the priest unclean, and then he would not be able to serve God or God’s children for several weeks.  During those weeks – God forbid – he would be worthless as he purged the uncleanness from his life.  We, as Christians, should be more concerned about serving God like the Priests of the Bible and yearn to remain clean for God.

I promise, that is what he said.  And he believed it with his whole heart.  And, on the surface, it DOES sound nice to yearn to be holy, to remain pure enough to be used by God and to serve others so they can get closer to Him as well.  But how does this story read in the Bible?  Let’s check it out.

Luke 10:25-37 ESV (as told by our Lord Jesus, but emphasis is mine)

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”

But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.  And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?”  He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”

Jesus clearly shows here the Samaritan, despite his “poor standing” as an unclean person, showed love and mercy and was the person we should emulate.  NOT the Priest, who we assume was very holy in appearance at least, as we also assume the Levite was holy based on the additional rules and laws that applied to both.  Rules and laws direct us to Christ, but Christ directs us to Love.  And love always directs us to His Righteousness, which makes us holy.  Well, that and His sacrifice, but that is a different blog post!

So, as I have been reminded I hope to remind you – show mercy.  Be kind to the impatient traveler next to you.  Assist the mom who is struggling with two young kids as she’s grocery shopping and mentally trying to figure out how she is going to afford Christmas.  Don’t react to the tailgater who is scowling into your rearview mirror, inches behind your bumper flying at 80 mph.  Overwhelm with kindness the person who sent you a message telling you LGBT people can’t be Christian.  Feed a hungry person.  Smile at a stranger.  Ignore the loud politician who posted a harsh meme on Facebook, or your friend who shared it.  THESE things lead to holiness as we emulate the teachings of Jesus Christ, more than any 3 piece suit or hymn.  And, before WE know it, He is our focus instead of our own actions.  Let us go and react as the Samaritan reacted.  What a blessing.

An Apology to my Facebook Friends

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

That’s right, it’s me – Gina – apologizing to you all in a public forum, without excuse or justifications.  And the reason is, in recent months I’ve been very open about my views on Facebook (FB) about a number of subjects, including the Confederate Flag, the SCOTUS decision regarding same-sex marriage equality, and most recently the Kim Davis media frenzy.  It’s not so much that I think it was wrong that I shared my feelings – no, I think sharing when done without belligerence is often good for myself and others.  However, my sharing was manifested 100% from the heart of my natural state as opposed to the state I believe I’ve been taken as a follower of Christ.  And because this revelation has taken me a few weeks to encompass in my mind and heart, I am posting it here on my blog so that I can include my thoughts as an encouragement for myself as well as others.  Because, I think, others may easily manifest their thoughts as readily in the natural as I do.

Let me say many of these concepts I’ve personally taught at my old church and I was slapped awake by these ideas by my own notes, which I recently stumbled upon.  Many of the thoughts I derived from a sermon I heard several years ago given by Paul White.  So, I could be sad that I have “fallen from grace” and gone back to my own “law driven ways”, but instead I will just share my journey.  Thank you for reading my post and considering this trip I’ve been on.

We all like to try to take the high road, to act in an acceptable way, to be kind and loving and thought of in nice terms.  And yet, I think all of us can feel justified for responding to attacks (even if only perceived).  In that context, and to avoid a super duper long blog post, let me define three ways human actions manifest themselves on the earth:

Through the demonic – You treat me good, I return evil.  This is not just a reference to The Exorcist or other spiritually “freak me out” actions.  Instead, it’s more like a warning my mom always told me when I was younger, “Gina,” she’d warn, “never stop to help someone on the side of the road because they might be pretending to have an issue and they really are a serial killer.”  So, in this example, someone could stop to help someone on the side of the road (offer good), but in return they are killed (return of evil).  While this is an extreme example, I think there are often “demonic” activities that occur everyday where someone does something nice and someone returns a less than nice or even mean reaction.

Through the natural – this is where I usually live; you treat me well, I treat you well.  You treat me bad, I will treat you bad.  It’s pretty simple, we mirror each other and if you’re a jerk I will feel totally justified in being a jerk back to you.  I love those who love me, and despise those who despise me.  This happens often when someone cuts me off on the highway and I have no trouble showing my discontent.  In recent weeks, I have been compelled to think the very worst of Kim Davis, who I perceived as a hypocrite, judgmental and a cherry picker of scripture.  I felt totally justified in considering her a poor example of a Christian for her actions while doing many of the things I was railing against as I assembled my words of condemnation against her.  I laughed as others made fun of her appearance, I shook my head when her own sin was exposed.  In a phrase, I was just as judgmental and hypocritical as she was, just not on such a large media platform.

Through the spiritual, aka “The Highway” – you treat me well, I treat you well.  You treat me bad, I treat you good.  Basically, no matter what you throw at me, I will return love and goodness.  And, in my own power this is utterly impossible, as I’ve proven quite well in recent weeks.  But that’s not to say it is impossible.

So, let’s establish some Truth based on Scripture.  First, I have often thought the Kingdom of Heaven or of God was far off or something I would see after I died.  But the Word explains it very differently.  In Matthew 4:23 (ESV), when Jesus first started his earthly ministry the following was said (emphasis mine):

And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people.

Notice here Jesus FIRST proclaimed the gospel of the kingdom, and THEN people started being healed.  He didn’t heal the people in order to proclaim/show the gospel of the kingdom.

Then, in Acts 1:1-3 (ESV), which records the end of Jesus’ earthly ministry, after He was crucified, died, and rose from the grave, this was said (again, emphasis mine):

In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen.  He presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God.

There is power in the Kingdom and Jesus spoke about it constantly, from the beginning of His earthly ministry to the very end.  Throughout the gospels it is recorded as being said “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand”.  It is not far off, it is not coming later……it is as close as my hand and it is here, now.  And there is power – healing power, power to change us and the world, and it is given to us freely through Jesus Christ.  I want this power in my life.  I want to live knowing I manifest myself in the Kingdom and act as if I belong in the Kingdom……not when I die or when I reach some level of spiritual maturity as if it will show up some day like a bill in the mail.

And yet, in Matthew 5:3 (ESV) at the very beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said this:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

And with that, I often freak out because, in many ways all I try to do is be more spiritual.  To be more INTELLIGENT when it comes to scriptures and theology and loving my neighbors and walking in this Truth, etc. etc. etc.  And yet, Jesus Himself said in order to find the kingdom of heaven, I must be poor in spirit.  And He said it in the present tense “theirs IS the kingdom”, not “theirs WILL BE the kingdom”.  And I believe this truly means I need to get to the end of myself and realize…….I can’t get there.  Not at all.  I can try to be very holy, very spiritual, very cerebral even in my understanding of God and His Word, but all I ever get by my own effort and actions is the power to manifest my life in the natural.  But, when I realize this and honestly say “I can’t do it, no matter how hard I try”, THAT is when Jesus smiles and says, “Now we will get somewhere”.  Because ONLY JESUS can carry us into the kingdom of heaven (as in the right now, right here version, not the place when we die).

So, as I did a few years ago, I began to give up on trying to be spiritual, of trying to manifest my interactions with others through “the Highway”.  Because I am poor in spirit and do not have the means in which to get there.  And I will tell you, when I begin to realize and act with this Truth, when my poverty is spirit is allowed to be real, THAT is when I begin to float to the kingdom of heaven with my Lord.

Have you ever seen The Passion of the Christ?  It shows Jesus being tortured, beaten, ridiculed……it is so graphic I often cry and always get very angry.  In that anger I want so badly for Christ to call His legions of angels down and destroy the Roman Soldiers and the Jewish leadership who were persecuting Him.  I think many of us would accept and understand if Jesus reacted that way, for He was completely undeserving of such horrible treatment.  Like so many of the politicians and Christians and LGBT folk do today; we scream out and demand our rights and insist that we ARE right and that we represent God and demand others see His personality and rules and actions through our eyes and explanations.  We claim to be persecuted and declare ourselves right to demand punishment for those who have hurt us.  We demand everyone should be held accountable to our views of our religion and even expect the laws of this land to reflect those morals and rules.  In God’s name we scream and get public attention and cause thousands of online debates and rancid comments and angry outbursts and we feel justified and righteous as we do it. Many of us actually PRAY that God will strike down entire countries or groups of people who we decide deserve to be sent to hell. I could add several links to professing Christians do so over and over again, but I won’t.  So I don’t think it is far fetched to imagine Jesus jumping off the cross and laying all those who persecuted Him flat on the ground and, truthfully, many of us would cheer and scream in joy had He done so.  In our natural core, we are often Zealots ready for blood.

But if Jesus really did react like that, He would be just like you and me.  He’d be walking in the natural.  He’d say “you treat me good, I treat you good.  You treat me bad, I treat you bad.”  He’d be no different or better than you, or me, or any of us who are nothing in our own power than natural thinkers and actors.

But in reality, Jesus walked or manifested Himself on “the Highway” or “the Kingdom Way”; even after ALL that had been done to Him, the humiliation and pain He went through despite His innocence, He called out to God and said, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.”  They treated Jesus badly, and yet He returned good by not only asking for their forgiveness, but He gave an excuse for them!  The Roman soldiers and the Jewish leaders hadn’t even ASKED for forgiveness – they had not repented for their actions – and yet Jesus asked for their forgiveness!  Yet we, as Christians, often condemn others and point out their sin, emphasize their sin actually, justifying why they do not deserve forgiveness and absolutely deserve no kindness, empathy, or love.

Even before His torture, when the Roman soldiers came to the Garden to arrest Jesus and Peter cut the ear off the soldier, Jesus did not return their bad with evil.  He didn’t say “You lost your ear because you meant to harm me with this arrest, so that’s what you get.”  No, He turned the bad to good by rebuking Peter and healing the soldier’s ear, without any price or request or demands from the soldier.  He returned bad with good.

The truth is, when the controversial subjects have arisen around me lately, I have picked up the sword like Peter and started swinging.  I felt just a justified in my actions as Peter did with his sword, as he lovingly and passionately protected the Lord he loved.  I can even claim my actions are for my Lord, the but truth is those actions have moved me far away from the actions of Jesus and have placed me right back into the natural.  I have put myself in a place of direct rebuke from Jesus, just as Peter was rebuked.  In fact, I and we project “the natural” too often onto the Kingdom thinking we are standing up for what we believe or what we feel is right and pound on our chests thinking we are defending our God, when in fact we are offending His sacrifice and everything He did for and to us.

And, let me be real about something else, too.  I often tell people, especially when I feel passionate about the Word or an idea related to Scripture, that the Bible is final.  And I pull out scriptures to prove my case and walk about like I am dropping the mic as if to say “BOOM, IN YOUR FACE.”  But sometimes quoting scripture is just more of the same natural manifestation that Christ has freed us from and which we keep picking up and tying around our ankles like a chain.  For example, the law was handed to Israel in Exodus 20 and then began to get more defined in Exodus 21  In fact, Exodus 21:24-25 (ESV) justifies through the law that I can and should manifest myself in the natural.  In fact, the law takes me to the place I usually live anyway (you do bad to me, I do bad to you):

 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

But I want to live in the principles of the Kingdom.  And it is amazing to go back to the Sermon on the Mount and hear Jesus say the following in Matthew 5:38-42 (ESV):

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’  But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.  And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

Jesus is quoting Exodus 21 and basically saying, “You got it wrong.  My plan for you was the Kingdom Way, NOT the natural way!”  He is showing us that we should ALWAYS return good no matter what is given to us, EVEN IF what is given to us is bad/mean/hurtful.  I mean really, someone sues us and we offer them more than what they asked for?????  Do not resist when we believe someone is being evil?????  Yes, that is the Kingdom way.

When we REST in Jesus Christ and stop trying to fulfill the law in which He’s already fulfilled and instead focus on loving others and not fighting others (being poor in spirit, not relying on ourselves, not fighting for God but walking WITH Him), we begin to allow Jesus through the Holy Spirit to guide us in His ways…..in the Kingdom Way.

So, as I think about Kim Davis and her actions, and more importantly myself and my reactions to situations such as her recent claim to fame, I also think on Matthew 10:11-13 (ESV) (emphasis mine):

And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 

This scripture brought it home to me, in relationship to all I’ve shared here.

  • Jesus died for me, providing His righteousness and power now, in His kingdom
  • The Kingdom is powerful and is here, close at hand, now
  • I am poor in spirit – I can’t get to the Kingdom Way/Highway on my own but Jesus can take me there once I admit I can’t do it with my own power or actions
  • He showed me my reaction can ALWAYS be good when I rest in Him and His love, even when others seem to be sending me bad things
  • Finally, I can always have Peace in my life.  Because, as Matthew 10 says, if I send out peace, then others can send me peace back (I am good to you, you are good to me)……but if I send out peace and it is not received, my peace through Jesus Christ comes back to me (I am good to you, no matter what you do the Peace comes back to me……because if you send me evil I will always return good through the love of Christ).  Either way I have Peace.  It isn’t about worthiness or unworthiness of others, it is about the Peace of Christ and its power above all things in the natural.

So, again I am sorry that I have been walking in the natural and feeling justified in doing so.  I thank God that He has reminded me that He has provided the means to get to the Kingdom Highway through His power and that if I rest in Him, He will keep me coasting on the Kingdom Way.

Peace.

2013 – A Year in Review

/ Gina Marie / 1 Comment

The postings on this site are my own and do not represent My employer’s positions, strategies, or opinions.

Ah, I remember when I was 8.  Back then my biggest goal was to be 12, because for some reason that was the number I was aiming for.  I clearly recall thinking it would be FOREVER until I was 12 and I was overwhelmed by impatience.  Then, when I turned 12, 16 was the big number to hit, and THAT was so far, far away.  I think on that, realizing how very far away it remains today, but will leave that one alone!  🙂

But this post is not about yesteryear, but about 2013 and all it encompassed.  Of course, I cannot talk about EVERYTHING, but there have been many “big rocks” that certainly were highlights in the year.  Enjoy my walk down memory lane for 2013 and feel free to point out anything you felt I missed in the comments!

January

January, and 2013, started out with a bang.  I came into work on 1/2 and found out the contract my employer held with The company I have been working for had ended.  No worries, they hired us!  It has been a wonderful change and I appreciate the job I have.  I do miss the few that did not make the transition and send the best thoughts to them.

February

I was honored and blessed to have Pastor Robert Barker ask me to fill in for him and provide the main sermon for his congregation (and my former church home) at Crossroads Community Church while he was out of town.  If you want to use up 35 minutes of your time, check the message out here.

April

Deana and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary!  Even writing that it feels…..interesting.  On one hand, it seems she and I have been together forever and 10 seems so small in comparison to the fullness I’ve felt with her.  At the same time, there are days when our love is so overwhelming it feels like we are still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship and I question how it has been so long.  Good thing we met each other so young.  ;P

We also purchased our Hyundai Elantra in April and got a smoking hot deal with the help of their employee and our brother, Michael!  Thanks bro!

Zack turned 11 this month despite my demands for him to remain little.

I believe this is the month that my mom, after being hospitalized A LOT for over 2 years, received surgery that changed so many things in her life!  She is much more aware (her dementia is not as bad), her overall health has been stabilized, and I am very happy.

May

Deana and I were blessed to be able to attend a conference in Las Vegas for my work, allowing us to drive to California for a few days to see friends and family.  I was able to see my parents, my besties Sonya Bishop and Julie Kang, and family such as Julia and Drew.  We even got to spend a few hours at Disneyland thanks to the free entry provided by our friend Cassie!  It was a short trip but a huge blessing.

Kenny turned 18 in May – GASP!  I am very proud of all that he’s accomplishing too.

Also in May, we lost a good friend and a mentor of mine; Sandy Schuster.  It was hard as we were in California when she passed and then I was traveling for work during her memorial.  Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of something she said or did, and I am thankful that Maddy remains a big part of our life.

June

I was beyond blessed to fulfill (with the support of Deana) a huge dream; I purchased my 2013 Spyder ST-S!  I have wanted one since they first came out and I have not regretted it for a minute.  I LOVE THIS ROADSTER!!!!  And yes, I named it JT after Justin Timberlake and I will often be accused of saying things such as “I rode JT GOOD!”

I also got a tattoo this month, the addition to my existing hearts with the names and birthdays of Kirstie, Kenny, and Josh.  The addition was Zack and Sophia and it rocks.

Kenny also got his first Texas job, working as a certified lifeguard at Hawaiian Falls.  It also allowed him to upgrade his Geo Metro to a Dodge truck – I am proud of the hard work and savings he accomplished to meet this goal.

This month also offered historical decisions in that DOMA and California’s Prop 8 were overturned.  These decisions have huge impact on a large section of our society, including myself and Deana.  To think that our legal marriage is now recognized at the Federal level is humbling.  And to see our California brethren being able to join us in marriage is wonderful!  Since then I am so happy that several other states have expanded equality!  I must once again thank my family and friends who reached out the day DOMA was overturned and shared their congratulations – it still blesses me to think of that!

July

First off, July was huge in that I paid off ALL of my medical bills!  These included my hospitalizations from my ulcer as well as my surgery in May 2012.  I am VERY excited about this, even now!

Also in July our family got to vacation in beautiful Coeur d’Alene, Idaho!  This is a beautiful resort town and is GORGEOUS!  We got to hang with good friends and also see the sites in Montana and Washington as well.  Best memory for me is being hurled out of the raft during white water rafting and Kenny yelling “ROCKS!”  ha.

July also began my CRAZY traveling schedule for work as we kicked off the new software training phase at all of the US plants we serve, which lasted through September.  It was great to meet many of my co-workers for the first time, some more than others!  If only they didn’t complain so much about the software…..right Taryn?  🙂  I am also glad that I was able to see my brother, David, on two of those trips to Bakersfield.  It is great that he lives right next to LAX!

August

My baby, Deana, had her birthday of course.  I am sad to say I was traveling for work.  Thank you D for working within those crazy parameters and always being so understanding.

This was also the month that Josh, not yet 13, grew taller than me.  For pete sake, really?  Tis true.

September

TONS of birthdays this month!  Kirstie turned 23, Josh turned 13, and Sophia hit double digits at 10!  Whoa there mister!

I got my first “super short” haircut that I actually LIKED.  Oh, I have had others in the past, there are plenty of pics to prove that, but this time IT WORKED.  I just got it again and even though I had thought about growing my hair out, I am glad I don’t have to deal with curly craziness as of right now!

Deana, Zack, Sophia and I also were able to go to Paris, Arkansas with Jerry, Julie, Kaylie, and Mom for her ancestry “homecoming”.  This is when people gather at the private cemetery where her mother, grandmother, and other relatives are buried and basically have a BBQ.  Seriously.  It is a little weird, I am not going to lie, but it is also awesome.  We have done this before and usually clean the headstones, area, and love hearing stories from Mom.  We also ordered mom’s headstone – yeah, a bit weird – and stayed at the Lodge in Mount Magazine which is BEAUTIFUL.  I wouldn’t trade it or the memories.  Next time I am bringing JT and riding there; this year there was too much rain.

October

Well, first this was the “Go Live” for my software rollout at work for the 9 US locations.  This project, of which I am its manager, was HUGE and had been going on for over a year.  I was a bit anxious and nervous, but it went overall very well and I am very blessed.  This was a BIG DEAL of my life and much of the year, and I am thankful for the support I received from so many people.  Deana, many of my friends especially at Ennis (you know who you are), and my kids who managed when I was traveling so much.  Thank you all!  The support has been ongoing and I give a special shout out to Cary at work who has really stepped up on that front so I can focus on the Canadian rollout.

Also in this month Deana started her 4th Open Enrollment for the City of Dallas.  The amazement I feel is tremendous as she absorbed so much on the home front due to my rollout, yet she is only one of 4 benefits employees handling over 13,000 employees and she rocked it.  Her professionalism and ability to multitask in every aspect of her life is amazing.

Zack and Sophia also rocked the world of soccer as they both won first place in their divisions and I believe are continuing on the state level.  Sophia’s team, in fact, is 100% undefeated!

November

This month celebrated the marriage of Stephanie and Chris!  Wow, what a momentous occasion and one of the most fun receptions I’ve been to in a LONG time!  To see some footage of said wedding, check it out here and here.  The month also included, prior to the wedding, a great bachelorette party and a very fun drag show!  No, I didn’t dress as a woman though was called out as Rachel Maddow.

Another important event was Kirstie being baptized!  She made this decision and I was very blessed to be able to attend this heartwarming event!  To see a quick clip, click here.  So proud of you Teet!

December

Ah, December!  My birthday month!  Christmas and family!  But I have to say that I enjoyed attending Josh’s recital in this year’s Regional Honors Band!  He is very musically inclined and I am glad he is able to play the trombone and be recognized for his hard work and effort.  To hear one of the songs he and his fellow honor students played, click here.

Deana and I also got to hang out with some cool friends at yet another drag show and it was FUN!  Thanks Tracy for the invite and looking forward to more in 2014!

I was also blessed to be able to meet my second cousin (I think) when I traveled to Atlanta for work!  Nancy’s paternal grandmother was the sister of my maternal grandmother!  We found out about each other through Nancy’s sister Ellie; I had “grabbed” something off of Ellie’s ancestry.com family tree and we realized we were relatives.  How cool is it to find family members that way???  Cool!  And sitting with Nancy, who really was a “stranger” in many ways, just felt……right!  She enthralled me and made me laugh and well……I loved it!  I am looking forward to what 2014 hold on this front!  Especially you, Ellie!

Misc

I actually started saying “twenty-thirteen” this year, instead of “two thousand thirteen”.  I feel almost cool.

We (the kids and I) have recorded several “cover” songs for our annual CD again.  It is a bit behind schedule and so it will be release hopefully in Q1 of 2014.

Again, if there are items you think of, post them in the comments!  I hope that 2014 offers many blessings to you and yours and I look forward to being part of them!

2014 is another year that will be full of work and travel for me!  Canada (Toronto and Quebec), Australia, and the United Kingdom are filling up my card!  🙂  What is in store for YOU in 2014?

Duplicity

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

We humans, well…..we’re just plain crazy. We manifest our zaniness in multiple ways. We are scared of eating sushi yet we pay big bucks to ride on roller coaster that propels us against gravitational pull and high speeds. We buy things of lower quality to save a few bucks and then charge that purchase on a credit card that has a high interest rate.

Sometimes, in our supposed intelligence we’re just plain……SILLY!

The area where I most notice this duplicity is in realm of faith. I am not proclaiming views as right and wrong, but let’s be real – with the same-sex marriage, gun control, and even abortion debates there is PLENTY of duplicity. “God Hates Fags” being held by a church member who also swears that the sign is showing love to his neighbor because, if he “didn’t know the truth, he wouldn’t know he was going to hell”.

But this post is not really about political duplicity in the context of religion as noted above. Because, I feel there is a much more dangerous threat of duplicity in our lives, especially in our churches. And it scares the hell out of me, no pun intended.

You see, in the last year I have been taught from very loving and caring people some of the following concepts:

Idea #1 – It’s important to use your words to share the truth, even if what you have to share is not “politically correct” or is “viewed as judgment”.

Idea #2 – It’s important to NOT give satan power by using or believing words that are lies.

Let me give you examples of both of the above so that you can understand them in context.

Context of Idea #1 – We need to tell church members that they’re not doing enough to be considered a “good Christian”.  Francis Chan likens this to being a lukewarm Christian, that which will be spit out from God’s mouth as noted in Revelation.  

This concept is great in many ways, of course.  Show me faith without works and all that.  The pastor in question went on to say that we ALL should not only seek out the truth, but not be afraid of it.  His example was that when you go to take your car to the dealership to be repaired and the brakes need to be replaced, you want to know the truth and details so you can address it.  Or when we go to the doctor, to get the real news about what’s up.  You do not want the dealership, or your doctor for the matter, to tell you “good” news if the news is really bad.  You want the truth so that you can deal with it appropriately.  More on this topic in a minute. 

Context of Idea #2 – Satan wants us to believe lies so that they can take hold in our lives.  For example, falling for the lie that you have cancer; if you verbalize this if you’re told it will take hold.  Satan lies about illness and we, as Christians, have been healed by our Lord and Satan wants to get us to buy into the doctor’s lie about illness in our life.

This concept, when presented in a way that is encouraging, can really get people fired up.  It reminds us in many ways about how much we don’t trust in our Lord and believe in His power!  It tells us to lean not on our own understanding but trust and WALK in the power of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  It becomes more problematic, however, when a person progresses in the diagnosis.

______

And here is my point – how can we both seek the truth AND deny what is told to us?  Given the above scenarios, how can you get the truth about the diagnosis, for example, and then immediately refute it as a lie from Satan?  Even if you do refute it as a lie from hell, if you get treatment from your doctor, isn’t that sort of giving into the Satanic lie that the illness is really there?  And if you DON’T get treatment, then what?  Why even go to the doctor to get “the truth” in the first place?  Further, I have seen where the teaching of #2 cause good, honest, but scared Christians to even SHARE that they’ve been diagnosed with cancer or other serious illnesses because they are afraid that having people even THINK the words would give a stronghold to Satan to push the illness in their lives.

This not-so-sublte duplicity – seek the truth and then push it away for fear of allowing Satan to run with it – is damaging to so many lives.  To say in one breath “you need to know what to pray for or ask prayers on” while also saying “don’t you claim in word that you have cancer!  don’t you dare do it” is DUPLICITOUS!  It is mean.  It is painful.  It is dangerous.

I bring cancer into the mix because I have lost 6 lives to cancer in the last two years.  In my own walk I have feared asking for prayers from some of my sisters and brothers in Christ for this very reason; I was tired of being told that I was propagating the illness by my insisting that the doctors were correct with their diagnosis.  I felt both insulted and as if I relied too heavily on my intelligence and not enough on my faith.  I seriously QUESTIONED my faith!  And that of my loved ones – both in my family and in my church – who got more sick with each passing day.

And yet, when the deaths came, the words changed to “God just wanted them in heaven”.  That’s a whole different duplicity, because hello – we are ALL going to die someday right?

But I digress.

Let’s just stop putting these rules on life people.  Let’s stop putting parameters on faith.  When someone is scared, don’t pummel them with indirect chastisements because they lack the amount of faith they should have (by saying they have cancer, or admitting they’re scared, or for throwing out the F word right after the C word, or anything else).  Let’s remember that Jesus Christ CRIED and BEGGED God to take away the needed death He was facing.  He was so freaked out that He sweat blood!  Let us have those moments of fear and begging out to God without your judgment and supposed “God Hates Illness” signs.  Stop insisting we cannot speak our fears audible or share facts received by medical doctors with intelligence provided by God by saying we are putting more faith in doctors than the Bible and God which says we were healed by the stripes Jesus took.  (Again, not to say we weren’t healed, or can’t be healed of cancer, but saying “hey, my doctor says I have cancer” doesn’t negate a dang thing).

Anyway, I am getting fired up and that means I am no longer logically approaching this subject, so I will leave it at that.  Feel free to comment about how wrong I am.  This is a free country and, to avoid being duplicitous, I don’t want to tell you not to use your words.  🙂

God’s Eyeglasses – My First eBook!

/ Gina Marie / Leave a comment

I am happy to announce my first eBook, and it’s FREE!  It’s not even that long!  The only catch – it’s available through iTunes only at this time.  You either need to download it to your iPad or to your computer using an iTunes account.  However, I’d love it if you’d download it and let me know what you think!

God’s Eyeglasses – Based on Faith, The Word, and Basketball.  Find it here.

Thanks!

A Change of Pace – Not About Chick-Fil-A

/ Gina Marie / 3 Comments

I tell you, it’s been a crazy week for me!  LOTS of roller coaster rides emotionally, but I can say as I sit and write this, I know and feel the love of Christ envelop me.  And am reminded to walk in HIS love, and love others as He has taught, and then the rest will fall into place.  But I digress.

Today I would like to share my beliefs about something, and especially this week I learned that everyone has a right to have and share their beliefs.  The spirit of this sharing is not in order to convince you to think the way I do, to point out how wrong it is for you to believe what you do, or anything like that.  It is to share WHY I believe what I do and I hope for one goal – that you can understand MY position.  If any reader feels they need to share THEIR opinion, via public comment or private message to me, that’s fine.  Just please use the same spirit of not telling me or anyone else why MY feelings are “wrong” or yours are “right”.  Focus on why you believe it, period.

Topic of the Day:  Marriage vs Civil Union

During the course of this week, I have heard several sub-topics pop-up as either reference points or proving points within the bigger Chick-Fil-A/Free Speech/Freedom of Religion debate chain.  Some honestly made me roll my eyes (I’ve posted here before how the whole “Adam and Eve vs Adam and Steve has always made me react), though many were shared intelligently and without as much perceived venom.  One such topic was Marriage vs Civil Unions.  And that got me to thinking.

The premise presented (and it was presented in a friendly way) that the issue this person had is that her religion does not accept or approve of same-sex marriage, so to have the government FORCE it or elevate it above her religious beliefs was offensive to her.  However, if Civil Unions were legalized and offered the exact same legal rights and benefits as marriage to same-sex couples, which in her mind also meant it didn’t include her religion or beliefs, she was cool with that.  That way, both groups could be treated equally without the infringement on religious beliefs.

At first, I have to admit this sounded cool to me.  I mean, some of my biggest concerns as a lesbian is that my wife (and remember, we were legally married in New York, so I can say that) will not receive social security benefits, may be excluded from me if I were in the hospital, would have to potentially pay inheritance taxes on the house we purchased together as we are not seen as relatives, and really……the State of Texas (and bunches of others) don’t even recognize my marriage at all.  So, my first response was,”Yeah, give me a Civil Union and make sure the legality is recognized at the State and Federal level, and I’d be cool with it.”  Because really, MY God approves of my relationship so I already have that piece and this would add the missing pieces.

But then I started to think more deeply about this and realized, TO ME, this is only a partial solution.  And admittedly, I’d take it in a heartbeat today, but I would not stop supporting the efforts for full marriage equality until it comes to fruition or I die.  Why?  Let me explain.

I contend such a structure does not promote Equality OR Freedom of Religion!

  • Marriage is absolutely a religious covenant – I don’t dispute it.  But there are members of religions who do not see same-sex marriage as outside their belief system.  While I am not promoting forcing ANY church to perform marriages to same-sex couples if it is against their beliefs (and really, would YOU want to get married in such a church?), to not allow churches who have no problem to perform a marriage in their church to same-sex marriage is not equality.  Both should have a RIGHT to do so, or not do so, as they see fit based on their religious beliefs.  That allows Freedom of Religion.
  • Marriage, whether some view it as a religious right, is not EXCLUSIVELY a religious right.  I was married in the state of California (and you must accept this marriage, for it was to a wonderful man) and it became a legally binding document within the county in which I was married, as well as the State of California.  That legal documents proved to the Federal Government my status, and that of my husband, and allowed us to file taxes together, own property together as family members, share insurance policies, gave us breaks, social security benefits, etc.  In fact, THAT side comes whether we would have married in the church, on the beach, or at the county court via “civic ceremony” with a judge marrying us.  In fact, as the laws stand now, ATHEISTS can get married, get a marriage license, and there is no limitation to their access.  Marriage is a legal definition of a status, not just a religious profession of love, already in our country.  So implying that this “religion only” policy needs to be protected is not valid and, to me, means it is being requested to exclude a specific group of people.  That is not equality.
  • But you may say, okay Gina, I don’t dispute most of the above at all.  But bend a little – Civil Unions will be the same under the law.  But I contend, why the need for “segregation” of groups of people if the law has the same rights?  What if I got a job and my new boss didn’t know I was a lesbian and his personal beliefs were that gays go to hell (and he has a right to believe that)?  Let’s say when I turned in my documents for  insurance, he sees that I have a Civil Union instead of a Marriage certificate?  Whether or not he acts on this knowledge is not the point – I have been put in a place of “being different” than my coworker for no other reason than to “protect religion/marriage”.  I contend that is not equality.  Just as if a religion, who requires boys to be circumcised as a religious right, demand birth certificates for those who choose to NOT circumcise  a “Civil Certificate” instead of a “Birth Certificate”.  Whether or not you agree, at the very core we are segregating based on religious beliefs and that is not equality under our Constitution.
  • I do not accept that my legal marriage destroys your marriage, if I am allowed legally to have one – any more than a drug addict causes you to take drugs.  It still allows you to believe that same-sex marriage is wrong and you have the right to never, ever do it yourself.  Further, your status of a legally married person does not get limited, watered down.  When I got married legally in the State of New York, there was not a line of straight married couples whose marriages became less meaningful, real, or legal.  In fact, my very same-sex RELATIONSHIP has not changed anything about yours.  But, you might argue the “idea and traditions will be shattered”.  Again, what about all those atheists getting married?  What about multiple marriages after multiple divorces?   What aren’t you seeking to block THOSE hinderances to “traditional marriage”.  What is YOUR traditional marriage definition?  I have two co-workers who can’t agree on this; one says it means never getting divorced and staying married until you die.  The other says it means marriage between a man and a woman.  When I asked why both believe that, they say, “it’s always been that way”.  (I won’t argue that divorce has been around since Moses’ time – that is another conversation all together!).  You get the drift – why does ONE view get escalated above others?  What makes it truly right?  Do we, as Americans, demand that every law tie directly back to OUR version of the Bible?  That is not upholding the Constitution to me, because my view is that all Americans have a right to Religious Freedom, which includes NOT believing what I believe or anything else.  So using Biblical Principles (for which I follow closely, by the way) to define marriage as between one man and one woman “as God intended” is in direct contrast with Freedom of Religion.
  • This whole premise just really categorizes Americans, which is really a duplication of something I’ve already said.  But WHY do we as Americans fight so hard to keep everyone in boxes, either to elevate or demonize?  Why can’t EVERYONE sit at the counter for lunch?  Why, instead, or we suggesting that we build TWO counters – one for straights, one for gays – and then everyone will be happy?  Because that right away creates TWO lines to get into the restaurant (or some point of “weeding out” straights and gays).  And that makes it clear, the MAJORITY of straight people want me to stay away from them.  And that is not equality.
  • To sum it up, Civil Unions (to ME) says “your union is not moral enough/sacred enough/accepted enough/mainstream enough/whatever enough to be called a marriage”.  And that is not equality.  And that is not American.

So, now I need to go to work, where I pay my taxes each paycheck like any good American.  And this American is looking forward to the day that I can get married, like my co-worker that sits next to me, looks like me, works like me, and maybe even votes like me.  But the laws today say they have something I don’t, even as I pay taxes, avoid breaking the law, etc.  I can appreciate ANY American not liking my sexual orientation and agree it’s not cool when LGBT shove it in people’s faces.  But I don’t like a lot of things about Americans around me (and I am not talking about “illegal activity”) but is it okay for me to create law after law to control things I don’t like?  No smoking, no more fast food and fat Americans, no more broccoli because it’s just gross, my parents never ate sushi so why should Americans?  You get it.  America is not one to dictate our beliefs, but this whole “traditional marriage” thing smells of dictatorship to me – not the belief part, but the forcing those beliefs on all Americans.

Again, I am curious as to WHY you believe what you do.  But please remember to be kind!  And thanks for honoring my right to freedom of speech.

Bible Study: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

/ Gina Marie / 2 Comments

Actions Speak Louder than Words (Aka Rocking your Identity)

As presented at CCC 9/25/11

How many times have you heard that phrase?  How many times have you USED that phrase?  I know I can answer both “A LOT!”.  And yet, I feel that God has been showing me this phrase in action, and in different ways, in recent days.

On the one hand, He has taught me in my new “Jesus plus nothing” – grace filled life that I don’t have to PRESENT anything to be His……I don’t need to act or be or look a certain way in order to be a “good Christian”.  All things are permissible……and yet, I am the first to share that leading a hypocritical life does nothing to encourage me or others.  I Is this where “…..but not all things are beneficial” comes in?  Is this where “the fruits of the Spirit” comes in?

Some other ideas about “being a Christian” exist in my life, too.  Like the prevailing idea that, as a Christian, my first and biggest focus needs to be on converting others to my faith.  On the surface, this is important because – REALLY – we have such freedom in Christ, don’t we?  And being saved from eternal damnation is kind of important, too.  Even John the Baptist went out on a limb to get the attention of the Jews back in the day – wearing camel cloths and screaming out to anyone who would listen, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”  So, often I hear the nagging thoughts that bounce around the back of my head that I am not doing enough to witness to those around me about the Saving Grace found in Jesus Christ Alone.

But THINGS have been shaking up this view of mine lately.  First, let me be clear – I am NOT saying we shouldn’t share the love of Christ.  But I think I’ve looked at this wrong my entire Christian life!

First of all, I will tell you I weigh too much – if you could see me now, you’d realize this truth without any words coming out of my mouth.  I have been this way for a while.  So, imagine my reaction if I was sitting having a fabulous lunch and a personal trainer that I didn’t know came up to me and said, “Hey, I noticed from across the room that you are entirely too fat.  I am a personal trainer and I would like to help you overcome your gluttony….get you off of your couch, and get you back to living a healthy life!” While his comments would be – let’s be real – 100% accurate, I could tell you will full honesty that after I punched him in the face, I’d tell him off without hesitation!  THE NERVE of the man!  I mean, he didn’t even KNOW me, and yet you are rude enough to come talk to me that way?!?!?  I mean, WE AREN’T EVEN FRIENDS!

Yet, so many of us Christians think it is okay to walk up to people and either say straight out or imply they are going to hell or that their belief system is totally inaccurate!  These statements are very accurate, just as my example of me needing a personal trainer was, but are they a good approach?  I’m not so sure.

Let me put it this way – imagine a group of Hindus are out and their goal is to teach us “poor Christians” that we are doomed if we don’t convert to their real religion.  You and I both know that WE have the truth and their efforts would be wasted.  Why do we American Christians expect a different reaction from Hindus (or others – religious or not) when we approach people without any introduction and straight-out say “you’re lost man, you need what I got!”?

“BUT”, I say to myself, “I DO have what they need!”

So, using the tools that have brought me through the steps of The Naked Gospel, I decided to STUDY the life of Jesus and really absorb how He interacted with those around Him.  The difference being, of course, that Jesus COULD condemn, COULD judge, COULD direct, etc – while I cannot.  You get the drift.

Jesus with the Immoral – the Adulteress (John 8:3-11)

I need to start by saying first that I was always taught and really focused on the end of this story, “Go, and sin no more!”  I used to absorb it as Jesus saying, “Hey, I am God and I have given you this chance to clean up your ways, now go do it – you might not be this lucky next time!”  Or, when I’d look at the failures and bad decisions of my OWN life, I’d look to this interaction as one to make myself feel better – I don’t deserve to be stoned by others who are just as messed up as me, and now I need to shape up.  I have even reminded myself of this story to not judge others who really kind of deserved what they should get……but I would “do what Jesus did” and forgive them.  Maybe you can relate to what I am saying, but now I am going to ask you to focus on Jesus and how He was in this story – not the accusers, not even the woman who had committed adultery.  Jesus.  Period.

Now first, let’s consider some truths about this situation – the Mosaic Law established that this woman who was “caught red handed” should be stoned. Jesus never said this law was wrong, nor did he say He was changing the law.  Instead, Jesus asks the accusers to go right ahead, “as long as they were free from sin as well”.  They all could say no such thing, and so they left.  Agreed?
But let’s get back to our focus – Jesus.  He was without sin.  He was God and was the only human on the face of the earth who could have applied HIS law to this woman, for His lack of sin provided the right to throw a stone based on His new feedback to those that accused this woman.  He also could have turned to the accusers and screamed, “You hypocrites!  You bring this woman to me and yet you are lying, cheating, horrible men inside!  Further, you are bringing this woman to me not because you love the law, but because you hate me and want to trick me into making a fool out of myself!”  Jesus had EVERY right to react that way to all involved.  And yet, what did He do?

Verses 6-11 say this:
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.   At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”   “No one, sir,” she said   “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

He did not debate, he did not yell, he didn’t even take the stance of power, really.  Jesus could have set them straight with who He was!  He could have yelled for all to hear the secret and also easily seen sins each of them held in their lives.  Yet, in almost a “whatever” way, he stood and spoke the truth.  There was NOT anger in His voice towards the accusers, and there certainly was not any hint of condemnation in His voice towards the accused.   In fact, His very WORDS removed any condemnation from her!

Jesus with the Hated – Zacchaeus the Tax collector  (Luke 19:1-10)

Both Pastor and Shaw have shared this story recently, and shared how society hated the tax collector Zaccheus, and yet Jesus honored him and loved him.  Jesus truly came to save the lost, and that is where our hearts should be, too.

Jesus with the Rejected in Society – Foreign, female, Samarian (John 4:5-29)

Again, Christ could have condemned this woman just by the mere fact that she WAS a woman, never mind that she was a Samaritan AND a sinner.  And yet their interactions not only shared salvation with the woman, but those she spoke to also believed in Christ.  Jesus did NOT denigrate her, did not condemn her!

Jesus with the Political Leader – Roman Governor, Pilate (John 18:33-40)

Jesus spoke truth to Pilate, but He didn’t disrespect him.  Instead, he acknowledged Pilate’s position on the earth and noted that His own position was not of the world but of heaven.  Even in doing so, Jesus didn’t fight with Pilate or tell him he had no authority over him.  After the interaction Pilate found no fault in Jesus.

Jesus with The Condemned – Criminal on the cross (Luke 23:39-43)

Here was a criminal, found guilty by the laws of the land, and yet Jesus clearly shows He was saved when he said “today you will be with me in paradise!”  Jesus didn’t preach to this man, He didn’t point out the man’s sins, He didn’t even say ANYTHING to this man before faith was received by him!

So what do we do with this????

I know I am under GRACE and have accepted that I am who I am only because of who Christ is.  As such, I need to extend this grace to others, too!  Yet I also think I need to be different from the world, heck I even need to be SEPERATED from the world to be a really, really GOOD Christian!  The Bible says it man!

2 Cor 6:17 Therefore,  “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord.  Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

For years I’ve used this verse and similar ones to justify why I should not associate with sinners, to not attend parties where alcohol is being served, to not go to clubs – you get the idea.  I even would ask if what I was doing would please my Lord.  And when I would succeed, I would feel pretty good about myself, because after all I am an Ambassador for Christ!  But through the months and year I’ve been at Crossroads, I have been compelled to dig deeper into this attitude.

First, I quickly found out that I am not alone in this attitude – today or in the Bible itself!  You do a search on Google about “being set apart from the world” and you will quickly see a grocery list of things Christians should not do:
•    Do not associate with or be around sinners, relatives or not
•    Do not go to parties
•    Do not go to movies where the story line is immoral
•    Do not be excited about doing worldly things, because you will be an enemy of God
•    Being around sinners approves of their sin

When I read this, I kept hearing “what about LOVE?”  And you know I love this verse because I reference it almost every time I stand here:

Mark 12:30-31 Amplified
And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment.  The second is like it and is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

So I began to pray about those around me – everyone – whether or not they LOOKED like a sinner or not.  That man in the nice clothes?  Probably not a sinner.  That thug with the baggy pants, questionable.

Do you believe me?  Okay, you know I am making a point!  But I do admit that when we were at Gay Pride last week I did think with some sadness, “A lot of this is not how I want the world to think of the LGBT community, it seems so sinful.  I mean there is a man with only underwear on.  Over there that woman is completely drunk.  Some were dancing very suggestively.  Maybe I shouldn’t even be here.”  And that was wrong of me.

You see, in the Bible we hear a lot about the Pharisees, and they were very “holy”, at least in appearances!  The word Pharisees comes from the Hebrew perushim from parush, meaning “set apart”.  Did I want to think and act like the Pharisees, being set apart from anyone?  When I started thinking about the Pharisees, I couldn’t ignore the following from Matthew, where Jesus is teaching the crowd about the Pharisees:

Matt 23:1-12 NIV
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.  “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.  “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Then Jesus begins to speak TO the Pharisees in verse 13:
13-15
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.  “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.

Jump down to Verse 23-26, where Jesus doesn’t hold back!

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.  

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

And then he ends in verse 33:
“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?
Well I will tell you, that kind of shook up my attitude about those around me whom I felt I needed to separate myself from.  I did NOT want to be like the Pharisees!  

But what about 2 Cor 6:17?

I stand before you now and contend we DO need to be separated from the world!  But it’s not how I’ve been taught my entire life!  Instead, I challenge you to consider this:

First, let’s define some worldly attitudes:

First, we have to acknowledge that this world is a kingdom in its own right, and it is influenced by Satan.
•    Luke 4:5-6, John 14:30-31, and 1 John 5:19 speak to this.

The dominant values of the world include wealth, power, pleasure, revenge, fame, vanity and status. These things are most important to people who perceive no power or purpose beyond themselves. Worldly values promote jealousies, resentments and conflicts among people in accordance with the purposes of Satan.

Now, I think it’s pretty clear that we, as Christians, should NOT act like what is described here.  We should be SEPARATED from these types of behaviors.  Does it say to separate from the PEOPLE who do these things?  NO!

So, as Christians, how SHOULD we act?

The kingdom of God (also known as the kingdom of heaven) is not a geographic location but rather it exists IN US. It exists within the world among those people who put their faith, trust and loyalty in God.
•    Luke 17:20-21 and many other verses speak to this.

The values of the kingdom of God are often the opposite of worldly values: kindness and respect for all people instead of power; humility instead of status, fame and vanity; honesty and generosity instead of wealth; self-control instead of pleasure; forgiveness instead of revenge. Christian values promote peace and good will among ALL people in accordance with the purposes of God.

So how do we accomplish this????

1.    Follow the biggest and baddest commandments as noted by Jesus in Mark 12, which we read earlier, and Love God.  And if you love God first, it’s hard to act selfishly or focus on silly things that in the end mean nothing to define our identity as Pastor has been teaching us.
•    Excessive attention to material things such as houses, cars, clothes, jewelry, physical appearance, entertainment, etc.
•    Pursuit of wealth, power, fame, pleasure or status
•    Excessive devotion to self, job, hobbies, country, ideologies, heroes, leaders, even family

Not only do these object not define me, but they take my devotion and focus from God and others.

2.    Love and respect ALL people.
•    The English word “love” has many different meanings, but the Greek word, agape, used in the New Testament, is commonly known as “Christian love.” It means respect, affection, benevolence, good-will and concern for the welfare of the one loved.
•    We know from the Parable of the Good Samaritan that Jesus meant EVERYONE regardless of race, religion, nationality or any other artificial distinction. We must even practice that Christian love even toward our enemies as taught in Matthew 5!

Now don’t you agree if more Christians acted THIS way, we truly would be separated from the world?  I mean, what does the world expect from Christians anyway?  Condemnation, arrogance, religiousity?

So having reviewed this I first replayed our interactions with those we met at the Gay Pride Parade last weekend.

As you know, we had a crew out there handing out stickers using the word GAY to explain God Accepts You.  Many have shared on Crossroads Facebook page that people would hunt us down, RUN to us to get those stickers!  And there was something amazingly freeing to say to someone “God accepts you right where you are!” and seeing the shock on their face!

I had an interesting conversation with one girl, and it went like this:

“God accepts you right where you are!”

“Do you promise?” she said, and I sensed she really wanted to believe me.

I responded, “Well of course, it’s in the Bible!”

At the word Bible her face fell.  “Oh, I have been told my whole life that the Bible says I am going to hell.”

And moved by mercy, because we all have had that feeling before, I said, “The Bible is clear that you are not going to hell if you love Jesus.  And He loves you no matter if you’re gay, straight, a cusser…….He loves you right where you are.  I promise that.”

I was moved in this interaction, because there is something SO AMAZING about sharing the LOVE and TRUTH that is the grace we have TODAY in Jesus Christ!

And yet, moments later I was seeing what I deemed immoral behavior and questioning my presence at Pride!  It should not be so!

So God reminded me of how HE interacted with those that were the biggest sinners when He was on the earth.
•    When Jesus called Matthew to be a disciple, he followed him home to have dinner with Matthew, a tax collector, and other “sinners”.  When the Pharisees saw this, they could not believe Jesus would stoop so low as to associate with such horrible people, who were otherwise looked down upon.  Jesus, knowing their thoughts, rebuked the Pharisees, showing us how we should act with people even today (Matt 9:9-13).  Jesus mixed with those deemed “in the world”.
•    You know that he hang out with prostitutes, gentiles, and so many others.
•    In all cases, Jesus shows us that it is more important to humble ourselves and show kindness, compassion, and love to those our contemporaries might classify as “untouchable”.  We must show respect to those that some would deem off limits or beneath us.
So I took these truths a bit further, in conjunction with the Bible Studies on Crazy Love and this journey about witnessing.  And God, He is so faithful!

First, at my new job I work with two Indian women; one has interestingly been raised as a born again Christian while the other is Hindu.  I had already decided that I would show love to my coworkers, whether I really liked them or not, and not push any agenda on my part (which, really, is not my M.O.).  One day Hema, the Hindu, mentioned she was fasting for the day.  This is when I was deep in the Jesus Plus Nothing review when I was finding areas of my life where law really did rule me – be it Biblical law or the laws I created in my life to define what a “good Christian” was.  I commiserated with her a bit and asked her why she was fasting.  She shared that it was for religious reasons as it was supposed to bring her to a stronger spiritual focus, but all she really was thinking about was food!  I shared that I had done similar things in my own faith and that often what turned out to be arrogant works drew my focus from where it should be.  It was a casual conversation – there was really no condemnation, just sharing of feelings.

Suddenly she said to me, “I really can’t believe you’re a Christian!”

That statement shocked me, and honestly kind of hurt, and I replied, “Why would you say that?”

She answered, “Well, you’re the first Christian who hasn’t told me I am going to hell.”

That broke my heart!  And she also shared she had never spoken to a Christian so long about religion without being shut down and pretty much wanted to leave!  To this day, she has sought me out at least 3 times a week to speak about my religion in a very casual way and I have been blessed beyond measure!

So I ask you – is my choice to not condemn Hema wrong as a Christian?  I don’t think so!

So going back to the Pride Parade and those who I resented in my heart for being immoral; being there does not condone activities that I am uncomfortable with.  And I have been reminded by Paul that it is not fair to put the yolk of laws on these people!

So let’s discuss this 2 Cor 6:17 in context.

A misunderstanding of this command, “Come out from them and be separate,” has spawned  (6:17a) a kind of holier-than-thou brand of separatism in certain sectors of the Christian church. Let me clarify what this command does not mean and what it does mean.
First, our passage isn’t talking about separation from believers, but about separation from the idolatry and sexual immorality of the pagans in Corinth. There is a time, of course, to separate from believers. In an earlier letter to the Corinthian church, Paul clarified his teaching as recorded in 1 Cor 5:9-11:

“I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people – not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.  But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.”

In the 1 Corinthians 5 passage, Paul says clearly that we aren’t to associate with believers who continue to practice immorality. Elsewhere, the New Testament teaches to separate ourselves from divisive people (Romans 16:17), idle brothers (2 Thessalonians 3:6, 14), and false teachers (2 John 10).

Some Christians are so separatist that they refuse to associate with Billy Graham because he cooperated with liberal Christian churches. This is known as “second-degree separation” – that is, separation from anyone who will not separate from the things we believe are wrong. Dear friends, this kind of militant separatism breaks the primary law of “love one another.” It is judgmental and exactly the kind of separatism practiced by the Pharisees in Jesus’ day.

Again, our passage in 2 Corinthians does not teach separation from believers (though there’s a time for that). Separation from believers is not the point or the purpose of this passage.

Notice in the passage quoted above from 1 Corinthians, Paul does not require separation from unbelievers. Indeed, we should retain friendships with unbelievers! Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to influence them for Christ.  And we’ve already discussed how Jesus associated with sinners of His day!

But it does command us to separate ourselves from people and associations that will lead us into sin. Paul’s concern was that the Corinthian Christians still participated in the pagan feasts and their attendant sexual immorality.  That is a very different thing from me attending the Gay Pride Parade, because I was able to refrain from public intoxication and some of the other activities I saw.  Yet, had we not had a presence at the parade, so many in the LGBT community would still believe that God hates them!

And I have also been taught over the last few weeks that you NEED To love each person where they are!  There is NO set list of how to react to people or how to act “holy” with people apart from loving them.

A person who seems to do this well I’ve witnessed through my friendship with Tori.  Now, you might not know Tori really well, but she runs pretty deep – the wheels are often turning!  Here are some of the things I’ve noticed and learned from Tori:

•    She’s not afraid to laugh.  Even maybe at a secular joke!  Even at MY jokes!
•    She’s not afraid to cry, especially if her friend is crying.
•    She’s not afraid to listen, even when what she hears is someone’s failure.
•    When she listens, she doesn’t judge.  She loves.
•    She is very humble, but I tell you what she is so powerful in that humility!
•    It’s amazing, no matter what the conversation, Tori represents love and grace to me – and she often SINCERELY/AUTHENTICALLY brings Christ to the center.
•    I am blessed to call her my TFF.

So I pray that you can laugh, love, and grow in Christ.  To see and love others where they are instead of where they should be.  To allow the Holy Spirit inside of you to do His works.  To love like Jesus.  And rock your identity in Christ!