Some misconceptions regarding Deana’s Adoption

You know, it has been eight months since Deana officially started the adoption process with Russia. Prior to that, she had done preliminary research and movements with an agency to adopt from Haiti. Yes, Haiti, where the majority of occupants are black. For reasons primarily due with the instability of the Haitian Government, she did not proceed.

I say this because I often hear some direct and inappropriate questions when I am talking about Deana’s adoption process. Here are a few of them!

Why Russia??? Is it because you want a white child? No, see above. But also I’d like to clarify something – Russia is a huge country and there are vast amounts of cultures and ethnic backgrounds that have melted into the population – just like America!!!! So while the two children Deana is adoption ARE white, there are children that are of Asian descent (hello, Russia is in EUROASIA), there are black children, there are children of Middle Eastern descent, etc. The assumption that people go to Russia for white children is very offensive.

Why Russia???? Why not China or other “needy” countries? Many think that Russia doesn’t have issues with overpopulated orphanages like China, the Ukraine, etc. That is just not true – the statistics are horrifying. Check out my earlier blog “Bible Thumpers Beware” for more references on this matter. Or maybe you can research the subject before you decide what the truth is.

How does Deana know that she can handle being a mother of TWO children all at once? Wow, how inspiring of you! How can ANYONE handle EVER being a parent for the first time? Why don’t people ask that of a first time pregnant woman with twins??? Why, because Deana has CHOSEN this course, do people feel okay asking this question??? But I digress. Let me state this – first of all, Deana is the 3rd of eight children. She was very involved in mothering and nurturing the last four, who were born between her 12th and 19th year of age. She is STILL actively a part of their lives. Furthermore, as a teacher and a human, she is very well gifted in child development and has the NATURAL ability to love and care for children (my own included). She addresses developmental issues (or natural phases) with a calm manner that is amazing for me to watch (yes, I assume that you would think I am an expert because I had three kids conventionally…..) She ALSO has years of education in child development. She has changed diapers, dealt with kids projecting throw up, teenagers rebelling…..the list goes on. I should say to you (if you are reading this and are horrified that you’ve asked this question) – it is NEVER polite to ask such a loaded, judgmental question!

How much is the adoption costing her? A lot, thank you very much! Now I have a few questions – How much do you make a year? How much did you pay for your house? How much credit card debt do you have? Do you tithe every week? ‘nuf said.

What if something is wrong with the kids, I mean, they could have bad attitudes or other issues? Okay, sorry for my sarcasm, but I have three kids and I never remember them handing me a guarantee card when they were born that, because they are my biological children, they will be perfect. Furthermore, Deana has done extensive screenings with professionals on the children – something that I did not do on my own children. Again, why is it okay to ask these questions just because she is adopting? Is it really so unusual that someone can love a child (or children), even if they are not perfect??? Further, GOD placed this burden on Deana’s heart! Chances are high that she will have to deal with issues in the future, as both will eventually be teenagers……..

Okay, I am a bit “rough” today so I will not post anymore. Thanks for reading and feel free to let me know if this post has gone too far.

Note: the above questions WERE asked by real people.

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